Porn since age 12

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Blackswan, Jan 16, 2018.

  1. Blackswan

    Blackswan Fapstronaut

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    my husband has been a porn addict since age 12... does that mean he has never realy experienced real sex? Real relationship?? Does that mean it’s going to take a very long time for his brain to reboot after quitting?? Is there any hope?
     
  2. This is from the “getting started with NoFap” guide. So to answer your question, yes, if he grew up with the stuff, he may need longer for his brain to reboot.

    But as to whether or not there is hope: ABSOLUTELY! Just look around these forums, check out the success stories. There are many men here who have taken an active approach to ending this addiction.

    Has your husband begun his NoFap journey yet? If not, maybe it’s time to talk to him about it. Let him know he is not alone. We are all in this together.
     
    thorswrath32 and Hurted like this.
  3. Erick Pastora

    Erick Pastora Fapstronaut

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    It's not a question of since when but how often. We need a little more info here, like his age or how many times a day does he PMO on average. Also, I'm asuming you haven't had sex because you're thinking that he hasn't or is it because you did it and he didn't know how to, or did he barely has sexual desire for you?
    Now, answering your question, I myself started watching porn at age 12 or 13 and I just quitted at 19. It's difficult but not impossible. I used to watch porn almost every day and when I got tired of it I started watching webcams, my habit was to do it 3 times a day and when I have relapsed I've done it at least 3 times. I've never experienced real sex, but again, I'm only 19 so I can't speak for him or any other. If you are worried about something, let him know and ask him all that you asked here, because there's no better way to support him than showing you are worried.
    Reboot is possible for EVERYONE, but it depends on how the person is taking it, how are his habits (PMO and others), how much free time does he have, what activities does he do, etc. It's all about being supported (by you), respecting, knowing and loving himself, and most important believing he can do it.

    Bottom line: talk to him and support him. Both of you keep strong!
     
  4. zakes

    zakes Fapstronaut

    Id say he probably has experienced all that, however, he could have had more enjoyment out of the experience if he was free from his porn addictions.

    There would have been much more physical pleasure and emotional fulfillment if he was free from his addition.
     
  5. There is always hope but so much depends on his willingness and ability to recover. I used online porn since i was 15 and have been exposed to porn since i was around 13-14. I had a relationship for 5 years when i was 17 through to 22 but i don't believe it was all it could have been since I was still into porn at that point. The thing that suffers the most with porn addicts is intimacy because it is replaced with a need for sexual gratification and endless novelty, feeding a hunger that is never satiated and going to further extremes. The thing with porn addiction is if you stop feeding it, it dies. You have to decide how far you want to go with him on this journey and I think it's likely to be difficult for both of you at first.

    Patrick Carnes PHD is one of the most educated and well known psychosexual therpists, i've read his book 'In the shadows of the net' which talks about how to overcome cybersex addiction, from the addicts perspective it's really useful, but his daughter Stefanie Carnes has also written a book called Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts. Not read it myself but it may be a good place for you to start.
     
  6. Blackswan

    Blackswan Fapstronaut

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    He started porn at age 12... hard core apparently- use to watch anything or everything... use to have to turn to it everyday... I met him when he was 17... and then married him at 25... I never knew if his poem addiction untill 2 months ago (he is now 31) which means that he has had this addiction for 19 years...
    we never had a sexual relationship... first year of marriage literally 2 times in the whole year... second year mayb 4... 3rd year zero in a whole year...4th year and 5th year it picked up to maybe 1nce s month...
    To me I always thought it was lack of sexual desire... I never once thought he had an addiction... he says at the beggining of our marriage he did it like 4 times a week.. but in the last 2 years on average 1nce a week or 1nce every two weeks...
    when we hv had sex in the past it’s like he jus wants in over n done with on his behalf...
    Is sex abad idea right now seen as he is rebooting? ( he did say he fantasizes while we had sex- whenever tht was). So what if he still fantasizes?
    I dnt realy no wat to do in this situation and I realy dnt no how long it’s gna take for him to recover
     
  7. Blackswan

    Blackswan Fapstronaut

    63
    30
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    He started porn at age 12... hard core apparently- use to watch anything or everything... use to have to turn to it everyday... I met him when he was 17... and then married him at 25... I never knew if his poem addiction untill 2 months ago (he is now 31) which means that he has had this addiction for 19 years...
    we never had a sexual relationship... first year of marriage literally 2 times in the whole year... second year mayb 4... 3rd year zero in a whole year...4th year and 5th year it picked up to maybe 1nce s month...
    To me I always thought it was lack of sexual desire... I never once thought he had an addiction... he says at the beggining of our marriage he did it like 4 times a week.. but in the last 2 years on average 1nce a week or 1nce every two weeks...
    when we hv had sex in the past it’s like he jus wants in over n done with on his behalf...
    Is sex abad idea right now seen as he is rebooting? ( he did say he fantasizes while we had sex-whenever tht was). So what if he still fantasizes?
    I dnt realy no wat to do in thissituation and I realy dnt no how long it’s gna take for him to recover
     

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