My wife is so so angry...

[Psalm27:1my light]

I think perhaps you're misunderstanding the nature of male sexual attraction. It doesn't require you to dwell on anyone's appendages, you look and it's an instantaneous sexual attraction - it's almost mechanical. Fantasy is not a requirement, stimulation is very visual. I understand that's not the case for you but I don't think you can universalise your experience here, especially not in terms of applying it to the male sex.

I think you underestimate also the extent to which people generally are bombarded with sexualising images that can elicit arousal. Advertisements, television, social media... I think it's a fairly well-documented phenomenon the extent to which bodies are now objectified and sexualised in media. So, for someone that's trying to break a porn habit, there's an awful lot of triggers they'll encounter without having sought them out at all. If they can experience that arousal 'hit' and not act upon it, I'd say most are accomplishing their primarily goal with relation to NoFap.

I agree, however, that if there is disagreement about what needs to be disclosed, you have a problem in your relationship. But I think it's an uhealthy dynamic if the other party requires you confess every time you find someone attractive. It's not an environment I think most would want to be in.

I don’t believe male sexual attraction is as different from female as most of us have been conditioned to believe. I do believe we have been taught and socialized in very different ways and media has impacted males and females in completely different ways. Other than that I like so much about what you’ve said here. The sheer fact that female addiction to porn is rising exponentially shows us a bit of this. Now that women can secretly express their sexuality and can potentially avoid some of the responsibility of casual sex, we see a rise in multiple partners, ons, only fans, etc. in women.

 

[USER_ERROR]

I don’t believe male sexual attraction is as different from female as most of us have been conditioned to believe. I do believe we have been taught and socialized in very different ways and media has impacted males and females in completely different ways. Other than that I like so much about what you’ve said here. The sheer fact that female addiction to porn is rising exponentially shows us a bit of this. Now that women can secretly express their sexuality and can potentially avoid some of the responsibility of casual sex, we see a rise in multiple partners, ons, only fans, etc. in women.

when you come right down to it the goal of sexual attraction is just to spread your genes, for a male the best way to go about this is simply to mate with as many females as possible, you wouldn’t be able to help care for them all and they might not all make it to adulthood but some surely would, and more than likely you’d end up with more kids if you took this approach than if you limited myself to just one woman, at the very least, you shouldn’t be too picky about you mate. After all, if you have a fling with a suboptimal partner, it’s no big deal – it costs you little and you’re back on the market again almost immediately.

For a female however, the minimum reproductive cost right of the bat is 9 month regardless of the quality of your mate – and if you decide to keep the kid, several more years after that, and having more mate does not increase your reproductive ability, there may be some benefits to having multiple partners. But nine times out of ten you’d be better off if you held out for a super-fit guy who’d give you super-fit kids, or a good provider who’d help you look after the kids – or if possible, a guy who’d do both. At the very least, you should keep well away from any man who clearly doesn’t measure up.

This is a simplification but given the difference in reproductive cost alone it is no surprise that men have much lower standards, more interest in casual sex and put far more stock on just looks which to their ape-brain translate to fertile; on the contrary, it’d be surprising if they weren’t.

In one of the most famous studies in all of psychology(Clark and Hatfield, Gender Differences in Receptivity to Sexual Offers), researchers had a team of young men and women approach members of the other sex on a busy campus and offer them sex, they asked three questions (one per approach): (1) “Would you go out with me tonight?”; (2) “Would you come over to my apartment tonight?”; or (3) “Would you go to bed with me tonight?”.

For the first question (“Would you go out with me?”), there was no sex difference; around half the men and half the women said yes while the other half demurred. For the second question (“Would you come over to my apartment?”), a large sex difference opened up: 69 percent of men said yes, as opposed to just 6 percent of women. But for the last question (“Would you go to bed with me?”), 75 percent of men said yes as opposed to 0 percent of women.”

Not only did more women than men turn down the kind offer of sex, among those who did, there was a striking sex difference in the manner of the refusal. Most of the men were apologetic, explaining that they were married or had a prior engagement, and in some cases asking if they could get a rain check. The women, in contrast, were not apologetic. Typical responses included “You’ve got to be kidding” and “What’s wrong with you?” None of the men asked what was wrong with the woman offering him sex.

