rewiring with prostitutes

How many days have you been free of M and P? I understand your logic but have decided to wait 80-90 days before I think about having sex with anyone.

 

That is very dangerous. In theory it might make sense now, but you're just replacing a 2-dimensional fantasy for a 3 dimensional fantasy.

Do you think the kind of woman you want to end up with would be glad you were banging prostitutes during the last 6 months?

 

Yeah... Bad idea. Take advice from a 90 day-er... I believe it's a bad idea because I hold sex in high regards. Sexual intercourse shouldn't be wasted on some women that you don't know... Porn is fantasy... Prostitutes are fantasy... I am having a lot of trouble telling the two apart.

If I were you, I wouldn't do it.

~Squeaky Soul

 

Sex doesn't have to be porn or fantasy based. It can be simple and healthy, respectful and considerate. Not everyone holds sex in high regard or wants a relationship. It's not something I will consider yet, though. Too early.

 

.
Why not look for a regular woman who ...
1) understands the concept of ED
2) doesn't treat you like you're "broken"
3) makes you feel good in general
4) accepts your history/habits and is happy to help you overcome what you don't like.

The HARD part of that is being open with your date and disclosing what's going on.
But the GOOD part is you might find a new best friend and ultimate cheerleader.

I don't know. It's been a long time since I've had to deal with the meat market, but it seems like that would be a much better way to start a relationship than putting on a front, only to discover later that your 'catch' is far from supportive when the going gets rough. And it WILL get rough, eventually. If we live long enough we all develop health problems.

Good women feel really good when they can do something for you that you can't do by yourself.
Working with you to retrain your brain... talk about a super ego boost for your non-paid female helper.

 

Hm well you could think about the fact that all prostitutes aren't prostitutes by choice. Or that Ted Bundy also enjoyed getting prostitutes. Or that depending on where you live, it is likely illegal. Or that the prostitute is underage. Prostitutes are just as bad as porn for so many reasons. You're allowing yourself to use women as objects which is what porn does. What is the point of no watching porn? Porn stars are computer prostitutes and its really the same thing. Please don't make me post all the stories of women who have been forced into prostitution. A lot of porn stars go from porn to prostitution. /endrant

 

Uh-oh. I believe there's a typo in that sentence. Here, let me correct it for you:

"Of course, i see it more as a "training wheel", and my goal is to have real sex with women by time."

Prostitutes are real women. You pay them for sex, which makes the act a play, a fantasy rather than a reflection of real intimacy. You don't get real sex, in the sense that they are faking it. YMMV. Maybe there are some sex workers who would be a very good "training wheel" for you and leave you better off than when you started. But I suspect there is a lot of potential for getting bad data, and learning things you'll have to un-learn later.

Perhaps look for someone who advertizes herself as a sex therapist.

 

As usual, there are some good posts in this thread.

Dear, Mdz.

It seems like you have made your decision and our opinions and advices seem irrelevant to you.

I'm afraid, that you're just lying to yourself. Maybe you're too weak, that you simply (think you) can't live without the stimulus. If you start banging prostitutes, then you're still trapped in that hyper-sexualized mindset. You probably don't even feel any kind of chemistry with prostitutes, so you're basically masturbating with a woman. A filthy woman, who is putting a price tag on herself.

You have to understand, that they are not real women. You can't get sex from a real woman for money. Real women aren't there just to please you. Real women have feelings. Wake up, man!

Ask yourself: How low can you go?

And if you're still going to do this, remember this: naked beggars are greedy.

 

It depends on who you see, you need to careful. Over here in the Uk it's not illegal. In relationship people have have sex for all sorts of reasons, not just because they are horny. Sex workers are helping out, providing a service and remember you don't have to see them as objects and have promiscuous porn type sex.

 

NotAfraid,
I wonder if you can imagine why some people (especially females) might find that comment offensive?
Are you interested in having the reasons spelled out for you?

 

Can someone enlighten me to what real sex is? When both are horny? And just because you have sex with a stranger does it mean you can't care about them as a human being?

 

Real vs WHAT is a good question.

At the most basic level, even PMO could be called 'real' sex in the sense that it's sex with yourself, with fantasies used as tools.
Kind of like the joke... Man: "Are those breasts real?" Woman: "Yes, I bought them myself."

In my view, for sex to be 'real' it has to be AT MINIMUM, a genuine interaction between two voluntary participants (both capable of consent) in which ulterior motives are not foremost and in which each partner is invested in the other's experience. Maybe it can be a little favor in the context of a relationship, but again it has to be voluntary and motivated by investment in the other person's happiness.

Like, what is 'real' friendship? It's not one-sided. It's not based only on desperation or what the other person can do for you. It doesn't usually develop overnight. It doesn't go "POOF" for superficial reasons.

With regard to 'real' sex being genuine, people can play pretend if they like. That's their business. But there's a big difference between consensual fantasy play and falsely representing yourself or engaging in nasty manipulations. Also, people who are afraid of rejection and present a completely false persona to the outside world, who don't share their true feelings, they can't have genuine connections with others when they're in that state of mind. They have to learn to open up. To be truthful and trusting. To treat other people as whole people instead of using them cynically. That's kind of what I'm getting at. I don't comprehend being able to have connected sex with strangers, and I suspect that most people who do have casual sex are not having that kind of interaction. Whether you're playing a game of conquest or just reaching for the nearest warm body who can give you a fix, using people is not the same as being with people.

But it's subjective, and it takes frankly examining yourself to figure out what you're doing. Nobody else can figure it out for you, though your behavior will leave clues aplenty. That's my two cents. It's just one opinion among many.

 

I said what I felt like had to be said. If I was trying to say everything in a way that no one gets offended, then I basically wouldn't be saying shit.

However, if it helps you on your journey to "spell the reasons our for me", then please do.

 

I wish I had all the money today that I have spent on prostitutes in the past I also see prostitutes as part of my porn addiction. It is true prostitutes definitely warped my sense of sexuality and what is real in a relationship. And yes in dealing with prostitutes one must be careful it is against the law and in most places and you also could end up being robbed which I have known friends that is happened to.

 

When the creator of NoFap disagrees... You should probably listen.

~Squeaky Soul