Observations on rebooting

Hi,
I had been a masturbation addict for 20 years and I had completely refrained from it for the past 3 years. I'm 36 now and it was a slow transition from daily to once a week , once a month and finally quitting. I used to have an excel calendar that records. Some of the tips I could give to newcomers I used to be very watchful of every lustful thought and when it would enter, I would become alert and watch it and say to muself "See how much badly it needs the dopamine, it wants the pleasure" and in very severe temptation scenarios, I write down my thoughts even the very subtle ones and was very aware of how the hormone flows, until it died down. Each person will be able to overcome in their own way, just that they need to have this will power.

I had always been a shy person throughout my life with social anxiety and occasional bouts of depression. What I had observed is that when since I had started practicing hard reboot, it didn't make me "superman" as many claimed, but it did give a rock solid foundation to stand on no matter how hard the situation was. Usually I would want to run away and I would keep on running without any hope. But after I quit, there was an unexplained courage with the frequent thought that I was able to get over a bad pattern of thought which had persisted in me for over 20 years.In other words, earlier I was running away, and after I got rid of the habit I was able to face it and it didnt make me more intelligent or more charming, but provided more courage(which usually makes all the difference)

During the initial days, O thought I had enough of this and my thoughts were to get rid of any sexual thoughts completely and that was the golden period in my life for about 1 and a half years or so. I didnt even have sex with my wife, but I explained and she understood , it was easy in that case as she no interested in sex either. On very rare occasions I used to watch a sex scene or edged but was able to get back again.I still had the fear when I had to take a presentation and had the anxiety when I had to charter into unknown territory, but all the time footed on solid ground.

For the past 1 and a half years, I got settled and there were not much of challenging situations and got into my comfort zone and slowly the urges of having sex with women and browsing for facebook hotties became more frequent. Looking back now, I'm thinking that somewhere along the way complacency set in and I let my guard down. I started edging again and the will power slowly deteriorated and I can see me slowly running away and succumbing to the old thoughts.

I'm training my thoughts again and frequent visits to sites like these always helps.

I have a couple of questions, why is it that it it works only if we completely abolish sexual thoughts? Is it because of the guilt associated that I am doing something wrong if I think lustful thoughts about someone other than my wife?
Is this the case for everyone or is it only for a select few whose brain are wired like this? I see a lot of infidel people living courageously.

Thanks.


































































































































+++++++++++ven looking at girls or women, I had such tremendous will power that I completely w