This study was conducted in the United States in the late 1970s, at the height of the Sexual Revolution and before the AIDS crisis.

 

[Real Jerry Seinfeld]

I don’t believe male sexual attraction is as different from female as most of us have been conditioned to believe. I do believe we have been taught and socialized in very different ways and media has impacted males and females in completely different ways. Other than that I like so much about what you’ve said here. The sheer fact that female addiction to porn is rising exponentially shows us a bit of this. Now that women can secretly express their sexuality and can potentially avoid some of the responsibility of casual sex, we see a rise in multiple partners, ons, only fans, etc. in women.

It's a tricky one. I think we can be conditioned by external sources in terms of what we respond to sexually but not necessarily in how we respond when aroused. As in, you can acquire a fetish through watching strange porn and you can lose the capacity for physical arousal through too much exposure to porn. However, the fundamental mechanics of it seem unalterable. Man gets aroused, man gets erection. For men, fantasy is the seasoning on the steak. The meat and potatoes is the visual appearance of the woman. The visual matters massively in male sexual arousal and the effect can be almost instantaneous. At the onset of puberty - before ever being exposed to porn - I could literally see a fully clothed woman with a nice silhouette and be good to go seconds later. That's just my anecdotal experience but I've always believed that male sexuality is a very base sort of drive.

 

[Psalm27:1my light]

when you come right down to it the goal of sexual attraction is just to spread your genes, for a male the best way to go about this is simply to mate with as many females as possible, you wouldn’t be able to help care for them all and they might not all make it to adulthood but some surely would, and more than likely you’d end up with more kids if you took this approach than if you limited myself to just one woman, at the very least, you shouldn’t be too picky about you mate. After all, if you have a fling with a suboptimal partner, it’s no big deal – it costs you little and you’re back on the market again almost immediately.

For a female however, the minimum reproductive cost right of the bat is 9 month regardless of the quality of your mate – and if you decide to keep the kid, several more years after that, and having more mate does not increase your reproductive ability, there may be some benefits to having multiple partners. But nine times out of ten you’d be better off if you held out for a super-fit guy who’d give you super-fit kids, or a good provider who’d help you look after the kids – or if possible, a guy who’d do both. At the very least, you should keep well away from any man who clearly doesn’t measure up.

This is a simplification but given the difference in reproductive cost alone it is no surprise that men have much lower standards, more interest in casual sex and put far more stock on just looks which to their ape-brain translate to fertile; on the contrary, it’d be surprising if they weren’t.

In one of the most famous studies in all of psychology(Clark and Hatfield, Gender Differences in Receptivity to Sexual Offers), researchers had a team of young men and women approach members of the other sex on a busy campus and offer them sex, they asked three questions (one per approach): (1) “Would you go out with me tonight?”; (2) “Would you come over to my apartment tonight?”; or (3) “Would you go to bed with me tonight?”.

For the first question (“Would you go out with me?”), there was no sex difference; around half the men and half the women said yes while the other half demurred. For the second question (“Would you come over to my apartment?”), a large sex difference opened up: 69 percent of men said yes, as opposed to just 6 percent of women. But for the last question (“Would you go to bed with me?”), 75 percent of men said yes as opposed to 0 percent of women.”

Not only did more women than men turn down the kind offer of sex, among those who did, there was a striking sex difference in the manner of the refusal. Most of the men were apologetic, explaining that they were married or had a prior engagement, and in some cases asking if they could get a rain check. The women, in contrast, were not apologetic. Typical responses included “You’ve got to be kidding” and “What’s wrong with you?” None of the men asked what was wrong with the woman offering him sex.

This study was conducted in the United States in the late 1970s, at the height of the Sexual Revolution and before the AIDS crisis.

