So there's a couple problems here. This childhood friend of mine is my older sisters best friends, Little sister. She's 17 and I'm 18. She's religious and so is my family. They wouldn't let me date her and neither would my family. I love this girl though. My family said I can go over to her house and get to know her. I'm scared that she will avoid me or her family won't like me. Idk man. I want to get to day 90, have more confidence and go get to know her. Then maybe one day marry her. Off topic. She looks like zendaya. I just watched spiderman far from home. All I could think about was her man. Aah. Lmao. But yeah. I need advice man. My sister also likes the idea of me liking this girl. She incourages it and says that maybe this girl will feel the same. Who knows man. We'll see.
Cool. Ask her out. Tell her to go get some ice cream or coffee. See how she reacts. Just do that. Don't wait until 90. Do it now as you just read this message.
Yeah, that would be good. Tell you what. I'll invite her over to my house soon. Get her some food. Why not.
I have absolutely no experience in dating, but I think that you should make your intentions clear right from the start, make her notice you like her, if you wait too long she will think you are not interested in her that way.
I agree! Last year I met this amazing gal at the airport I work in. We really seemed to click. I asked her the right type of questions, got her talking and sharing, and she eventually was starting to do things to get my attention and start conversations. I finally had the chance to ask her out. I was a week shy of 90 days and decided to wait. And I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN! She quit her company and I had no way of contacting her. One year later and I’m still kicking myself for that miss. Ask her out. If she rejects you at least you will know one way or the other. I’ll never know.
Damn, that must have been a hard hit. But they hardship from yourself will help others one day. So it's not something to regret, something to learn from. But Bro. Damn. I had a sleepless night today man. Couldn't stop thinking about her. I'll go see her soon for sure.
I think she already thought that cause I was so nervous. But she likes me for sure. It's been two years since I've seen her. Life has always gave me second chances. But yeah, I'll go talk to her for sure.
Confidence is something that is earned by facing things that are outside of your comfort zone on a consistent basis. Uncertain circumstances that you fear are made not to matter as much by experiencing them. By dealing with the potential pain, problems, and negative experiences. Confidence is the belief that "no matter what happens, I'll handle it." You earn that confidence by having experiences in the past where you've handle negative experiences before. Which allows you to take more risks in life. If you're insecure at day 0, you'll be insecure at day 90... or day 9000 for that matter. Don't be one of those people who think their lives will magically change after 90 days. It won't change unless you change starting from day 1. Changing from day 1 means facing something beyond your current competence, confidence, and experience level. It means doing something that might not work. It means taking a risk that could shatter your expectations of how things are supposed to be and your identity of who you think you are or who you think you should be. That is usually the number 1 thing that prevents people from taking any action... because they don't want their "how things are supposed to be" and their "my identity says I'm this or that" to ever be questioned or challenged by others or by life. To have the best chance of getting what you want you have to be willing to potentially NOT get what you want. The people who are the most successful with business / relationships / life are those who are willing to get rejected / fail / make mistakes / get hurt. Not the ones that wait until they're ready, invincible from any sort of potential pain, or wait for guarantees that doesn't exist. This is all just bullshit rationalization that you're creating to scare you from taking any action. It's procrastinating until you can find a guarantee (which doesn't exist) that everything will be perfect (nothing is perfect). You've built up this magnificent image of her and the life that you could have with her. You've built up the perfect "how things are supposed to be" ideal image. It's so big and perfect that it's causing you sleepless nights because you don't ever want to see it fall down and break. That's how you're going to make sure you don't give yourself the best chance at getting what you want. Self sabotage. Overly cautious. Excessively worried about doing the perfect thing to get a perfect result. You don't know what's going to happen and you're afraid of that. You don't believe that you can handle it if your perfect plan doesn't happen the way you want it to. So you'll continue to walk on eggshells and play not to lose. You won't ever lose anything, but you also won't ever win anything. At least you'll still have your big and perfect ideal of how things are supposed to be.... and maybe if you wait a little longer and add more days to your reboot then things will magically fall into place. Confidence is earned. Confidence isn't the belief that everything will be perfect (that's a delusion). Confidence is the belief that no matter what happens, you'll be able to handle it. If you want to give yourself the best chances with what you want in life, you have to be willing to fully go for what you want and potentially NOT get what you want in life. Start from day 1. Anything else is just procrastination and waiting for guarantees. Anything else is just holding on to your perfect ideal of how things are supposed to be and protecting your fragile ego that can't handle when things don't go as planned. Anything else is just bullshit.
Most people are spending way too much energy avoiding pain / problems / negative experiences / rejection / loss / failure / mistakes / etc, but those things are a natural part of life. A natural part of the process of gaining more competence, confidence, courage, character, prosperity, success, and experience. So to go through life trying to avoid them and to condition yourself to be weak in the face of various life challenges is kind of insane if you think about the long term ramifications. That's all it really is... people sacrificing long term outcomes for the sake of protecting their short term emotions. It's like knowing that you have to go to the gym everyday and eventually once in a while you have to lift heavy weights to get what you want, but you go into the gym everyday lifting very easy light weights to avoid discomfort. You condition yourself to be weak and stay comfortable and to avoid any negative feelings. Then you don't get what you want because you don't train yourself to handle the heavier weights. The difference with people who are afraid of life and those that embrace it is their perspective. People can either look at the possible pain, problems, and negative experiences as uncertainties that should be avoided and feared... or they can be curious and excited to see what happens because the risk also involves potential pleasure, solutions, and positive experiences. Uncertainty can be scary or it can be something to be explored with excitement.
This is good advice. If I'm interested in somebody, I show it waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before I even ask them out on a date. Thus I already know their interest level before even asking. The more bold and clear your intentions are, the more clear the other person's level of interest will be. So I would use more eye contact, open body language, attention, touching, and overall excitement to be with them. Compliments and positive energy. Smiling. That's pretty much what flirting is.... showing the other person your interest level in them. The more bold and clear you are with it, the stronger and more clear their reaction will be and thus you'll get immediate feedback to what their interest level is with you. Asking someone out on a date is just a cherry on top to the foreplay you've already laid out................. even if it all went well it could still be a rejection lol. But you can see how being fearful, cautious, and nervous can show the other person weird signals that make the other feel uncomfortable and unsure about you.
Yeah, I guess your right. I was always shy and in my head when it came to this girl, and I regret it man. For real. You gave me motivation to go see her Bro. I'll go see her this week. And yeah. I haven't seen her in two years man. Everyone's saying she's changed for the worst. Who knows. I guess I'll have to go see for myself.
That's a good metaphor, basically training to be a man not some bitch. Every time I've been rejected. It made me a Lil stronger. If I get rejected now. It's probably the biggest rejection I've ever had. I know I'll forget about it in a month or two. But fuck it. I'll see how she's like now, and then shoot my shot.
Yeah we went on a date today Bro. It went well. She told me she feels the same. It was nice. We ate at the old burger place we used to go.
Awesome bro!! Now here is another golden advice for you. This is my birthday present for you: https://killtheinnerloser.com/talking-with-girls-isnt-making-progress/ Go through that article and try to get intimate with the girl. She may be craving it. Maybe even just a kiss. Be honest 100 % if you can and feel like it. Something like. I really wanna kiss you. See how it goes. She went on a date with you, that means you at least like her.
