Someone noted that my giving thanks (June 6th) solution was not a surefire cure for depression. That is a fact despite the fact that it helps and is a really good practice. But the truth is that a full cure takes a lot of work. To fight depression look for articles on NoFap about new ways to think. About new activities, positive addictions, being filled with the Holy Spirit, prayer, emotions, “The Light,” and joy. I have a hundred old articles in the Christian section. Some of these types of articles are filled with tips for overcoming depression. So the key to overcoming it is to have organized, available, and at your fingertips... some of those ideas that you are working on. In real life, if you add giving thanks and praising Jesus to a list of 10 things you are working on from those old articles, you will really have something.
We search and chase for pleasure thinking that it has some answers. We think increased pleasure will lead to happiness. Instead, pleasure in excess always ends badly. Bibleask.org noted the following: “Solomon the wise wrote, “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Solomon stated his experience with the material things of life: “I said in my heart, “Come now…therefore enjoy pleasure”; but surely, this also was vanity… I made my works great, I built myself houses, and planted myself vineyards. I made myself gardens and orchards… I made myself water pools… I acquired male and female servants… Yes, I had greater possessions of herds and flocks than all who were in Jerusalem before me. I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the special treasures of kings and of the provinces…” “So I became great and excelled more than all who were before me in Jerusalem… Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure…Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done… And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:1-11). By the word vanity, Solomon tried to show that external experiences cannot fulfill the inner hungers of the heart. Material blessings, do not grant true happiness. A sincere approach to God is not made through the external senses, but through an inner relationship with Him. For God is spirit (John 4:24), and must, therefore, be approached by man’s mind not senses. Only in such a relationship can man find fulfillment and joy. The word vanity is used also of “idols” as things vain and without value, and of their worship (2 Kings 17:15; Jeremiah 2:5; 10:8). Some say that in Ecclesiastes there is not a word against idolatry, yet the word vanity in there is one commonly used of idols and their worship. Solomon stressed that anything man may strive for instead of his Creator and listening to Him is “vanity.” The Whole Duty of Man Therefore, Solomon concluded, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13,14). Thus, anything man may seek in place of God and obedience to Him is “vanity.” Doing God's will leads to purpose and joy. Chasing anything else is just like chasing the wind. Pray: “Father, take away my love of pleasure and help me to love Your will.”
Horatio Spafford wrote the famous hymn, “It is well with my soul,” after he heard the news that his four daughters had died in a transatlantic voyage. I tell people incessantly to read the Bible, pray, run from sin, and study ways to quit. Why? Because I want you to know this huge powerful God that Horatio knew. I am having a really bad day. Wouldn't it be nice if I had a huge powerful God like Horatio had? Oh wait... it is the same God. But, based on my reactions to disasters in the past, I just don't know Him the way Horatio did. Because of Horatio's massive faith, hundreds of millions of people have been helped after hearing his words. Most of us would be shocked if we knew what God would do if we had faith like that. Today, I am going to believe in that huge powerful God that Horatio believed in. I am going to go forward, trying to live in God's will. I bet Horatio practiced the fundamentals of Christianity. Because of that, he was ready for disaster. And obviously, he continued to follow God's will in the disaster. Because of that, he will always be a hero, helping others for the remainder of history. Today, read the Bible, pray, turn from sin, and study how to quit. Why? Because then you will know this huge, powerful God that Horatio knew.
George's life was spiraling downward so he went to the sand dunes to contemplate how to avoid destruction in the future. While striding up the dunes he paused to look at beautiful lake Michigan, sparkly, clear, and blue. Then he noticed a man passing him. He had on a t-shirt that said, “The Answer” on the back. “How you doing, the man said with a smile?” “Okay... so tell me, what is the answer?” The man looked at George, his eyes conveyed a spirit of wisdom. He said, “Most people chase pleasure, and gain. The Bible tells us to pursue purpose and purity.” “How would I start doing that,” George asked. “Attack sin systematically. Biblical Paul was not perfect, but he always attacked sin.” “I could never be perfect,” George said. “Neither could Paul, but he always repented quickly. He always had a plan for how he would change. He knew that purity was the answer.” “Oh, so he planned better and tried harder.” “Right, and he knew the scripture. He knew what he what striving for was right and great.” “Yeah, I am always confused about everything.” “For me, if the Bible says to do it that way, I believe it, try to do it, and think that it will make my life great.” “Well... I try to do Christian things sometimes and my life is not great.” “Here's a tip. The answer is to get rid of the sometimes in that sentence and to believe the Bible until it starts a fire burning in your soul. Paul had this huge fire burning, and that is why he knew what he knew. That is why he attacked sin.” “So, if I do that I can have a great life?” “One last thing. Always pray and ask the Holy Spirit what to do. Paul always tried to help others, to shine the light of Jesus wherever he went.” “I am no good at that type of thing.” “Jesus picked the 12 disciples mostly from fishermen. He wanted people who would try, not those with a religious degree.” “I am willing to try.” “Then you have everything you need to find the answer.” To buy my book with stories on quitting click https://amzn.to/3Okh5kO. All proceeds go to this ministry.