The pill was not as reliable. The 70’s a woman couldn’t even get a credit card on her own. Women were still expected to marry and be moms. Today is vastly different socially with all types of sexual expression being much more acceptable than even in the 70’s. I remember the single mom that all the adults shunned on our block. That was 1974. It was a “ disgrace” that she was divorced and worse she let her boyfriend sleep over! I may have only been 6 but little ears hear everything at the block parties.
There is also the safety factor. I wouldn’t go anywhere alone with a complete stranger , even if I desperately wanted sex from him. Hell, I wouldn’t open my door to a man I don’t know.

 

[Psalm27:1my light]

It's a tricky one. I think we can be conditioned by external sources in terms of what we respond to sexually but not necessarily in how we respond when aroused. As in, you can acquire a fetish through watching strange porn and you can lose the capacity for physical arousal through too much exposure to porn. However, the fundamental mechanics of it seem unalterable. Man gets aroused, man gets erection. For men, fantasy is the seasoning on the steak. The meat and potatoes is the visual appearance of the woman. The visual matters massively in male sexual arousal and the effect can be almost instantaneous. At the onset of puberty - before ever being exposed to porn - I could literally see a fully clothed woman with a nice silhouette and be good to go seconds later. That's just my anecdotal experience but I've always believed that male sexuality is a very base sort of drive.

I agree there are differences, I just don’t think they are as much as we have been taught to believe. During puberty it was the exact same for me. I learned to control and be more discriminating as I matured. For women it’s the fantasy too but they use their imagination with erotica more, as that’s where it was more acceptable. No one blinks an eye if I’m reading racy books but everyone loses their shi* if I have Hustler out. Societal pressures and acceptance have far more impact than we have ever really acknowledged.

 

[USER_ERROR]

The pill was not as reliable. The 70’s a woman couldn’t even get a credit card on her own. Women were still expected to marry and be moms. Today is vastly different socially with all types of sexual expression being much more acceptable than even in the 70’s. I remember the single mom that all the adults shunned on our block. That was 1974. It was a “ disgrace” that she was divorced and worse she let her boyfriend sleep over! I may have only been 6 but little ears hear everything at the block parties.
There is also the safety factor. I wouldn’t go anywhere alone with a complete stranger , even if I desperately wanted sex from him. Hell, I wouldn’t open my door to a man I don’t know.

There are other ways to measure the difference as well, one is to look at the behavior of people who, for one reason or another, have relatively few constraints when it comes to getting the kinds of sexual relationships they want. Gay men and lesbians are one such group. In the relationship arena, gay men don’t have to compromise with women, and lesbians don’t have to compromise with men. As such, their sexual behavior gives us a clear window on the sexual inclinations of men and women in general. And their behaviors confirm with the studies, gay men have more sexual partners than straight men, whereas lesbians have fewer partners than straight women. And this hold true to this day.

Although there might be some sexual double standard men’s stronger interest in casual sex and sexual novelty has still survived society’s best efforts to eradicate it. It has survived the efforts of parents, partners, and moralists to inculcate men with a healthy respect for monogamy. It has survived Christian moral teachings and threats of eternal damnation. It has survived cultural and legal institutions that endorse and incentivize lifelong monogamous marriage. It has survived worries that one might lose one’s marriage, one’s children, or even one’s livelihood over an adulterous affair that won’t stay hidden. And it has survived pop psychological attempts to stigmatize men’s desire for casual sex by blaming it on psychosocial immaturity, psychological maladjustment, repressed homosexuality, low self-esteem, fear of commitment, a Peter Pan syndrome, etc.

Meanwhile, women’s greater reticence about casual sex has survived the efforts of some feminists and other thought leaders to persuade women to cast off the shackles of patriarchy and match men in the casual sex arena. All this suggests that, rather than being a product of culture, the sex difference in attitudes to casual sex often emerges in spite of culture.

 

[usedtobehismermaid]

Is she seeing a therapist as well? Does she have support? I’m 5 years into my husband working recovery, I still get angry. Because this is worse than if you died. If you died she could grieve, remember good times fondly. Believe she was deeply wanted and loved. With this, you grieve the loss but you honestly feel like everything was a lie- every happy moment, every “I love you, or you’re beautiful” has now become a lie. You no longer feel like you even mattered. So, the longer you lied, the harder it is. Get Worthy of Her trust, and Helping Her Heal. Both are great to go through with her! It gets easier if you are honest, but it takes a lot of work and time.

