Noticing my cycle of relapse, and what I'm trying to do to change it. (Write Yours!)

I've been trying NF since the beginning of August, and up until fairly recently I noticed the cycle I go through when I lead back to relapsing, either with MO or PMO. I notice that I go about 10 days without MO / PMO, then relapse with either just MO or PMO. If I use just MO, then the next time I do it is most likely with PMO.

Usually right after I MO/PMO, I write about it in my journal, and write new ways to change bad habits and seek out new ways to keep bad habits in check, like social media usage. Like enabling screen time on iPhone, disabling explicit media on Twitter, etc. Changing these behaviors is somewhat difficult in the beginning, but I notice I'm very committed to them and can stick to them for like 4-5 days. For the first 3-4 days, after an initial period of shame from MO or PMO, I'm extremely productive and generally feel really good. by day 4-6, I notice that I go back on some of those habit changes slightly. Maybe raise my limit on Twitter / Insta, notice that I disable these changes for "just 15 minutes", etc. Productivity starts to wane, and I become increasingly more idle, noticing I'm wasting more time on social media. By day 7 or 8 urges become more frequent and more difficult to manage, as I'm subconsciously exposing myself to more and more suggestive, or explicit material usually found on social media. Usually on these days I'm home alone on a day I don't have work. By this point I start rationalizing and start taking more and more steps towards the edge of the cliff. The last couple of times I've done this I usually MO w/o P first, because of rationalization of releasing energy, my age, it's natural, etc. The second time I usually just say fuck it and start using P because I figure I'm already in 6 feet in the hole so why not 7.

I'm on day 9 (not including today) since the last time I PMO'd. I had some really strong urges and went down some rabbit holes and was (or still am) really close to giving in to the urges. Here's what I've done / changed today to not stay in the same cycle.

• Notice I'm in a cycle and write about everything that's happening.
• Instead of rationalizing that you shouldn't fight the urges, fight the urges. The last couple of weeks I've avoided fighting the urges when they come on really hard. Notice how this hasn't worked and be aware that you want to break the cycle.
• Ask yourself "What am I doing right now" when you're down bad like that. Take deep breaths and really analyze what you're doing.
• Think about the type of person you are when you're looking / seeking out P. Is this you? Do you want to be this person?
• MOVE YOUR FUCKING PHONE SOMEWHERE ELSE. (Or move away from your computer if that's your poison.) For me, my phone is always the gateway to PMO. Physically move it in another room.
• Think about how last time you PMO'd, you wish you were at the day count you're at now. You may feel super tempted right now, but remember how shitty you felt after last time. You WISH you had a time machine because you know that only a few minutes ago, you internally felt better than you did now.
• Work / be in complete silence. No music, podcasts, no external stimuli that's distracting. Working in silence for me makes me way more productive then if I had music or podcasts on.
• Write about it somewhere. Your NF journal, physical journal, paper, anywhere. Make these thought in your head hold physical space somewhere, making them real.

What cycles do you guys find yourselves get into, and what have you been doing / have done to break your cycle? Thanks.