Problem w/ Girls @ the Gym (trigger warning)

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by questtocure, Aug 20, 2019.

  1. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I go to the gym 5 times of the week and am struggling to avoid objectifying these women who all wear the same Gymshark leggings that obviously try to show off their ass. I can't help it wherever I am in the gym, there's always a girl in the corner of my eye doing some fucking exercise that requires her to bend or maybe she just has a huge ass that sticks out in her leggings.

    I am trying to drop sexual objectification of women as a whole for the sake of my recovery and to build natural intimacy in my relationship, however this has been the biggest struggle..

    Any thoughts on how to conquer this chit?

    Appreciate it
     
  2. Look them in the eye, smile and wave, say hello. It changes your focus and helps to view them as people instead of objects.
     
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  3. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    But realistically, I am not going to wave at them, they'd just be like wtf who are you o-o
     
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  4. The best way to avoid evil is trying to not make it exist, don't look at them, it's what they want you to do
     
  5. Stug

    Stug Fapstronaut

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    Same here when i abstained for weeks or months and i go to the beach. Huge trigger.
    Best way is to go someplace where you don't have many people or do different exercises outside.
    Whatever you do don't look
    Gym and beach are huge triggers in general, streets and other places are fine i guess.

    pretend they are close family or something .. sisters etc and think about how much you respect them. Usually love and respect overrides the urge for sex
     
  6. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    Avert your gaze as soon as you see them. I've found it to be the only way. Ogling just fuels the lust
     
  7. harris37

    harris37 Fapstronaut

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    This is crazy, I just came on here to write the exact same thing lmao, I'm day 20 new no fapper... just started hitting the gym again and these girls in yoga pants making me horny as fuck... doesn't help that some try get my attention when I'm upstairs hitting the punch bag, come up start stretching out and bending over in front of me and taking off there top layers. There's plenty stretch mats downstairs lol, I know not every girl is doing this on purpose there just getting on with there workout but there s definately girls that do try get my attention, there young and fit as fuck. I would say I also over the years have looked at women as a sexual object but I find it really hard to just want to be friend's especially when there bodies look like a fucking hour glass and big booty.
     
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  8. grease

    grease Fapstronaut

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    Buy equipment, workout at home
     
  9. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    You already said that, but: they already objectify themselves by wearing these pants. They probably know what they are doing.

    I am repeating this as it might help you take off some pressure off your shoulders. Of course you are responsible for your thoughts, but in a world where objectified body parts are being shoved right into your face everywhere you go (not only in the gym, but also in advertisements and so on), you don't have to feel guilty for every single one of these thoughts. Moreover, a bit of objectification is completely normal, even regarding your loved one. (Note: I am saying a bit of objectification.) I would say that 'natural intimacy' includes some objectification every now and then. Everything sensual does. If you try to keep a mental hygiene because you feel it helps you recover, do it for the sake of your recovery and don't worry about being unjust towards these girls too much. As long as you aren't acting out anything which contradicts your ethics, there is no need to feel guilty.
     
  10. Sufc101

    Sufc101 Fapstronaut

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    It's a shame it's has to be a trigger and not just something glorious to see.... For me this is not going to stop me from appreciating a beautiful women, confident in her body working out in the gym . There's limited beauty in this world, a lot of it's ugly and dark, I tend to keep my eyes wide open when it presents itself. ... Lol
     
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  11. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    Maybe try going to the gym at a different time? In my experience the worst time is in the evening, so I go in the morning before work. Yes, there are still some insanely fit and dedicated women in there . . . but generally, the kinds of women that are simply dressing for attention aren't hitting the gym that early.
     
  12. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    Mate I've had the same struggles with yoga pants. Im very ashamed to say that seeing them has led me to "relieving myself" in the gym bathroom.

    Im getting better on it now. You just need to focus on your own workout. Eventually things settle down. Stay away from P/M and you'll find your self control again. Although it is very hard.
    I have a girlfriend, but some people I've been talking to have some ideas about this.
    Basically, if you want to check her out then do it. But... Only if you are going to go over and talk to her and try and get her number to meet later so that you can have real relations.
    Otherwise its just P but in real life.
    I mean this in the nicest way possible. But if you don't want to or don't have the balls to go and talk to her then just ignore her and get back to your workout. Otherwise you are just living inside your head in your own fantasies and its likely to lead back to PMO.

    After a while on nofap you'll hopefully have so much confidence you can go over and chat her up like a pro.
     
  13. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    True about evening time, but my work roster rotates around morning and evening shifts throughout the week so it's hard to just pick & choose
     
  14. cadia guardsman

    cadia guardsman Fapstronaut

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    Same happens to me at my gym, but i dont think it is a bad thing, just try to look more at their face , if they are atraccted to you dont feel bad about looking
     
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  15. holding_energy

    holding_energy Fapstronaut

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    Tell yourself "God makes beautiful things" then look away. Use the energy for your workout. Add a couple of plates to the bar.

     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2019
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  16. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    I think you should get in touch with sam hyde and start a real guy heaven gym.
     
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  17. Strijder

    Strijder Fapstronaut

    Don’t think too much about it. I have these feelings too but just think okay she is hot and move on and if you’re really brave and single go have a chat. In the end we are hetero guys ;) and a good looking girl isn’t an evil thing. Just man the hell up and move on.
     
  18. RobbyGo36

    RobbyGo36 Fapstronaut

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    Someone in my SAA group had a good line that keeps him in check "Every time you get the urge to ogle, just remember they're someones daughter/wife/sister." I have found this to be true: The more you humanize women, put boundaries on your behavior, the more control you'll have around them. Obviously we're men and we react to such things as you've described, but the thing to work towards is to not let your mind become controlled by what you see. Acknowledge it and move on. They're real people, with real lives, not fantasy playthings.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2019
  19. questtocure

    questtocure Fapstronaut

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    This right here is what I've been doing and it's been working successfully :)
    If I catch myself having a glimpse, I simply look away and say wow God does create beautiful things
     
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  20. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    There does seem to be some weird phenomena like @harris37 said, I get on a workout machine and a girl comes to do some routine on the mat in front of me (and is facing me), and the mat area is about 20 yards wide and free of space... I wouldn't do my exercises in front of someone risking awkward eye contact, but I think that's what some girls do to meet guys... Just a theory.

    And adding to @Headspace's comment, I also don't think this is anything to be ashamed of. I don't think girls are sluts for working out in front of guys, and I don't think I'm a perv when I notice a girl who looks nice and I look for a second or two.

    This is at the end of the day a healthy place with guys and girls, and opportunities to meet people for friends or more.

    If I particularly want to avoid heaps of yoga chicks, I go in the middle of the day or early morning.

    Otherwise, just appreciate the REAL novelty. Of course, don't stare, but when you do feel that fire in your belly - don't hesitate either - walk up and say hi.
     
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