I just said this a few days ago. I told my husband it's like he died, but dying would have been better because I would have the fond memories. Now I am questioning everything...like the nights I was in the hospital in premature labor 20 years ago for a month, and he had the computer hooked up to dial up...was it porn?

 

[used19]

I just said this a few days ago. I told my husband it's like he died, but dying would have been better because I would have the fond memories. Now I am questioning everything...like the nights I was in the hospital in premature labor 20 years ago for a month, and he had the computer hooked up to dial up...was it porn?

It’s hard isn’t it? I’ve found I can’t even look at photos from the years he was using because now I can SEE it. He looks vacant and either like he is high or came off a high. I could never see it then but I can now. Even photos where he’s playing with one of our children, he looks dead inside. The difference in photos of him now vs then are actually kind of terrifying. I was working this week on renewing our passports and had to get new photos. I went to compare his new one to the old to make sure everything was ok with size and lighting and I had an instant trauma response because it was from the height of his addiction and the image is staring straight at you. Just a visceral, trauma reaction to seeing that face looking at me again. Solidified for me he’s got one chance with me, if he goes back ever, I’m gone.

 

[usedtobehismermaid]

It’s hard isn’t it? I’ve found I can’t even look at photos from the years he was using because now I can SEE it. He looks vacant and either like he is high or came off a high. I could never see it then but I can now. Even photos where he’s playing with one of our children, he looks dead inside. The difference in photos of him now vs then are actually kind of terrifying. I was working this week on renewing our passports and had to get new photos. I went to compare his new one to the old to make sure everything was ok with size and lighting and I had an instant trauma response because it was from the height of his addiction and the image is staring straight at you. Just a visceral, trauma reaction to seeing that face looking at me again. Solidified for me he’s got one chance with me, if he goes back ever, I’m gone.

Wow, I was just talking on the phone with him, and I was telling him how my mental illness and not wanting to live started when he started watching porn. I told him how that was also when he started looking miserable in all of our photos, that was when he started being really irritable, cranky and sometimes angry. It was there in his face all along. I really thought we were both just reacting to the stress of Covid. I blamed it on my mom and sis dying and the stress of Covid, also I had a total hysterectomy due to Ovarian cancer, and lost all of my hormones. I was blaming it on the loss of the hormones, but all along it was because he was betraying me. And it wasn't the first time I was betrayed. The hidden porn 31 years ago, also ex girlfriends that he lied about, telling me were just friends, that kept calling the house long after I had moved in. Past betrayals that we never dealt with. It is all coming back to me now.

 

[used19]

Wow, I was just talking on the phone with him, and I was telling him how my mental illness and not wanting to live started when he started watching porn. I told him how that was also when he started looking miserable in all of our photos, that was when he started being really irritable, cranky and sometimes angry. It was there in his face all along. I really thought we were both just reacting to the stress of Covid. I blamed it on my mom and sis dying and the stress of Covid, also I had a total hysterectomy due to Ovarian cancer, and lost all of my hormones. I was blaming it on the loss of the hormones, but all along it was because he was betraying me. And it wasn't the first time I was betrayed. The hidden porn 31 years ago, also ex girlfriends that he lied about, telling me were just friends, that kept calling the house long after I had moved in. Past betrayals that we never dealt with. It is all coming back to me now.

There are many of us who can look back to times where we were not happy or not attracted to our spouses and we could not figure out why. Our intuition was firing that something wasn’t right, but as much as we looked around we couldn’t find it. We were assuming that there were no lies, nothing hidden, so when we couldn’t find anything, then it must of been us that was wrong or had the problem. In my case, I could not stand it when he touched me and tried to make a move most of the time. I just didn’t want to be with him and I could not figure out why. I even started to question if maybe I was not straight because I felt no attraction to him any more. I was miserable and kept looking up plane tickets to leave and almost did - and this was even before I found out! I feel a little relieved that I was not crazy - I was in fact picking up on something I just didn’t know what.

