Need Advice- PAWS, Extreme laziness, weed, depression

SamFischer

Fapstronaut
It's been about a year and half since I watched P. In that time, I've MOed less than 10 times. I've been attempting NoFap for a little over 3 years now. The first two years was very difficult, but I was doing more with my life then. I was actually going to the gym, eating healthier, and my apartment was relatively clean.

I started going through PAWS when I was several months into attempting nofap and it has been so hard. The first year or so of PAWS was BRUTAL. I was angry 90% of the time and I felt depressed and like I was losing my mind. I would wake up in the night and be unable to get back to sleep because I was so "worked up" by the things I couldn't let go of. I still feel like this, but it is a little better than it was. The worst about it all, is I've had this constant feeling of "dread" and "hopelessness." It seems like it will never end.

Around after a year of trying to get through hell (aka PAWS) I basically decided to just concentrate on never watching porn again and on nothing else. The past year has been spent doing basically nothing, as I just "sit around" waiting for PAWS to end. I knew that I would eventually have way more energy and wouldn't have to try so hard. I basically just smoke weed all day. I tell myself that I do it to feel better. My apartment is a complete mess. I spend very little time actually doing anything productive. I should also mention that I've had depression for almost 20 years and was a porn addict for that entire time. I don't work (I'm on disability/welfare,) but I hope to get better and get a good career someday. I think my porn addiction caused my depression.

The weed helped me cope, but now it's just depressing. I don't want to live like this anymore, but it's so hard. I'm having a really hard time and could really use some wisdom. Thanks
 
It sounds to me like you have made good progress quitting PMO. Now you need focus on quitting weed and finding new things to do spend your time on to become more productive.
 
It sounds to me like you have made good progress quitting PMO. Now you need focus on quitting weed and finding new things to do spend your time on to become more productive.

I have a really hard time finding things that I do enjoy doing. I was thinking about getting back into the gym, tho.
 
I have a really hard time finding things that I do enjoy doing. I was thinking about getting back into the gym, tho.
You might want to try dopamine fasting for a while so that normal activities start to become more pleasurable. Then also have to find a hobby that your interested and always wanted to learn and get better at. For example, learn how to code, start a project(like woodworking), take some free online courses, start applying for jobs everyday.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dopamine+fasting

Btw, I'd recommend going cold turkey on the weed, that has worked best for me.
 
Get a job, go to the gym, be a social creature, and stop hyper fixating on gaveling “paws”. Your brain is more powerful than you think you keep telling yourself you have something and it can appear out of thin air.
 
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