Starting probably my hardest journey ever. Advice and help much appreciated.

So here i am guys, Sick and tired of porn and mastrubation starting my new journey now with hope without failing as i have done many times before.

My porn addiction has been there for years and i have even been aware of it for the last two years. it started from the beginning slowly when i was around 7 or 8 when me and and my friend out curiosity watched a porn video for the first time but i did not start to fap until i was 12-13 when i hit puberty and that is when the real addiction begun, For the last five years, i have been fapping up to some days 5 or 6 times a day, watching and testing tons of porn on different sites even porn games etc etc.

For the last two years i have made several non-serious attempts to quit porn which obviously ended in failure and this last year i feel like porn has taken over my lifer even more when i even have payed for different porn sites this year, YES i have payed for porn sites, pathetic i know.

So now i am dropping all of my poker cards on the table to win, to challenge my porn addiction seriously for the first time in my 20 year old life and break the shit of this addiction because this addiction has caused me into depression and other shit, I have not been with a real girl for the last 1 and a half year, I am too scared of telling my parents or my friends about this even if i know they probably would support me (i hope) because i feel that this is too taboo to speak with anyone of my closest.

So i am asking new as old nofappers for every advice you have for me, just throw it out for me.

Excuse my bad English since it is not my first language.

 

@LakeMichigan Thank you sir for you advices. I feel so relived only to have written about my thoughts about pmo and my addiction, i have just kept these thoughts in mind for too long and for the first time in my life feel motivated and optimistic to quit porn and mastrubation.

I wish you luck on your goals as well, i will follow your progress!