NoFap's Official Monthly Challenge Signups: PMO-Free July 2015

One day at a time MPC (as in the drum machine/sampler/sequencer thingy?)... I'll commit to doing today PMO free with you.

 

Sorry for, might be, silly question, but do I need to make a new counter for July nofap challenge?

 

Hey welcome back man

Mabye you should think about why it is you start feeling good about yourself at that point and thenif you identify what it is (maybe its being proud of your progress) then why not apply it right now:

E.g if it is because you become proud of reaching two weeks, why not become proud of reaching two days:

That's 48 hours - much longer than the billions of still-addicted people can go for.

Poet

 

Hey man,

Great job on reaching 2 weeks!

Yeah, I personally haven't experienced the flatline so I can't say, but I guess it can only be helpful in your progress.

Yeah man, I think the key though is to learn to be assertive when it's called for and receptive when it's called for - something I'm still working on.

Anyways, keep moving forward !

Poet

 

I really believe that this mental pain, in large part, is due to the binary system that seems to be the norm, for measuring success. I don't think there is anything wrong with a goal of "as long as I can go," or X days in a row. I totally support everyone on that, but I think we need to consider basic goal setting principles, in looking to improve ourselves. Imagine a coach that sets his goal, ahead of the season, as having a perfect record. What happens if his team loses the first game?

Goals must be SMART:

S - Specific. "Be better at swimming than everyone" is a terrible goal. "Win the 2016 Olympic gold medal in 200m backstroke" is an excellent goal.

M - Measurable. Pretty straight forward - "I want to feel good about myself, in general," isn't a very productive goal. "I don't want to have feelings of self-loathing for more than one day in a row for the next two weeks" would be a better version.

A - Attainable. This means that they are actually possible. So, "Become King of England is not attainable, because the law prohibits you from succeeding Queen Elizabeth, and the Kingdom of England hasn't existed for over 300 years. "Become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom" is attainable.

R - Realistic. This is to do with how likely it is that you can actually attain the goal. Becoming PM of the UK might be technically attainable, but it is probably not realistic.

T - Time Bound. You need a deadline, or you can't measure progress.

Time-bound and Realistic are where most of ours fall down. Those that are just trying to go on forever, well that's a great endeavour, but you need to set multiple goals and targets along the way. Succeeding at goals leads to succeeding at other, more challenging goals. So, you have to set yourself up for success. If you've never made it more than 8 days, then 30 days is not a realistic NEXT goal. Your next goal should be an incremental improvement. I would say, set your next goal at 10 days. You can probably make it more than that, so you've now set yourself to exceed expectations. Also, bind this goal by time, reasonably. "Have a NoFap streak of at least 10 days in July." Now, to keep from allowing yourself "permission" to relapse once you've made that 10 day streak, set a concurrent goal like "have a minimum of 24 fap-free days in July." This will help you build to the point of having a successful 90 day, or other more difficult, challenge. It also gives you something you are still working toward, if you fail at one thing. Here's a sample set of goals. It's probably more time than most people need to achieve this, but there is no rule against completing goals ahead of schedule! Remember, kids: under-promise, over-deliver!

MAIN GOAL: Go 365 days without PMO by the end of 2021.
SUB-GOALS, by Target Date

• July 31st, 2015
  • Go 5 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 10 PMO-free days in one month.
• August 31st, 2015
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month
• September 30th, 2015
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 18 PMO-free days in one month
• October 31st, 2015
  • Go 18 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days at least twice
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month
    
  • Have 10 PMO-free days in one month twice.
• November 30th, 2015
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in one month.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month twice
• December 31st, 2015
  • Go 23 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
    
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days twice.
• January 31st, 2015
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days four times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month three times.
• February 29th, 2016
  • Go 25 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days four times
• March 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
    
  • Go 28 consecutive PMO-free days.
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days five times.
• April 30th, 2016
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days six times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month four times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month twice.
• May 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days four times.
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days seven times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month five times.
    
  • Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days
• June 30th, 2016
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days eight times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month six times.
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days twice.
• July 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days nine times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in a month seven times.
• August 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days six times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month eight times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month three times.
• September 30th, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days seven times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month nine times.
    
  • Go 30 consecutive days without PMO.
• October 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days eight times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month four times.
• November 30th, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days nine times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month four times.
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days four times.
• December 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days ten times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month five times.
• January 31st, 2017
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days four times
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in one month twice.
• February 28th, 2017
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days 12 times
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month six times.
    
