Porn to escorts

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by I run with scissors, Jun 22, 2019.

  1. I run with scissors

    I run with scissors Fapstronaut

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    Hi fellas so I started my nofap journey about 3 months ago, my longest streak has been 34 days and a few 14 day streaks, this addiction is crazy I’ve gone from porn to paying for only fans accounts to considering meetings with escorts this is fucked. I don’t want to pay for sex but I just can’t help it, I have no control. I have an amazing partner that I want to stay connected with when I watch porn it pushes me away from her and I distance my self. Seman retention is amazing you feel like such a man and your mental wellbeing is amazing your on top of the world. I just needed to vent after a relapse.
     
  2. APurple1

    APurple1 Fapstronaut

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  3. APurple1

    APurple1 Fapstronaut

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    I believe your process would be considered problematic behavior. Have you tried opening up to your partner about what you're experiencing?
     
    Rebooter45674 likes this.
  4. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Yes, you can help it. Learn how to!
    You can do it, if you really want.
     
    APurple1 likes this.
  5. dukesoup

    dukesoup Fapstronaut

    Seek outside help. 12 step meetings (SAA, CoDA) are donation basis. Seek therapy. Apply for medical coverage if you can.
     
    APurple1 likes this.
  6. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    You know what the problem is, now it's upto you to keep fighting it day in day out until you achieve your goal. We're here to help support you if you need it. And just remember, you're never going to feel any better if you relapse. Good luck.
     
    APurple1 likes this.
  7. Tryinghardtoquit2

    Tryinghardtoquit2 Fapstronaut

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    Been there mate. Escalation pf behaviour after years of porn. Get a good period of abstinence going to clear your head. Get some therapy and get clean. There is a better way to live. Good luck buddy.
     
  8. I run with scissors

    I run with scissors Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate this is just what I needed to hear appreciate it.
     
  9. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Did i miss something here? You have someone to have sex with who you really enjoy being with and you still consider paying an escort? Wut?
     
  10. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Sex with escorts has nothing to do with sex....meaning they arent caused by a lack of sex--- its 99%a non-sexual problem being fixed with sex
     
  11. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    That doesn't answer my question on wether he has a girlfriend he like to be with and finds attractive and could have sex with though.
    He could fix the non-sexual problems by sleeping with his girlfriend as well. Where is the point of the escort?
     
  12. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    I find this so fascinating........
    a man picks an escort...... probably after looking and looking, and fantasizing about it, then makes contact..... then drives to a place
    Gets naked, and then do the most intimate and sexual things...... have an orgasm.........................
    Please someone tell me how this “has nothing to do with sex”
    I understand that most of this behavior is caused by low self esteem....... and that needs to be fixed

    But I’m trying so hard to understand why people always say that
    “It’s not about sex”

    Anyone who has a thought about this please chime in.

    Thank you
     
  13. James02

    James02 Fapstronaut

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    The fact you posted is courageous & means your heart is in the right spot. You know what you need to do, refactor your plan, shake the dust off & give it another whirl. You got this!
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  14. William Wallace

    William Wallace Fapstronaut

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    The preparation and planning stage is where the dopamine rush comes into play. Then before I know it I am following through with it, and I am at the maximum high until I bust my nut, then the guilt, shame and despair immediately kicks in. So, it is and it is not about sex. That is just the end result of this vicious cycle.
     
  15. User number one

    User number one Fapstronaut

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    Well put
     
    William Wallace likes this.
  16. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this insight.
     
    William Wallace likes this.
  17. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    This is true and the background process. continuously thinking about to have an M later sometime give a high. It arranges other things to reach that point and the cycle continues...
     
    William Wallace likes this.
  18. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

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    I read somewhere, that having sex with a prostitute is the same as jerking off inside the woman. Made sense to me.
     
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  19. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Yep. But it’s way better. lol.

    Not all paid sex feels bad... you just feel bad after...
     
  20. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    For me paying for sex from escorts seemed like it was for the exciting sex. But deep down , the foundational reason why I was doing this was to feel "special , wanted , good enough , important " feelings that I didn't feel or learn how to feel when I was a child.

    The thing with that though. Is it never actually makes you feel " good enough " ... Because everyone else feels special on their own .... I had to pay for someone else to make me feel that way
     
    need4realchg and William Wallace like this.

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