Porn to escorts

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I run with scissors

Fapstronaut
Hi fellas so I started my nofap journey about 3 months ago, my longest streak has been 34 days and a few 14 day streaks, this addiction is crazy I’ve gone from porn to paying for only fans accounts to considering meetings with escorts this is fucked. I don’t want to pay for sex but I just can’t help it, I have no control. I have an amazing partner that I want to stay connected with when I watch porn it pushes me away from her and I distance my self. Seman retention is amazing you feel like such a man and your mental wellbeing is amazing your on top of the world. I just needed to vent after a relapse.
 
I run with scissors said:
Hi fellas so I started my nofap journey about 3 months ago, my longest streak has been 34 days and a few 14 day streaks, this addiction is crazy I’ve gone from porn to paying for only fans accounts to considering meetings with escorts this is fucked. I don’t want to pay for sex but I just can’t help it, I have no control. I have an amazing partner that I want to stay connected with when I watch porn it pushes me away from her and I distance my self. Seman retention is amazing you feel like such a man and your mental wellbeing is amazing your on top of the world. I just needed to vent after a relapse.
Click to expand...
 
I run with scissors said:
Hi fellas so I started my nofap journey about 3 months ago, my longest streak has been 34 days and a few 14 day streaks, this addiction is crazy I’ve gone from porn to paying for only fans accounts to considering meetings with escorts this is fucked. I don’t want to pay for sex but I just can’t help it, I have no control. I have an amazing partner that I want to stay connected with when I watch porn it pushes me away from her and I distance my self. Seman retention is amazing you feel like such a man and your mental wellbeing is amazing your on top of the world. I just needed to vent after a relapse.
Click to expand...
Yes, you can help it. Learn how to!
You can do it, if you really want.
 
I run with scissors said:
Hi fellas so I started my nofap journey about 3 months ago, my longest streak has been 34 days and a few 14 day streaks, this addiction is crazy I’ve gone from porn to paying for only fans accounts to considering meetings with escorts this is fucked. I don’t want to pay for sex but I just can’t help it, I have no control. I have an amazing partner that I want to stay connected with when I watch porn it pushes me away from her and I distance my self. Seman retention is amazing you feel like such a man and your mental wellbeing is amazing your on top of the world. I just needed to vent after a relapse.
Click to expand...
Seek outside help. 12 step meetings (SAA, CoDA) are donation basis. Seek therapy. Apply for medical coverage if you can.
 
You know what the problem is, now it's upto you to keep fighting it day in day out until you achieve your goal. We're here to help support you if you need it. And just remember, you're never going to feel any better if you relapse. Good luck.
 
ReclaimedLife said:
Did i miss something here? You have someone to have sex with who you really enjoy being with and you still consider paying an escort? Wut?
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Sex with escorts has nothing to do with sex....meaning they arent caused by a lack of sex--- its 99%a non-sexual problem being fixed with sex
 
need4realchg said:
Sex with escorts has nothing to do with sex....meaning they arent caused by a lack of sex--- its 99%a non-sexual problem being fixed with sex
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That doesn't answer my question on wether he has a girlfriend he like to be with and finds attractive and could have sex with though.
He could fix the non-sexual problems by sleeping with his girlfriend as well. Where is the point of the escort?
 
need4realchg said:
Sex with escorts has nothing to do with sex....meaning they arent caused by a lack of sex--- its 99%a non-sexual problem being fixed with sex
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I find this so fascinating........
a man picks an escort...... probably after looking and looking, and fantasizing about it, then makes contact..... then drives to a place
Gets naked, and then do the most intimate and sexual things...... have an orgasm.........................
Please someone tell me how this “has nothing to do with sex”
I understand that most of this behavior is caused by low self esteem....... and that needs to be fixed

But I’m trying so hard to understand why people always say that
“It’s not about sex”

Anyone who has a thought about this please chime in.

Thank you
 
I run with scissors said:
Hi fellas so I started my nofap journey about 3 months ago, my longest streak has been 34 days and a few 14 day streaks, this addiction is crazy I’ve gone from porn to paying for only fans accounts to considering meetings with escorts this is fucked. I don’t want to pay for sex but I just can’t help it, I have no control. I have an amazing partner that I want to stay connected with when I watch porn it pushes me away from her and I distance my self. Seman retention is amazing you feel like such a man and your mental wellbeing is amazing your on top of the world. I just needed to vent after a relapse.
Click to expand...

The fact you posted is courageous & means your heart is in the right spot. You know what you need to do, refactor your plan, shake the dust off & give it another whirl. You got this!
 
Luvspin68 said:
I find this so fascinating........
a man picks an escort...... probably after looking and looking, and fantasizing about it, then makes contact..... then drives to a place
Gets naked, and then do the most intimate and sexual things...... have an orgasm.........................
Please someone tell me how this “has nothing to do with sex”
I understand that most of this behavior is caused by low self esteem....... and that needs to be fixed

But I’m trying so hard to understand why people always say that
“It’s not about sex”

Anyone who has a thought about this please chime in.

Thank you
Click to expand...

The preparation and planning stage is where the dopamine rush comes into play. Then before I know it I am following through with it, and I am at the maximum high until I bust my nut, then the guilt, shame and despair immediately kicks in. So, it is and it is not about sex. That is just the end result of this vicious cycle.
 
William Wallace said:
The preparation and planning stage is where the dopamine rush comes into play. Then before I know it I am following through with it, and I am at the maximum high until I bust my nut, then the guilt, shame and despair immediately kicks in. So, it is and it is not about sex. That is just the end result of this vicious cycle.
Click to expand...
Thank you for this insight.
 
William Wallace said:
The preparation and planning stage is where the dopamine rush comes into play. Then before I know it I am following through with it, and I am at the maximum high until I bust my nut, then the guilt, shame and despair immediately kicks in. So, it is and it is not about sex. That is just the end result of this vicious cycle.
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This is true and the background process. continuously thinking about to have an M later sometime give a high. It arranges other things to reach that point and the cycle continues...
 
For me paying for sex from escorts seemed like it was for the exciting sex. But deep down , the foundational reason why I was doing this was to feel "special , wanted , good enough , important " feelings that I didn't feel or learn how to feel when I was a child.

The thing with that though. Is it never actually makes you feel " good enough " ... Because everyone else feels special on their own .... I had to pay for someone else to make me feel that way
 
Luvspin68 said:
I find this so fascinating........
a man picks an escort...... probably after looking and looking, and fantasizing about it, then makes contact..... then drives to a place
Gets naked, and then do the most intimate and sexual things...... have an orgasm.........................
Please someone tell me how this “has nothing to do with sex”
I understand that most of this behavior is caused by low self esteem....... and that needs to be fixed

But I’m trying so hard to understand why people always say that
“It’s not about sex”

Anyone who has a thought about this please chime in.

Thank you
Click to expand...

William Wallace said:
The preparation and planning stage is where the dopamine rush comes into play. Then before I know it I am following through with it, and I am at the maximum high until I bust my nut, then the guilt, shame and despair immediately kicks in. So, it is and it is not about sex. That is just the end result of this vicious cycle.
Click to expand...

I disagree about this. The initial thought is still the want for sex and connection, there is just seemingly no other way to obtain it for certain men. So whatever cycle is involved it only comes AFTER the want or need to have sex.
If that wouldn't have been there in the first place, nobody would start looking for prostitutes, in fact i doubt that whole line of work would exist.
It just supplies the demand that is already there, and has been there since ancient times.
We can't ignore the desire for sex and or connection. But we can learn how to live and deal with it.
 
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