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PLEASE HELP! HOCD

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by A346, Aug 28, 2017.

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  1. Aug 28, 2017 #1
    A346

    A346 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys.

    I'm completely new on here so would appreciate some advice.

    I've always considered myself a straight male and always dated females. When I was about 15, I developed an addiction to pornogrphy which quickly developed into hardcore. I then went onto gay/transwoman porn and switched between all types for many years. I never considered myself gay and would never want to date a man but just became turned on by the taboo factor. My addiction to porn was pretty bad and I would madturbate around 3 times a day.

    Fast forward 15 years later and I am happily married. One night in February I got completely wasted and ended up having oral and anal sex with another man. It was completely unexpected and I didn't know the guy was gay. He tried it on with me. The whole experience has completely traumatized me to the point that I am suffering with depression, anxiety, on meds and seeing a therapist! Life has become a serious struggle and I feel like I've ruined mine because of this experience.

    Can anyone relate or advise? I have been reading about HOCD and didn't realize that this was a condition.

    Thanks
     
    A346, Aug 28, 2017
    A346, Aug 28, 2017
    #1
  2. Aug 28, 2017 #2
    JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    No need to fear. You are not gay. You already know this. Yes HOCD is a real condition and I too developed some of it. I wasn't watching gay porn or doing anything in real life with other men but I watched so much porn to the point where my brain got bored of normal porn, it wanted a bigger rush. So I then moved onto transwoman porn even though the thought of men never turned me on at all but here I was getting off to a man dressed as a woman with fake breasts.

    All you need to know is that HOCD can definitely be reversed and I've seen it in myself (although I didn't have a serious case of it.) and I've read plenty of stories on here of people getting over it.

    You just have to stop watching Porn. Your brain will return to baseline and it will no longer need so much dopamine to turn you on. Normal things that you used to like will be exciting again. :)
     
    JakeWoods, Aug 28, 2017
    JakeWoods, Aug 28, 2017
    #2
    A346 likes this.
  3. Aug 28, 2017 #3
    Evolver1

    Evolver1 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I'm starting a support group on this app where we can discuss ssa and hocd and hopefully unravel it and by understanding it better we can let this part of us go.

    A few of us meet on Zoom video meetings every other Monday night at 8pm EST.

    We will have a meeting tonight 8/28/17 and every other Monday from then on.

    If interested in joining us you can join this new recovery app on the link below and join the SSA group in there for details on our bi-weekly video meetings

    https://mighty-men.mn.co/share/r8SOjDj3RhfX_U3u
     
    Evolver1, Aug 28, 2017
    Evolver1, Aug 28, 2017
    #3
  4. Aug 29, 2017 #4
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
    D . J ., Aug 29, 2017
    D . J ., Aug 29, 2017
    #4
    A346 likes this.
  5. Aug 29, 2017 #5
    A346

    A346 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks JakeWoods.

    I never really considered the porn addiction an issue and it didn't bother me. Now the incident has really left me feeling ashamed of my self and like a really bad person. I had fantasized about a gay experience but never imagined it to happen.

    I believe I acted out due to seeing what I had seen onscreen. Do you know anyone who can relate to this?

    Since the depression has kicked in, I haven't watched porn and don't intend to going forward. I just need to get my head straight.

    Cheers
     
    A346, Aug 29, 2017
    A346, Aug 29, 2017
    #5
  6. Aug 29, 2017 #6
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    D . J ., Aug 29, 2017
    D . J ., Aug 29, 2017
    #6

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