One week after his sand dunes trip ended, George called Charlie, the man he met at the dunes. “George, how are you, charlie asked?” “I'm okay. I've been trying to do what you told me, but it's not working. I've been trying to attack sin, but my lust addiction always gets me.” “The key to overcoming is to find out where the breakdown is. To do: Firstly, we should read the Bible daily. A chapter in the Old and a chapter in the New Testament. Even better, we should study God's commandments. A Google search will bring up a list for you. Better yet, we should meditate over and work on commands that we struggle with. Still better, we should memorize and pray over the specific verses that give us insight into our struggle. Firstly, we need to know where the breakdown is because the Bible says that satan takes strongholds in our minds. He has taken over a portion of our thinking. With his stronghold, he keeps the power to consistently fill our minds with lust. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 ESV For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Now, we need to take that stronghold back. Let's look at the “to do” paragraph. Some people read the Bible a bit, others memorize and pray over specific scriptures. But if we want to take the stronghold back it is important to do everything on that “to do” list. Here is why. Let's just say that we both read the Bible and start to memorize the verses for quitting. But... we notice that every time we get drunk, or greedy, or covetous – you name the sin that starts you on a slippery path. Every time we fall into any habitual sin we fall back into the lust habit. In that case, we were sloppy with other commandments. We agreed with God that the lust sin would destroy us, but we decided that the other ones would not. God said they will, but, just like Adam and Eve, for a minute, we think we know better. Memorize the Adam and Eve story. They gave up everything for a stinking Apple. If I will give up everything for greed, or if Bill gives up everything for partying, or if Alice will give up everything for things. If we give up everything, then, we need something sinful to replace our emptiness. Or... we can agree with God that doing things His way will start to lead to a great life. Here are a couple of prayers that you could consider praying a few times per day: Pray: “Father, show me why these other sins are so problematic.” Pray: “Father, I agree with You. Please help me.” Secondly, the to-do list will take a lot of time and effort. But... if you do the “to-do” list, you now are starting to write a new ending to your very own Adam and Eve story. Now, you are rapidly breaking down satan's stronghold. Now, your story starts to include, blessings, purpose, and the start of a great joy. And... your takeover and take-back will increase in success.
Two days later, George called Charlie, the man he met at the dunes. “George, how are you, Charlie asked?” “I'm great. I've been trying to do what you told me, it's something I really want. But, the reason for my call is that I told my best buddy about the “to-do” list and he found it very overwhelming. Talk to me a little bit about that.” “I have two stories for you. The first one is the famous story of jungle hunters who set traps for monkeys. They would make traps where the opening was just big enough for the monkey's hand. Then they would place a shiny object in the trap. The monkeys would reach in, but once they grabbed the object, their hand was too big to pull back out. Even when the hunters were coming to kill them, they still knew they wanted that shiny object more than anything. They refused to let go and the hunters got them. Consider praying: “Father, help me not to overvalue pleasure and not to overvalue ______.” Most of us have about four blanks we need to fill in. The “to-do” list is overwhelming... unless we let go of those shiny objects we value so highly. The second story: I was speaking at a small church about overcoming addictions. I gave everyone a one-page handout of the main points. The group was so lively and enthusiastic, I loved it. When I finished a lady walked up to me and said, “Can I have your notes.” “I have more handouts, do you need one,” I said. “No, I need all your notes.” “But, this is my copy that I use for these talks.” “You have other notes, and you have other notes in your computer.” Now, the truth was... I didn't have this exact message saved. Sure I had these notes scattered here and there in my computer, but – wow. She stared at me and said, “I need your notes.” I gave her my notes. Obviously, she had a son or daughter on drugs or something like that. And she did not want some random one-page handout. She wanted, “All the notes.” Other people got a few good tips, she got all the notes. And if anyone who got information from that meeting quit for good, I bet it was her kid. She wanted it. Nothing was going to stop her from getting it.
