Need advice on how to help my Father with his health.

About four years ago my father was in a bad accident and fell really bad on his head. He is got some brain damage, and his cognitive abilities have declined a bit. His doctor just prescribes medication, (A lot) to deal with his depression and everything. I personally wish he wasn't on so many medications and wish I had my old dad back. He eats a lot of food, and sit and watches a lot of television. He has gained quite a bit of weight, and he never gets out of the house. I recently got some applications to volunteer at a local organization that helps out the homeless and such; which I am hoping he takes it seriously. His health was already pretty bad with a heart condition, but I'm afraid that he is not helping his case eating constantly; lot of carb heavy foods. I love my dad, and he is definitely changed. I'm afraid to admit that he most likely doesn't have a lot of time, and being his youngest son I feel as if my time with him is short. It is kind of messed up to say but this is what I truly feel. I bought a bike, and also one for my dad, but he has never gotten around to taking it with me. I'm hoping that in the spring he will change his mind. We have a dog which I walk 3 times a day, and every time I go I ask him if he would like to go, and he declines. He finds it hard to remember a lot of things, and is kind of handicapped to some small degree. I would love advice from people who have had similar experiences, or any advice. Sometimes when I see him I get a deep sadness of what happened, and it makes it hard to deal with some times.

 

Yes, he enjoys doing yard work outside, as we as riding his motor cycle, but ever since his accident, he hasn't ridden his bike. I recently bought my own motor cycle, and working on getting my licence so we can ride together. I do watch tv from time to time with him, but he only really likes watching news. Part of me thinks its the only connection to whats going on outside our house and he doesnt want to feel out of the know. Im not sure... but yeah, the last thing id want is him to my pet project haha. I just wanna see him live his life to the fullest. Just suck that we are snowed right now :/

 

You got it all wrong, he can't because he is unable to work. He constantly forget things because of his short term memory loss. If it was as easy as you said, I would have not posted. He wont change just because I told him he needs to do a complete 180. I came here to ask on how other people would deal with my situation. You just came here and told me everything I already know, but this is not about me. Its about helping me with my father.

 

Hi, thank you so much for sharing. It is heart warming to see how much you are concerned for your father. I hope you and your father will have many more years together.

You might get something out of taking a look at Dr. Jason Fung's work on fasting. You can find him on YouTube. Also take a look at this video by Dr. Pradap Jamndas. Fasting is a great way to deal lose weight, deal with any inflammatory issues, and it has even been shown to reverse cognitive decline as well. Both these doctors suggest just eating one meal a day. Also cutting out sugar, refined wheat products and polyunsaturated fat vegetable oils (PUFAs).

I know it can be hard convincing someone who is set in their ways to change their eating habits... but maybe you could watch some videos together about this, and then the idea will be in your father's head and he may want to make the changes himself. It's important to approach the idea of change with love and understanding, not a "I know better than you" attitude but a loving "I just want whats best for you" approach. From what you wrote I already feel like you aren't acting out of the first approach, but your father needs to understand that as well. Like InnerMan said, it needs to come from him, not from you.

The most important thing though is just to be there for him and let him know that whatever he is going through, you are right there with him. Keep on suggesting things to him and, when he refuses, don't get upset. Allow him to be who he is right now. The more he feels comfortable with you and the more he feels like you aren't asking him to be anything more than he is right now, the more he will open up and start to take interest in things other than the news. So just be a good son, the best son you can be.

Wishing the best for you and your father!

 

Thanks for the advice!
One thing I'd comment on what you said regarding watching videos of eatting better, is my mother cooks a lot of comfort high carb foods on a daily basis. I guess one way of dealing with his weight would be to work with my mother on changing the diet in the house hold.

Thanks again, I'll give an update later on to tell of the progress.