Sex is fine...

I think you are right. Naturally if you have sex a few times, you are satisfied for some time. It's the combination of endless highly exciting images and masturbation, with which we can stimulate ourselves in a way a real sexual partner can't compete with, which overdrives our brains.

I don't know of any man or woman who had these weird withdrawal symptoms through sex, people get through PMO.

 

NoFap doesn't say you should abstain from sex. It is an option that or "hard mode" that many take for personal reasons- for instance the "chaser effect" is a difficult thing to deal with while having sex, remaining sexual in general can make it more difficult from masturbation or porn use for some guys.

 

I'll modify your claim a tad. I'll say having sex WITH THE RIGHT PERSON is fine. There are cases where sex is actually worse than masturbation, such as sex with other people while you're married, or having sex with a prostitute, etc.

Those times, you're violating trust and treating someone as an object, which is what porn also does.

 

For me, the bottom line is this:

If I can't be with my wife 100%, it's unhealthy. If I can't get it up and keep it up solely by being with her, then it's dangerous to my recovery. If I have to 'go somewhere' in my head, then that's not fair to her or myself and it's time to STOP.

That's the line for me. If I'm working on being intimate with her and I feel like my brain wants to edge to something, then I need to ask her for a pause. That CAN sometimes kill the whole mood. Sometimes she might understand. But making love to her while imagining I'm somewhere else is worse. It's worse than edging because it is edging while actively hurting my partner by not helping myself heal.

It's also important to me to remember that some fantasies that I have made up in my head over the years are perfectly okay to act out with my wife as long as I am with her and she agrees to participae. It's okay to understand that our 'normal' sex life will probably consist of much more than the missionary position. It takes some time to look inward and delineate what turns us on when we are edging and what we may honestly be interested in in the bedroom. We may naturally be into some exploration and/or fetishes and it's okay to share that information with your spouse. You should be willing to hear what they are into as well.

There's no need to reel in all of your kinky thoughts and behavior in the real world. Just be honest with yourself about it all.