Volleyball is very up and down. My daughter's traveling season ended poorly, with her coach giving her less and less playing time. I asked her what her plans were and she said she planned to keep playing. I was worried because high school season starts next and the players are really good. To prepare, I told her to work on squats, throws, and several other things. Yesterday, I went to her first high school scrimmage. I was disappointed, but not surprised when she was not one of the starters – she was struggling in the last two tournaments that I saw her in. But, after a few minutes in she went. Much to my relief, she played well. The coach started pulling other girls out for subs, but she kept her in. She started the next match and stayed in the whole time. I sat there pleased and baffled about how well she was now playing. But, then it hit me. Her older sister recently moved in with us and had been dragging her to sand volleyball for three hours every night all month. Additionally, she was doing everything I told her to do to prepare for the season. Suddenly I realized that she was doing everything she could do to win – a ton of squats, toe raises, throws, running, and sprinting. Day in and day out she was doing everything she knew how to do, to be ready for the test. But then... the miracle happened. Her sister had dragged her to play with expert players in sand volleyball. She had been transformed by those matches from being the most confused person on the court a few weeks earlier to someone who knew exactly what was going on. Now she was stronger, smarter, and quicker. She did everything she knew to do, and then... somehow she got her miracle and now knows exactly how to do it. Food for thought.
Michael Hardiman says in his book Overcoming Addiction that “Sex addiction is a compulsively driven need to use sex to relieve the addict's sense of inner emptiness or to alleviate feelings of anxiety or distress. As the feelings of emptiness increase, the person tries harder to fill it with what is actually causing the emptiness, leading to the futile cycle that seems to be a central element in all addiction, namely, using something to meet one's needs that can't really meet those needs, and that damages the person in the process.” A lot of people who read my articles think, boy, this is a lot of change. But we always underestimate the destruction of lust and overestimate the pleasure of it. To me... no one can spend too much time trying to reverse what that last sentence says. Consider praying: “Father, help me to focus on Your will so that I can have a great year.” Consider setting a goal of having 200 great days over the next 365 days. This is a very reasonable goal for someone who decides to fight sin. Instead of saying, “this is a lot of change,” focus on the great life that you can have. The amount of time that you are willing to fight against lust on your worst days determines your odds of having a whole lot of great days. For the original article click https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/the-root-cause.326303/
Yesterday I wrote to fight through today so that you improve your chances of having a lot of great days this year. The million-dollar question is... does anyone have that many great days? Here is a story. Billy was spiraling downward. His porn and other vices were causing huge problems. He had a week's vacation coming, and he saw an ad for an authentic Holiness experience. He signed up because he had had a holiness friend as a kid. That kid always seemed to be happy. On his arrival day, they served a hearty meal of Scrapple, which was a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal, wheat flour, and spices. The mush is formed into a semi-solid congealed loaf, and slices of the scrapple are then pan-fried before serving. Delicious. The next morning they were up at the crack of dawn to milk the cows. His host Aaron asked, “How is your life going?” “Okay, honestly, I am here because my life is just not going great, and I have the feeling (based on my past experiences with the holiness movement) that I could learn a lot from how you live.” “That is very wise, sometimes less is a lot more.” “What are holiness values that make you so different?” “Our faith includes humility, simplicity, and putting God and community ahead of the individual. For us, life is a spiritual activity, we focus on discipleship, forgiveness, and doing what the Bible says to do. We make a priority of family. We eat meals together, attend church services, and other community events together. Obedience of the Bible's commands is a key to our happiness. Generation after generation of our families have seen that following the Bible has made a great life for their elders. Because of that, a huge percentage of the children want to live just the way their parents did.” “So here is my question. Do I need to throw away my computer and TV so that I can have a great life like you do?” “That's not a bad idea. But the truth is... no matter how many things the holiness movement bans, one can get into sin anyways. And sin steals our joy. But, when we are fighting sin we do find a great life. Then, we have the opportunity to help others because God helps us help others. I think those last sentences really are our secret. Lastly, you're not from the holiness movement, but you can spend time with people who make Jesus a priority the way we do. They are out there and you can find them. They can help you find the way the same way that generations of holiness people have shown me the way.” “Thank you. This may turn out to be the best vacation I ever had.” Last edited: 1 minute ago
About 1% of people who come to a quitting forum are totally done with their habit. They will work 24 hours a day to fight it. They will read books, and articles, take notes, fill up journals, pray, and no matter how much it takes, they will do it this month. But... most of us make up the 99% for a long time. We try a few new things to fight back, and then try something new when that first thing did not cause a miracle. I am going on vacation for 7 days. This week consider finding 7 new habits that you will implement daily this week (and this year). Do everything and anything it takes to make these new things habits. Even if you fall on the day you do all of them, do all of them the next day. Realize... daily Bible reading is a key to success. And prayer, and turning rapidly from lust etc. But, if you are still part of the 99% almost anything you try will not work at some point. Sure, the verses for quitting will help you fight off temptation real good. But, if you are part of the 99% it will be hard to make doing that a permanent habit. The key point is, believe that your 7 new habits are changing you dramatically. No matter what happens believe that the 7 new habits will change your mind. When I fell my last few times my mind was so changed that I literally thought, “I am ruining my week and probably my month by going back to this garbage.” But I still went back, and I felt really stupid about myself. Consider praying: "Father, show me what You want me to do." Success But then finally, my new habits which led to my new thinking put me in the 1%.