I’m sure that some of what I felt was also some of life going on - I was having babies and other stressors, but the parts I could not find a reason for, the things that involved interacting with him, I can directly tie to his timeline. It has been helpful for me to make those connections so that I can relieve myself from having felt crazy. And it has been helpful for him to see as well because he thought he had his problem compartmentalized away. He thought that all of it stayed in the room where he acted out and at that time. But many addicts do not realize that it follows them, it alters their brains, it causes them to treat others differently and it alters their mood for the worse when away from it. The irritability, short temper, brain fog, etc. Then there is all the work they have to do to keep their addiction hidden - the lies, the hiding, etc. Like any addiction, it’s just not possible that it doesn’t seep out everywhere and cause problems. If he’s going to make progress on this in the long term, he will eventually need to see the entire picture of what the reality actually was. And he needs to see the world that you lived because he had all the information and you did not. Now your entire life, your past, present and future are all altered, all mixed up, nothing makes sense anymore.

 

[Sad_wife]

when you come right down to it the goal of sexual attraction is just to spread your genes, for a male the best way to go about this is simply to mate with as many females as possible, you wouldn’t be able to help care for them all and they might not all make it to adulthood but some surely would, and more than likely you’d end up with more kids if you took this approach than if you limited myself to just one woman, at the very least, you shouldn’t be too picky about you mate. After all, if you have a fling with a suboptimal partner, it’s no big deal – it costs you little and you’re back on the market again almost immediately.

For a female however, the minimum reproductive cost right of the bat is 9 month regardless of the quality of your mate – and if you decide to keep the kid, several more years after that, and having more mate does not increase your reproductive ability, there may be some benefits to having multiple partners. But nine times out of ten you’d be better off if you held out for a super-fit guy who’d give you super-fit kids, or a good provider who’d help you look after the kids – or if possible, a guy who’d do both. At the very least, you should keep well away from any man who clearly doesn’t measure up.

This is a simplification but given the difference in reproductive cost alone it is no surprise that men have much lower standards, more interest in casual sex and put far more stock on just looks which to their ape-brain translate to fertile; on the contrary, it’d be surprising if they weren’t.

In one of the most famous studies in all of psychology(Clark and Hatfield, Gender Differences in Receptivity to Sexual Offers), researchers had a team of young men and women approach members of the other sex on a busy campus and offer them sex, they asked three questions (one per approach): (1) “Would you go out with me tonight?”; (2) “Would you come over to my apartment tonight?”; or (3) “Would you go to bed with me tonight?”.

For the first question (“Would you go out with me?”), there was no sex difference; around half the men and half the women said yes while the other half demurred. For the second question (“Would you come over to my apartment?”), a large sex difference opened up: 69 percent of men said yes, as opposed to just 6 percent of women. But for the last question (“Would you go to bed with me?”), 75 percent of men said yes as opposed to 0 percent of women.”

Not only did more women than men turn down the kind offer of sex, among those who did, there was a striking sex difference in the manner of the refusal. Most of the men were apologetic, explaining that they were married or had a prior engagement, and in some cases asking if they could get a rain check. The women, in contrast, were not apologetic. Typical responses included “You’ve got to be kidding” and “What’s wrong with you?” None of the men asked what was wrong with the woman offering him sex.

This study was conducted in the United States in the late 1970s, at the height of the Sexual Revolution and before the AIDS crisis.

There are arguments for and against “Spread your seed” theories.

