Hi there , i came back and read my old journal posts and your replies, and it feels so distant, it's been a long time i didn't post any update , and the reason is ; i went back to my "dark place" , since my last streak of 105 and relapse, i thought i needed to release, i had too much energy stored inside me it was somewhat unbearable, and i convinced myself that i wasn't addicted, cause i made it so far, it won't be that hard to do it again! right? well, i tricked myself. This last 3 months were a downhill, i fapped every day, went back to camsites , p*rn , everything ....i would stay for more than 6 hours looking for a fix for my addiction. i stopped working out and i feel like sh*t , i stopped any progress really, my life went on a rewind/loop, its crazy how so many days of hard work and persistence, can be ruined in a couple of minutes. my 105 days mindset, it was a revelation to me ,which i can't recall the feeling honestly, i can say i got my mind polluted, i regret it cause through these 3 months, i needed that mindset so badly, the confident, clear , sharp and positive mind , but i only got the opposite (shy , close-minded, dirty..), i would of gotten so many things done and goals achieved. I don't know how i picked myself up again and decided to nofap again, cause this time it was heavy on me , i felt like a "hungry wolf", prying on PMO, i really couldn't stop fapping, not even for 1 day. All i want to say is , don't relapse, i know it feels too much to hold, the urges and the energy, but believe me, relapsing won't fix , it will ruin everything you built up, in the contrary, you should channel it toward other areas of your life , give the same amount of energy you have inside you, outside. 11 Days no pmo
