My fat femdom interest

I agree with @StarRider. He is almost surely correct that your fetishes are from porn consumption. Stay away from porn and look for a conventional relationship. Once you get close in a healthy relationship everything you want will likely follow and you will discover your fetishes are not really part of you.

 

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age. If anything, it shows you have self-discipline, honour and respect for both yourself and women, which has all the makings of an internally-strong man. I am in the same position as you, but I embrace my virginity rather than hide it in shame.

For centuries toxic 'macho culture' has encouraged men to lose their virginities as soon as possible or else look gay, weak or unattractive, but every man is different and should be allowed to live the life he wants. Don't listen to what your friends say, wait until you feel the time is right to give your virginity, then do it when you're ready. Personally I think preserving your virginity for the right girl is far superior to throwing it away on a girl you'll probably never meet again in a one-night stand, particularly as you want a long-term relationship with a girl you want to get to know and trust as a person. That is the best relationship any man should have and I support you absolutely with that.

However, femdom and cuckolding are definitely porn-induced fetishes. As @StarRider says, leave off the porn and those fantasies will gradually leave you. Certainly don't bring them up when getting to know a potential girlfriend, because it will immediately portray you as weak in her eyes, and if she doesn't immediately avoid you, it'll give her an excuse to treat you like dirt. A strong man respects both himself and others, and those fantasies, particularly cuckolding, are some of the most humiliating things for a man to endure. Don't let porn twist your mind or corrupt your judgment.

 

That's awful to hear, I'm sorry that such a thing has happened to you. It seems a bit of that 'macho culture' is present within your family. Nevertheless, you should stick to your guns pal, do what you feel comfortable with doing, and don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do, including in the love and sex department. You're your own man, and the only person who is allowed to change your path is you. Never forget that

 

How long have you abstained from porn? You should try to quit watching porn for a while to the point where you can get off to normal vanilla sex. Most girls will just get weirded out if you mention these fetishes.

 

I know that we shouldn't be relying on dating "experts", but dating coach Dan Bacon literally has the same message as you in some of his content. He never reflects on his "insecurities" with the women he dates, especially in the beginning of the relationship (though I think he's married now). It may be best for OP to talk about his fetishes on NoFap or a therapist or even his male friends, but he should NOT bring this stuff up with females. Most will probably think significantly less of him b/c of femdom and cuckold interests.

 

What @Dr.J_76ers meant was girls would think less of you if you revealed your femdom and cuckold fetishes, similar to what I said earlier, all the more reason for you to work on getting rid of them.

As long as you don't talk about them around girls I'm sure you'll be fine

 

Hopefully it shouldn't come to that, abstaining from PMO completely for a long period of time should cure you fully, but if you're still bothered by them, then you should go and see the therapist.

 

My young friend-

You are getting a bit ahead of yourself. You're not anywhere near a situation where you'll need to inform your future partner about any sexual fetishes. It's like "I'm shopping for a car. But what if I get a flat tire 6 months from now?"

Re: a girlfriend -

You have a few things standing in the way, including your lack of employment and living with your Mom. That's right up there at the the top of the list of deal-breakers for eligible partners, unless you happen to be physically gorgeous and women throw themselves at you the moment you leave your house.

I have this theory, feel free to steal it - "Everyone who wants a job eventually gets a job." For instance, in my town, there is a storefront offering a day's work for cash. You just have to pass a little test, and if you pass it, off you go to the construction site to sweep up, there you go with an orange vest and a hard hat with the road department, holding a "SLOW" sign. Get a job, any job, I say. How will you pay for dates? Or are you going to ask your potential date out and then say "Oh, and you have to pay, by the way."

I knew a nuclear physicist who claimed he couldn't find a job, and it was driving his wife nuts having him hang around the house. The leader of the group we were in told him, to his face, "Get a job at McDonald's frying french fries."

He did and the smile returned to his face, and his wife was happy, even though he was bringing in less than $300 a week from it when his previous job paid $90,000 a year.

Soon he was offered a job in his field, and case closed.

Get a job - today, sir. They're out there. Your mom will be thrilled.

 

Woah, woah, woah there, pal, @BoraxKarloff was only trying to help and he was being genuine as far as I can see. His story about his nuclear physicist pal was just a real-life example used to illustrate his point and to help you.

That's fine if you don't want to go after a low-pay job like McDonalds until you can get another one elsewhere, I also refused to do low-pay jobs like working in supermarkets even though my parents suggested it. You don't have to do anything like that if you don't want to.

However, he is right in that you should keep making the effort to look up jobs in the field you want to work in and apply for them - that's what I did, until I was rewarded with my first job a couple of weeks ago, which I'll be starting tomorrow. That's what you also need to do. Finding a job is hard for everyone right now because of COVID, but so long as you keep applying and having interviews, you'll find a company that likes you and is willing to take you on, whether that happens in a couple of weeks or a couple of years. Very much like so long as you keep making the effort to interact with women and get to know them, you'll one day find a girl who has the hots for you because you're exactly what she's looking for. Getting a good job you love is very important if you want a girlfriend, because few girls will be attracted to a slacker who sponges off his parents all his life (I'm not saying that you're one of those at the moment, but if you don't take action and make an effort to build a better life you may well become one). Do it for yourself first and foremost, but also your mum, your family, and the dream girl you hope to meet in later life.

Also, if you have personal reasons that cost you three jobs, you'd better sort them out or else you'll be in and out of jobs forever.