The one thing I can’t get past an is evident as P use goes up as well as the spike in infidelity, higher statistics on loosing attraction to your partner, less satisfaction from sex in general, all time high divorce rates and people (male and female) loosing interest in actuality procreating. These all correlate. And the issue is not just P but M. Just hear me out on this. Our brains are specifically wired and triggered by real sex with a partner to release slow burn chemical cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. All three working together create a bond. This bond strengthens love, creates satisfaction, safety and a fulfilling happiness. Triggering nurturing from females and protection from males. These hormones are evidence that man like many other species are monogamous. The chase effect “spread your seed” comes from an imbalance of these hormones. Once we M we start the chase effect. P or no P. The spike for men is higher in dopamine then females so it appears as tho they need multi partners or gives the illusion that the multi partner effect is true. In both male and female tho this high dopamine without the other hormones to balance and the solo act enforcing a non connection. Meaning your brain becomes less connected to the people around us. And the cycle begins. Because all acts that casue a dopamine spike without other balancing hormones react differently in the brain. Hollow unfulfilling. But there was a spike that feels good and the chase begins but can never be satisfied. Such habits as empty, unhealthy and non nutritious to our mind body and soul. Brain scans show these effects. Same as sugar, heroin cocaine or any other addictive habit. But you scan the brain of a healthy eater, with healthy habits and all is fine. See M causes a spike too with no other hormones to balance. When these spike happen it lowers impulse control. We need impulse control to function at out best. The mere fact that some men saw the great kings or Pharaohs with harems was an influence. And sexuality and sex positivity have alway been given an argument that got stronger over time. As we want excuses to get our dopamine fix this was easy to accept and adapt. As playboy rose up making masterbation highly acceptable and even a status symbol/glamorous thing. So did the rise of chasing. More men stays single or bachelor status. And the problem just got worse and worse. Look at the stat of things. Look at just how separated and apathetic our society has become. All of this acceptance of this false narrative has nothing but brought misery down on us as a whole. M without P still causes all sorts of harm to the body. Partner or no. You cannot deny that. It’s the high that comes with it that tricks you into believing this. Our brain without M is healthy and monogamous. That’s fact. We are supposed to protect our family unit. Not populate. And because M is so accepted people unknowingly imbalancing the natural order they don’t have a care or urge to make a family. The problem is both male and female. No doubt in my mind.

why is purity so alluring to males? Same answer. And the pheromones given off by pure females is different. Much stronger and more alluring. A female that doesn’t M has a much stronger appeal as well. This is to insure bonding. It’s all connected.

 

[Warfman]

There are arguments for and against “Spread your seed” theories.

The one thing I can’t get past an is evident as P use goes up as well as the spike in infidelity, higher statistics on loosing attraction to your partner, less satisfaction from sex in general, all time high divorce rates and people (male and female) loosing interest in actuality procreating. These all correlate. And the issue is not just P but M. Just hear me out on this. Our brains are specifically wired and triggered by real sex with a partner to release slow burn chemical cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. All three working together create a bond. This bond strengthens love, creates satisfaction, safety and a fulfilling happiness. Triggering nurturing from females and protection from males. These hormones are evidence that man like many other species are monogamous. The chase effect “spread your seed” comes from an imbalance of these hormones. Once we M we start the chase effect. P or no P. The spike for men is higher in dopamine then females so it appears as tho they need multi partners or gives the illusion that the multi partner effect is true. In both male and female tho this high dopamine without the other hormones to balance and the solo act enforcing a non connection. Meaning your brain becomes less connected to the people around us. And the cycle begins. Because all acts that casue a dopamine spike without other balancing hormones react differently in the brain. Hollow unfulfilling. But there was a spike that feels good and the chase begins but can never be satisfied. Such habits as empty, unhealthy and non nutritious to our mind body and soul. Brain scans show these effects. Same as sugar, heroin cocaine or any other addictive habit. But you scan the brain of a healthy eater, with healthy habits and all is fine. See M causes a spike too with no other hormones to balance. When these spike happen it lowers impulse control. We need impulse control to function at out best. The mere fact that some men saw the great kings or Pharaohs with harems was an influence. And sexuality and sex positivity have alway been given an argument that got stronger over time. As we want excuses to get our dopamine fix this was easy to accept and adapt. As playboy rose up making masterbation highly acceptable and even a status symbol/glamorous thing. So did the rise of chasing. More men stays single or bachelor status. And the problem just got worse and worse. Look at the stat of things. Look at just how separated and apathetic our society has become. All of this acceptance of this false narrative has nothing but brought misery down on us as a whole. M without P still causes all sorts of harm to the body. Partner or no. You cannot deny that. It’s the high that comes with it that tricks you into believing this. Our brain without M is healthy and monogamous. That’s fact. We are supposed to protect our family unit. Not populate. And because M is so accepted people unknowingly imbalancing the natural order they don’t have a care or urge to make a family. The problem is both male and female. No doubt in my mind.

