I want to get to day 90, have more confidence and go get to know her.
Confidence is something that is earned by facing things that are outside of your comfort zone on a consistent basis. Uncertain circumstances that you fear are made not to matter as much by experiencing them. By dealing with the potential pain, problems, and negative experiences. Confidence is the belief that "no matter what happens, I'll handle it." You earn that confidence by having experiences in the past where you've handle negative experiences before. Which allows you to take more risks in life.
If you're insecure at day 0, you'll be insecure at day 90... or day 9000 for that matter.
Don't be one of those people who think their lives will magically change after 90 days. It won't change unless you change starting from day 1.
Changing from day 1 means facing something beyond your current competence, confidence, and experience level. It means doing something that might not work. It means taking a risk that could shatter your expectations of how things are supposed to be and your identity of who you think you are or who you think you should be. That is usually the number 1 thing that prevents people from taking any action... because they don't want their "how things are supposed to be" and their "my identity says I'm this or that" to ever be questioned or challenged by others or by life.
To have the best chance of getting what you want you have to be willing to potentially NOT get what you want.
The people who are the most successful with business / relationships / life are those who are willing to get rejected / fail / make mistakes / get hurt. Not the ones that wait until they're ready, invincible from any sort of potential pain, or wait for guarantees that doesn't exist.
Then maybe one day marry her.
I'm scared that she will avoid me or her family won't like me.
So there's a couple problems here. This childhood friend of mine is my older sisters best friends, Little sister. She's 17 and I'm 18. She's religious and so is my family. They wouldn't let me date her and neither would my family.
This is all just bullshit rationalization that you're creating to scare you from taking any action. It's procrastinating until you can find a guarantee (which doesn't exist) that everything will be perfect (nothing is perfect).
You've built up this magnificent image of her and the life that you could have with her. You've built up the perfect "how things are supposed to be" ideal image. It's so big and perfect that it's causing you sleepless nights because you don't ever want to see it fall down and break.
That's how you're going to make sure you don't give yourself the best chance at getting what you want. Self sabotage. Overly cautious. Excessively worried about doing the perfect thing to get a perfect result. You don't know what's going to happen and you're afraid of that. You don't believe that you can handle it if your perfect plan doesn't happen the way you want it to. So you'll continue to walk on eggshells and play not to lose. You won't ever lose anything, but you also won't ever win anything. At least you'll still have your big and perfect ideal of how things are supposed to be.... and maybe if you wait a little longer and add more days to your reboot then things will magically fall into place.
Confidence is earned. Confidence isn't the belief that everything will be perfect (that's a delusion). Confidence is the belief that no matter what happens, you'll be able to handle it. If you want to give yourself the best chances with what you want in life, you have to be willing to fully go for what you want and potentially NOT get what you want in life.
Start from day 1. Anything else is just procrastination and waiting for guarantees. Anything else is just holding on to your perfect ideal of how things are supposed to be and protecting your fragile ego that can't handle when things don't go as planned. Anything else is just bullshit.