Quitting addiction is like building a pyramid. We add a lot of great daily habits to form a strong foundation. Then we build higher and higher with more and more good habits. Finally, we add one last great habit at the top and we quit for good. Consider praying: “Father, show me what habits I need to have every day.” Obviously, this site has ideas for dozens of habits. So, if you study and pray, Almighty God might just start showing you a clearer path. Build your pyramid with daily habits. When you keep at it, someday you will only be one habit away from the top.
Yesterday I wrote about building a pyramid of great new activities which will greatly assist you. But, the challenge is remembering to do them. You can try sticky notes on your mirror, phone alarms, accountability partners, notes on your desk or calendar. You can develop codes so that the whole world does not know what is going on: While working I wrote TAFS a zillion times, it means – Turn aggressively from sin. When building your pyramid the base must be solid. Firstly, how to have a weak base. You join 3 softball teams because you are going to be active so that you can quit. But... say you do that but you ignore working on turning aggressively from lust. This is why it is so wise to follow this daily process: Repent fully, then pray: “Father, show me what to do.” Joining 3 softball teams is a good idea. But doing that plus reminding yourself to turn from lust every inning is a great idea (I often prayed, “Father help me to turn aggressively from sin,” 20-25 times daily when I was tempted). With that addition, now you are building your base (Turning from lust) and building upwards in your pyramid. Secondly, pray the “Show me” prayer because I don't know your past or present. God does. Over time He wants to give you special help for your special situation. Thirdly, there is power in “To Do.” Doing everything we know to quit, then asking the Almighty what He wants you to do to quit = increased power. Asking the Almighty what He wants you to do in life = increased power. Turning aggressively from sin = increased power in your life. Lastly, consider reading Nofap every day with a piece of paper with a triangle on it. Write “Daily Habits” at the bottom of the triangle. As you study, put in vital information close to the base of your pyramid. Over the next 30 days, see if you can “Do” the vital daily habits from the base of your pyramid every day.
Today I am going to use this parable in regards to how satan tricks us into p again. Verse 19 says some hear the message but don't understand it. I have heard/read every chapter in Matthew a few hundred times. Why? So that I understand it better. People say wrong things about the Bible every minute. But... they don't fool me. I know what it says. I often listened to 3-4 chapters daily on CD on my way to or from work. Twenty years ago I knew the Scripture but I did not understand it. But... over the years I listened read and submitted to scripture. And at some point, I started to understand it (a bit anyway). Today, I value daily scripture reading as vital. Verse 21 says, “They have no root.” Many come to this site, but some fail to make it a daily habit to read a few articles every day. Instead, visit daily no matter what. Try to implement new ideas into your day. Practice positive addictions. That is how you grow your root deep. Verse 22 writes about how the thorns choke the Word. We want more money or things. We have problems. Always be aware that satan will use money, things, problems, or anything else to sink you. But when we have daily habits of prayer, fighting sin and addictions, and Bible study, they take us away from the thorns and point us back towards Christ again. Consider praying: “Father, show me what thorns I am allowing to grow.” If this is a problem consider memorizing verse 22: But the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.” America says, “The one with the most money and toys wins.” Jesus says, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Lastly, verse 23 writes about a person who hears, understands, and follows Christ producing a huge crop. When you become that person, problems get way smaller. Joy gets way bigger. Self-control starts to be real. Problems start to be solved. For the original article click https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/rock-or-clay.327893/
Sometimes we have two choices when we are lonely. Taking the easy sinful solution, or turning to Jesus. To improve your chances of making the right choice pray: “Father, help me to remember that lust is an extremely short-term solution that ruins my week and month.” To turn to Jesus, repent fully of all sin. This involves asking for forgiveness and forming a plan for change. Next, make a commitment to purity. God is holy. If you want Jesus right there with you commit to turning from sin and focus on praising the Lord. I choose to retire early so I am home alone a lot. But when I follow this plan I have a friend (Jesus) filling up my life and you can do the exact same thing. Lastly, pray for your purpose: “Father, show me what you want me to do.” Purity plus purpose leads to Jesus being the best friend you will ever have. Purity plus purpose kills loneliness.
