Streak of Bad Days

Saturday night when I went to bed I masturbated in my sleep. This is something I've talked about in previous threads. It's not a wet dream. I unintentionally, in my sleep, strip naked and start touching myself. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but anyway I sleep masturbated. Now I had been going through a long PMO-free streak. I'm not sure how long it was. My counter said 115 days, but I don't think it had been quite that long. Also I had gone for over a month without sleep masturbating. I was so happy that I wasn't watching porn, masturbating, and even masturbating in my sleep. So after I had masturbated in my sleep I felt that feeling of guilt and shame that all of us have probably felt after PMOing. I also felt like my anxiety and OCD got worse which is also something I noticed after relapsing in the past. So after this sleep masturbating incident I felt pretty down, but then i realized that it wasn't my fault. I didn't do it intentionally and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I still felt a little down cause it had been so long since that had happened to me and I honestly thought it wouldn't happen again. Then yesterday I went for drive to do a little shopping at a couple stores. It was a beautiful day, but the problem was I was dealing with a lot of brain fog when was driving. I was driving slower than I usually do and my mind just wasn't alert and clear. I found myself getting distracted. I wasn't getting distracted by my phone or electronic device or anything in the car. My mind was just wondering. This led me to make some mistakes behind that wheel that could've really been bad. I know how to drive and when i'm focused and alert I like to think that I'm a pretty good driver, but yesterday with my brain fog I really made some silly mistakes. Luckily I didn't get in an accident. So at one of the stores I went to yesterday I found a really nice ball cap. I tried the hat on and it was a little snug, but it didn't seem overly tight. It was fairly pricey. I thought I had enough money, but with tax it came out to be more money than I had on me so I ended up going home without the hat. On the way home the road was closed going the other way. I knew this cause I had seen it on my way to the store, but I had completely forgot about it. So I had to take a detour and the detour took me way out of my way. By that time it was rush hour and the traffic had gotten pretty bad. It took me forever to get home and once I finally did I pulled in front of my house, put the car in park, and I came in my pants. I guess it had something to do with how stressed out I was and also I think my penis is more sensitive since I masturbated in my sleep Saturday night. Well today I drove out to the same store to buy the hat. I went and bought it and decided to wear it home. So I took all the stickers off including the price tag. As I was driving home the more time went on I began to realize the hat I had bought was too small. I went inside my house and went nuts. I was screaming at myself telling myself how stupid I am. I spent $37 on a hat that was too small for me. Then I thought "Well I'll just return it", but I remembered that as I was walking out of the store I threw out my receipt. That's when I really went nuts. I tried to relax and take some deep breaths. I then tried to eat lunch and I told myself to just relax and try to think of solution later. As I was eating lunch I noticed how sensitive my penis was. I felt like at any moment I was going to ejaculate. it was the same feeling I had gotten yesterday when I actually came in my pants. I thought I was going to cum in my pants again. So once again I tried to calm down. Well i couldn't stand the stress anymore and the feeling that I was going to cum any second. So what did I do? I PMO'd 3 times. I was just so stressed out and I already felt like I was going to cum. I definitely could've stopped myself, however it would've been very difficult. I know it's so silly to get so stressed out over hat, but it was a lot of money. Part of the blame goes to the fact that I masturbated in my sleep Saturday. That's what made my penis so sensitive and I probably made it even more sensitive PMOing today. It's just when I felt so stressed and when I feel like I'm about to cum I can't think straight. The one thing I hope doesn't happen after this relapse is that I start to regularly masturbate in my sleep again. That would be terrible. I'm just so devastated that I let myself do that. I mean, if i masturbate in my sleep or cum in my pants out of stress that's not intentional. It doesn't count as a relapse. But I let myself PMO. After what was probably 115 PMO free days I relapsed. Lately I've just been so happy. Without PMO in my life I feel happy and I feel like I can take on anything. PMO destroys my mental sharpness, my confidence, and my happiness. One thing I thought of that would be a good solution to when I get extremely stressed out and want to PMO would be to go for a run or go to the gym. I recently got a gym membership and working out is such a stress reliever to me. Just even going to the park by my house and going for a run would totally relax me and kill the urge. I honestly thought I would never PMO again after my last urge, but obviously I was wrong. I definitely think that if I went for a run at my local park it would've made a huge difference and I probably wouldn't have PMO'd. Another lesson I learned it that I should never buy a hat unless it fits me perfectly and also to hold onto receipts. I'm really regetting going to buy that hat, but I guess it taught me some valuable lessons. I just hope this extreme penis sensitivity goes away and also that I don't routinely start masturbating in my sleep again. It's really unfortunate that I had to reset my counter and start all over again after going past the 100 day mark, but I can't change the past. I just have to move on and learn from my mistakes.