My Story My Struggle

Mr.Alumni

Mr.Alumni

New Fapstronaut
Hi everyone....uhh i call myself Mr.Alumni for the sake of secrecy. I wanted to share my story. Forgive me if it sounds too personal. Too start of i've been masturbating to porn since before i knew what porn was. Around age 9 or so. Currently i'm 15 going on to 16 next month

Since then i've gotten worse and worse to the point where at the very least i masturbate 4+ times a day. Before I sleep, As soon as I wake up, As soon as i get home after school, when my mind wanders etc.

Around January was when i realized i had a problem. A month later i tried to quit. Day 1 as soon as 12 o'clock hit i was watching porn. I would try again with a different strategy of only once a day with little success. I gave hope up right after.

It's now June 4th,2018 that i once again am trying to quit for a number of reasons.
REASON 1: i was recently diagnosed with alopecia areata and i'm hoping that a decrease or elimination of this bad habit will help my hair growth

REASON 2: i'm going through puberty and am trying to boot my testosterone naturally so i can speed up the process of growing facial hair

REASON 3: i hope to become more sociable and actually lose my virginity insytead of settling for porn

Everytime i finish masturbating i feel the shame of knowing i failed and encourage myself to try again tomorrow with the same results. Sorry if i ranted i just wanted to put it all out there. I would appreciate any help or advice if possible.
 
Its good your starting early. I have a similar history to you (I'm 21 tho) I started when I was 11 and essentially for 10 years I've been jacking off every day sometimes up to 4 times a day. I tried nofap in the past but this time I'm serious about this I need to change my life around.

I hope your Reason 2 helps me my facial hair grows so slowly lol
 
We're all in this together that's what i came here for, looking for support I'm sure i can do this and I'll help anyone i can along the way good luck to you too
 
Mr.Alumni said:
Hi everyone....uhh i call myself Mr.Alumni for the sake of secrecy. I wanted to share my story. Forgive me if it sounds too personal. Too start of i've been masturbating to porn since before i knew what porn was. Around age 9 or so. Currently i'm 15 going on to 16 next month

Since then i've gotten worse and worse to the point where at the very least i masturbate 4+ times a day. Before I sleep, As soon as I wake up, As soon as i get home after school, when my mind wanders etc.

Around January was when i realized i had a problem. A month later i tried to quit. Day 1 as soon as 12 o'clock hit i was watching porn. I would try again with a different strategy of only once a day with little success. I gave hope up right after.

It's now June 4th,2018 that i once again am trying to quit for a number of reasons.
REASON 1: i was recently diagnosed with alopecia areata and i'm hoping that a decrease or elimination of this bad habit will help my hair growth

REASON 2: i'm going through puberty and am trying to boot my testosterone naturally so i can speed up the process of growing facial hair

REASON 3: i hope to become more sociable and actually lose my virginity insytead of settling for porn

Everytime i finish masturbating i feel the shame of knowing i failed and encourage myself to try again tomorrow with the same results. Sorry if i ranted i just wanted to put it all out there. I would appreciate any help or advice if possible.
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Hi. Welcome to forum!

Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
 
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