Reframing thoughts

Precisely. The key for my mental well-being lies not in constantly working to improve it, but rather in letting go or simply being aware that I am constantly thinking about it

 

It is a big relief to know that really everyone just lives his/her own life, whereas I am constantly thinking of how everyone views/looks at me. This seems to be an overarching topic that narrows down into many thought patterns, but knowing that it is a patterns is great indeed

 

I feel low in energy, sort of depressed today. It feels like I am not on the right path in life. I am working two jobs, but I don't feel like this is what I want to be doing. Let's focus on the two jobs: one job is in business as a sales representative and the other is in fitness instruction.

The job in business is quite okay, I have a lot of work today and although it might not be my dream job, I have nice colleagues and generally enjoy being there, except that it is all seated work and that can be quite straining sometimes. On the other hand, the job in fitness is extremely boring, many times there is just not enough to do. I also don't feel like this is really what I want to be doing. But I had the same feeling for the sales job, I sort of feel like I just don't know what I want to do in life anyhow. I feel lost. Today I feel like I am not passionate anymore about something I used to be passionate about, powerlifting. I don't like that I am feeling slow, big and not flexible. I would like to lose some fat (I am not fat but at least look more shredded) and become more flexible, as well as get my conditioning up to the point where I can run 10km runs without too much struggle and generally feel more functionally fit. It disappoints me to know that I have lost my passion for lifting the big weights, but people change, and so do I.

What do I intend to gain through my second job in fitness? I honestly wouldn't know, I don't even know why I made the choice to start it. I have worked there for 3 weeks now and plan on informing the boss that I will not continue there, it does not feel right. Why? It is generally boring, not much to do and I see no long term job for me there.

I am very much focussed on improving myself, but what do I really aim to get through that? Being happy? If I want to be happy I can just do the things that I want to do, but it feels like I am lost and don't know what I like, if that makes sense. If I knew what would motivate me or make me happy, I'd do it, but I don't really know. What is there to do besides working my job? Of course there are family times, those are nice, dinner with nice food for example.