  • Go a calendar month PMO-free
• March 31st, 2017
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in month three times.
• April 30th, 2017
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days 13 times
    
  • Go 25 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month seven times
• May 31st, 2017
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days six times
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in one month four times
• June 30th, 2017
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month three times
• July 31st, 2017
  • Go 15-consecutive PMO-free days 15 times
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 10 times
    
  • Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
• December 31st, 2017
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 10 times
    
  • Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Go a calendar month PMO-free twice
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 13 times
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 10 times.
    
  • Have 300 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2018
  • Go 60 consecutive PMO free days.
    
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO free days three times.
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 15 times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 17 times.
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 13 times.
• December 31st, 2018
  • Go 75 consecutive PMO free days
    
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO free days five times
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 20 times
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 17 times
    
  • Have 325 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2019
  • Go 90 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO-free days eight times
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 22 times
• December 31st, 2019
  • Go 120 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 90 consecutive PMO-free days three times
    
  • Go 60 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 22 times
    
  • Have 345 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2020
  • Go 183 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 28 times
• December 31st 2020
  • Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 34 times
    
  • Have 355 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2021
  • Go 183 consecutive PMO-free days twice
• December 31st 2021
  • Go 365 consecutive PMO-free day

 

I would say only if you want to.

 

Thanks for the realistic goal advice. Once I've cut off access, 10 days in usually not too difficult, the 12-14 barrier is usually where the danger period is, so I'll start preparing to be busy around then.
Not sure if the crushed feeling after a relapse is a result of a failed goal, for me, the thought that my desires are more powerful than my self control, means I'm really a slave to them, and this will hold me back continually in life until I sort it out.
That's what gets me down, but after a week or so, I recover mentally from that and can move on. But the goal advice in principle is true, they have to be attainable otherwise it adds to disappointment.
Mpc, nothing to do with drum machines but good guess. It actually is pretty boring and just to do with my business name.

 

It doesn't help that you have nothing to say you've accomplished anything. Looking at your success rate over a month, even if you feel crushed, at least you'll be able to say "if I don't relapse again, I can still hit my 85% success rate goal for this month." Otherwise, what's to stop you from a 3-day long bender of a relapse?

 

OTE="AllanTheCowboy, post: 279475, member: 54153"]I really believe that this mental pain, in large part, is due to the binary system that seems to be the norm, for measuring success. I don't think there is anything wrong with a goal of "as long as I can go," or X days in a row. I totally support everyone on that, but I think we need to consider basic goal setting principles, in looking to improve ourselves. Imagine a coach that sets his goal, ahead of the season, as having a perfect record. What happens if his team loses the first game?

Goals must be SMART:

S - Specific. "Be better at swimming than everyone" is a terrible goal. "Win the 2016 Olympic gold medal in 200m backstroke" is an excellent goal.

M - Measurable. Pretty straight forward - "I want to feel good about myself, in general," isn't a very productive goal. "I don't want to have feelings of self-loathing for more than one day in a row for the next two weeks" would be a better version.

A - Attainable. This means that they are actually possible. So, "Become King of England is not attainable, because the law prohibits you from succeeding Queen Elizabeth, and the Kingdom of England hasn't existed for over 300 years. "Become Prime Minister of the United Kingdom" is attainable.

R - Realistic. This is to do with how likely it is that you can actually attain the goal. Becoming PM of the UK might be technically attainable, but it is probably not realistic.

T - Time Bound. You need a deadline, or you can't measure progress.

Time-bound and Realistic are where most of ours fall down. Those that are just trying to go on forever, well that's a great endeavour, but you need to set multiple goals and targets along the way. Succeeding at goals leads to succeeding at other, more challenging goals. So, you have to set yourself up for success. If you've never made it more than 8 days, then 30 days is not a realistic NEXT goal. Your next goal should be an incremental improvement. I would say, set your next goal at 10 days. You can probably make it more than that, so you've now set yourself to exceed expectations. Also, bind this goal by time, reasonably. "Have a NoFap streak of at least 10 days in July." Now, to keep from allowing yourself "permission" to relapse once you've made that 10 day streak, set a concurrent goal like "have a minimum of 24 fap-free days in July." This will help you build to the point of having a successful 90 day, or other more difficult, challenge. It also gives you something you are still working toward, if you fail at one thing. Here's a sample set of goals. It's probably more time than most people need to achieve this, but there is no rule against completing goals ahead of schedule! Remember, kids: under-promise, over-deliver!

MAIN GOAL: Go 365 days without PMO by the end of 2021.
SUB-GOALS, by Target Date

• July 31st, 2015
  • Go 5 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 10 PMO-free days in one month.
• August 31st, 2015
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month
• September 30th, 2015
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 18 PMO-free days in one month
• October 31st, 2015
  • Go 18 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days at least twice
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month
    
  • Have 10 PMO-free days in one month twice.
• November 30th, 2015
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in one month.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month twice
• December 31st, 2015
  • Go 23 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
    
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days twice.
• January 31st, 2015
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days four times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month three times.
• February 29th, 2016
  • Go 25 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days four times
• March 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
    
  • Go 28 consecutive PMO-free days.
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days five times.
• April 30th, 2016
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days six times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month four times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month twice.
• May 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days four times.
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days seven times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month five times.
    
  • Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days
• June 30th, 2016
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days eight times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month six times.
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days twice.
• July 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Go 10 consecutive PMO-free days nine times
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in a month seven times.
• August 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days six times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month eight times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month three times.
• September 30th, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days seven times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month nine times.
    
  • Go 30 consecutive days without PMO.
• October 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days eight times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month four times.
• November 30th, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days nine times.
    
  • Have 15 PMO-free days in one month four times.
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days four times.
• December 31st, 2016
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days ten times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month five times.
• January 31st, 2017
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days four times
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in one month twice.
• February 28th, 2017
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days 12 times
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month six times.
    
  • Go a calendar month PMO-free
• March 31st, 2017
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in month three times.
• April 30th, 2017
  • Go 15 consecutive PMO-free days 13 times
    
  • Go 25 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month seven times
• May 31st, 2017
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days six times
    
  • Have 23 PMO-free days in one month four times
• June 30th, 2017
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month three times
• July 31st, 2017
  • Go 15-consecutive PMO-free days 15 times
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 10 times
    
  • Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days three times.
• December 31st, 2017
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 10 times
    
  • Go 30 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Go a calendar month PMO-free twice
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 13 times
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 10 times.
    
  • Have 300 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2018
  • Go 60 consecutive PMO free days.
    
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO free days three times.
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 15 times.
    
  • Have 20 PMO-free days in one month 17 times.
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 13 times.
• December 31st, 2018
  • Go 75 consecutive PMO free days
    
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO free days five times
    
  • Go 20 consecutive PMO-free days 20 times
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 17 times
    
  • Have 325 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2019
  • Go 90 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 45 consecutive PMO-free days eight times
    
  • Have 25 PMO-free days in one month 22 times
• December 31st, 2019
  • Go 120 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Go 90 consecutive PMO-free days three times
    
  • Go 60 consecutive PMO-free days five times
    
  • Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 22 times
    
  • Have 345 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2020
  • Go 183 consecutive PMO-free days
    
  • Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 28 times
• December 31st 2020
  • Have 28 PMO-free days in one month 34 times
    
  • Have 355 PMO-free days in one year.
• June 30th, 2021
  • Go 183 consecutive PMO-free days twice
• December 31st 2021
  • Go 365 consecutive PMO-free day

[/QUOTE]

Wow. Just wow.

You sir, deserve a medal.

 

[QUOTE "The thought that my desires are more powerful than my self control, means I'm really a slave to them, and this will hold me back continually in life until I sort it out."]

well, if you manage to last a single day without pmo, doesnt that mean that your self-control is stronger than your desires?

Because if your desires were stronger than your willpower, you wouldn't even be able to last a single day, never mind 10 in a row!

 

Nah. But maybe, just maybe, I deserve for my wife to give me another chance

 

I've actually been waiting for this. I just haven't seen it. My goal is to last a week and then work my way up from there. I'm doing this because I'm sick of feeling like a loser and I just want my sexual organ back. I want to go hard mode. I'm going to challenge myself to make it 90+ days starting today, right now. Much love to you all wish everyone the best of luck including myself

 

Thank you for all that information, Allan, very cool.

Day 7 in the UK then. Feeling OK here. I've got some other health issues that are bringing me down a bit and have stopped me exercising. I really want to meditate today as I've let that slide too and I've got no excuse for that. I feel as if I'm doing pretty well in terms of urges to PMO and similar.

Hope everyone has good, clean days - one day at a time, we can do this!

 

Good luck, and I hope you can give your full 90! (Hope you're a soccer/football fan, or that's not nearly so funny). Just remember along the way, as you've said you've known all along, that there are multiple ways to measure success, and varying degrees of success.

 

Completed 90 days But still am in for the second '90 days round'.Am in HARDMODE JULY

 

Hard mode, I'm in.
Wanna prove that I control my body, not stupid urges.

 

I started

 

Boo! I relapsed. Chaser effect from sex this morning. Also I'm very worried about my health at the moment....

Those play into it, but they're no excuse - PMO doesn't address any of my health problems!

Often my relapses are binges, so far I've stayed clear of that this time, but I'm on my guard and hoping to push on again.

Take care chaps.

 

Count your success rate overall for the month - percent of days Fap Free - and that will help motivate you not to binge, but to get back on the horse!

 

lets go baby i m going to go without porn this whole month