Please someone...I need help...PLEASE HELP ME

I love reading this!!

And welcome!

 

You are very welcome!
Let me know if I can help in any way!

& I understand completely... I used to empty the email too... Until it got exhausting and he decided to truly move forward it was time for a new email and a fresh start.
Good luck to you both!

 

Forgiveness is the importance here

 

I'm so glad to be able to read your side and see clearly now where I may have come off a little insensitive to your part of all this. I understand all too well what the lies can cause, hence my username. I take no offense at all, and I thank you for your approach. I'm so sorry for the pain you have surely felt due to all of this. I understand what comfort this boundary brought you and the feeling of betrayal you must have experienced when he told you of this. I feel for you.

 

You have a huge community here to help, @CowardlyLion and @sadNY. Never feel like you are alone in this or it is all hopeless. I am elated that you two chose love over irrational actions and betrayal. I won’t underestimate the hard road you two have ahead of you, so keep your chin up and don’t forget to spend time in each other’s arms loving one another.

 

@CowardlyLion: I'm a little late to this thread .. and I hope I'm not just piling on with these thoughts, but here goes:

First thing, you're a complete idiot for deleting those emails ... but I get the sense that you fully recognize that. You can't undo it -- and your amazing SO has every right to distrust you more now -- accept that.

Here is what you can do moving forward: before you SAY or DO anything, think to yourself, "How will my SO feel about this?"

EVERYTHING .. everything you Say or Do.

The only place you don't have to worry about this is in your thoughts / in your personal journal (although she might read it one day!) / in your conversations with your counselor....everything else in your life -- in every action you take / every word you speak, you MUST consider your SO first -- how will it affect her if I say or do this [with her present]?

..

I know how hard it is, with all the feelings of unknowing'ness / the fear / the loneliness / the self-hatred / seeing the woman you love in so much pain / etc. --- but you/I have to remember we caused this situation / we caused this pain / we are 100% to blame. We MUST put our SO's well being in front of ours. I bet you would be willing to sacrifice your life to save your SO's life .. that is exactly what you need to do by thinking about her first and foremost in everything you SAY or DO, instead of thinking about your own pain.

 

Hey bro, you're not a "stupid motherfucking useless pieces of shit bitch", really you're not ... you are just human. You may have perfect intentions like all of us humans do, but like all of us humans you are imperfect and have a hard time living up to those perfect intentions. And that is in a sense very beautiful - we are not robots that never make mistakes. When you make a mistake remember: (1) you are not alone - we all make mistakes and (2) we can always find a way of making things right again. If instead of beating yourself up and treating yourself like a piece of shit, you treat yourself like you would your best buddy if he had just made the mistake you did, I promise with time you will start reaching your intentions more easily and more often. Be well bro and take care.