A decent percentage of our joy depends on what we look at. Satan knows this and he will attack with his temptations for short-term fun. How do we react to his attack? We copy what Jesus did, that's how. Jesus' response to satans attack was to say, “Get thee behind me satan.” We can say that, and we can say, “You want my life filled with destruction for the week and the month. I am not buying what you are selling this time.” Then, while we watch TV, satan will present his temptation and tell you to think, “I want this more than anything.” But instead, we quote to him: Matthew 6:22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!” And you immediately run from the sin. Then you are out and about on a hot summer day. Satan tells you how spectacular that woman is (who is not wearing close to enough clothing). But, following Jesus' example we quote to him: Colossians 3:5 ESV Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Put to death. Ouch. I need to do that. Idolatry... lust... I hope not. Websters say idolatry is an immoderate attachment or devotion to something. Noooooooo. I don't think looking is a good idea anymore. That's how it works. The more verses we quote, the more we come to our senses. for the full article click https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/how-jesus-overcame-temptation.321738/
Today I was working on my poison Ivy again. I started eight years ago, but I did not know I needed to dig out the root. I have spent countless hours working on it, spraying it, digging at it, but... the root is 15-18 inches deep, and I just have never solved the problem. Two years ago my brother said, “Just dig it out.” I did dig a lot of it out last summer, but, I never got to the bottom of the two vines with the deepest roots. I am not highly skilled at getting rid of it. Overcoming lust is often very deep-rooted. Anyone who reads my last 8 articles might say, “Wow, you are recommending a lot of change. This is a lot of work.” Back to the Poison Ivy. My brother just dug the root out and he was done. I used the easy method. I fiddled around with the Ivy a lot. I tried quick fixes. I bought special poison Ivy spray. But... I still have not dug up the root. Now it does not seem easier. The Ivy is still flourishing. If you just read my last 12 articles you realize that it is a lot of work to dig lust out. But really there are just two choices in your approach. First, you can work at it, try quick fixes, and give it your best shot. Or, you can do a lot of work and change and dig out the root. It takes 66 days on average to form a new habit or quit an old habit. The best way to quit old habits is to form new habits to replace them. When you dig out the root it is still going to take a while. 60 days if your habit is not so severe. Maybe 90 days or longer if it is severe. Maybe even years longer. But, when you dig out the root, the habit is dead. Secondly, I am 60 years old. I promise you that you can't even imagine the destruction that lust will cost you. The list of things it affects is endless. Tomorrow I am starting on a digging spree with poison ivy. I guess I have two choices. I can fiddle around with it again this year, or... I can change, develop new habits, put in the work, and dig until every last deep root is dug out.
Lately, I have been close to being obedient to scripture. Close to doing God's will. But when I live this way, frustration increases, and motivation decreases. I need to memorize Psalm 16:11 ESV “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” When we decide to be fully dedicated the Bible says: Psalm 32:8 ESV I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” Life is great when we insist on the straight path. When we do that, God shows us what “to do.” Consider praying: “Father, help me to be a fire burning for you.” When we sell ourselves out to be a burning fire for God, He instructs us, He counsels us. Psalm 16:11 starts to become true for us. The Feb. 26th article and this article give us a lot of keys for finding joy. Consider filling out your pyramid for quitting with some of these ideas. Because the best ideas for quitting are sometimes the ones that show us how to experience God's pleasures. For the Feb. 26th article click https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/seeking-real-joy.327283/
If loneliness causes you to fall, these are 5 great verses to use to fight back. If not, they are still great verses. Matthew 28:20 ESV / 3,470 helpful votes Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV / 3,458 helpful votes Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” 1 Peter 5:7 ESV / 2,818 helpful votes Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Psalm 38:9 ESV / 1,580 helpful votes O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you. Psalm 25:16 ESV / 1,412 helpful votes Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Philippians 4:6-7 ESV / 1,888 helpful votes Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
