I am new here and found this forum after hours of searching the internet in the attempt to understand my boyfriends addiction, dishonesty and behavior. I will describe the situation and problems and would greatly appreciate any feedback. I have been with my boyfriend for only 9 months, he is 47, I am 31 and after dating for 4 months I had to move back to Ukraine. Going into the relationship I knew he was a sober alcoholic and he goes to meetings almost daily for the past 12 years as well as being depressed and on antidepressants. Shortly before moving back I found his journal and while I know I should not have read it, I did. Through reading his journal i found out that he was not only addicted to alcohol, but also to porn, sex and escorts. This explained some of his behavior and also explained the reason for his DE or rather not ejaculating at all during sex (he specifically wrote that he has a porn addiction and it is the only way he can cum). He cheated on all his past girlfriends and has slipped in his sobriety, though he has also kept his relapses and his troubling sexual behavior (prostitutes etc.) from his sponsor. At this point I did not say anything because I did not want him to find out that I went through his personal things. After spending 2 months in Ukraine, I returned to visit him for 3 months and worrying about his activities while I was gone I went through his email, internet history, text messages, IG etc. my suspicions were confirmed that he was watching porn, sent messages to prostitutes, met with at least 2 of them, looks at escorts and other women on IG constantly. While I was there he was communicating with some trans girls about seeing them once I have left. He also kept looking up porn girls, prostitutes etc. while I was there. He claims he has not had a drink in many years, but I know from his journals etc. that it isn’t true. He wrote about wanting to stop PMO, all the bad behavior with women and the cheating and lying in general in his journal and I believe that, but he is clearly not doing a good job at it. We do have sex every or every other day when we are together, but the DE is somewhat of a problem and I generally have a stronger sex drive than him, but maybe it is because of all his other behavior that he doesn’t want it more often. I am conflicted about confronting him as I should not have snooped. I am also worried that this whole relationship can not work and makes no sense with his many problems. I am moving to Canada in 2 months and we are talking about him moving there too in the next 6 months so we can be together and start a family. I am confused because I trust his feelings for me but what if he can never change? I am not hurt by his behavior as I know It has nothing to do with his emotions or feelings for me but I am angry about his lies and find myself doubting his honesty regarding other things. How can I trust him when he is lying to me? And should I try to confront him even though he might just hide his activities better, but might not change and then I won’t be able to control his behavior? I have tried to condense the information, so as not to make this too long, so hopefully this makes sense Thanks for any thoughts or recommendations!!