why is purity so alluring to males? Same answer. And the pheromones given off by pure females is different. Much stronger and more alluring. A female that doesn’t M has a much stronger appeal as well. This is to insure bonding. It’s all connected.

Your post reminds me of something I've always taken issue with. Which is the Coolidge effect. I've never read the literature around the study that was done with rams, but the explanation makes zero sense. I work with thousands of animals, not rams specifically.. but other ruminating animals like cattle, and also horses. Cattle do not "procreate" or have "sex" with a female that isn't presenting "estrous", which is when they are in their fertile stage. Once they aren't in "estrous". Bulls don't mount those cows. It just doesn't happen. So this study, on "procreating" time and time again is ridiculous, unless some sort of method was used to keep pregnancy from happening so that the female was in estrous every time she was placed with the male. And even if that was true, they would have to wait 21 to 28 days for the female to cycle Adam. No idea on the details of the study on all that, but the whole thing is silly IMO.

It also misses a main point that you are pointing out about connection, taking the brain chemistry part and adding too it. Humans are emotional relationship driven beings. We thrive on interpersonal relationship. Emotional and spiritual relationship is so vital, and the absence of it directly affects the physical.

 

[Psalm27:1my light]

Your post reminds me of something I've always taken issue with. Which is the Coolidge effect. I've never read the literature around the study that was done with rams, but the explanation makes zero sense. I work with thousands of animals, not rams specifically.. but other ruminating animals like cattle, and also horses. Cattle do not "procreate" or have "sex" with a female that isn't presenting "estrous", which is when they are in their fertile stage. Once they aren't in "estrous". Bulls don't mount those cows. It just doesn't happen. So this study, on "procreating time and time again is ridiculous, unless some sort of method was used to keep pregnancy from happening so that the female was in estrous every time she was placed with the male. No idea on the details, but the whole thing is silly IMO.

It misses a main point that you are pointing out about connection, taking the brain chemistry part and adding too it. Humans are emotional relationship driven beings. We thrive on interpersonal relationship. Emotional and spiritual relationship is so vital, and the absence of it directly affects the physical.

I pointed out my animals have more self control than we ask of men. My horses don’t breed for a year + and they are taught not to breed a mare in season unless given permission. Same with my dogs. They can’t be breeding everything while showing. My older mares even correct the stallion if he shows interest in a younger female.

 

[Sad_wife]

Your post reminds me of something I've always taken issue with. Which is the Coolidge effect. I've never read the literature around the study that was done with rams, but the explanation makes zero sense. I work with thousands of animals, not rams specifically.. but other ruminating animals like cattle, and also horses. Cattle do not "procreate" or have "sex" with a female that isn't presenting "estrous", which is when they are in their fertile stage. Once they aren't in "estrous". Bulls don't mount those cows. It just doesn't happen. So this study, on "procreating" time and time again is ridiculous, unless some sort of method was used to keep pregnancy from happening so that the female was in estrous every time she was placed with the male. And even if that was true, they would have to wait 21 to 28 days for the female to cycle Adam. No idea on the details of the study on all that, but the whole thing is silly IMO.

It also misses a main point that you are pointing out about connection, taking the brain chemistry part and adding too it. Humans are emotional relationship driven beings. We thrive on interpersonal relationship. Emotional and spiritual relationship is so vital, and the absence of it directly affects the physical.

I pointed out my animals have more self control than we ask of men. My horses don’t breed for a year + and they are taught not to breed a mare in season unless given permission. Same with my dogs. They can’t be breeding everything while showing. My older mares even correct the stallion if he shows interest in a younger female.

yes. These are both excellent points.