The Lord of the Rings Challenge

I love this song!!!

 

Day 0
I have been binging very badly after my 45 days streak was broken

I partially blame this because I was not at all active here with my progress and all.
And it is tiring to start it all again and fail.
I m tired of trying again and again..

Today my head feels like it is exploding. Brain fog and dopamine depletion like anything..
And it feels like I am trapped

I need to practice power ups but I have no motivation to do anything.

I been fighting since two year it is all waste as I could achieve nothing

I had lot of mental health issues which are 90% resolved thanks to God
These issues were making it hard for me to recover and were causes of most of my relapses.
But everything is fixed now except my addict brain
I feel really bad about my relapses
I just feel ashamed to stand in front of God for forgiveness again n again..

So i really need some tips and strategies..
That really applies to my situation
Would b appreciated

 

Day 199. Checking in!

 

Day 1. checking in.
I feel great , i had today lot of work so i didnt think about Porn or masturbation.
Im not scared about first week , but for second ,because there i relapse oftenly.
Be strong guys, and good luck.

 

Day 321.

 

6 days, I've been okay so far, those were easy days, my goal is at least 30 days so let's hope all of them will be as easy haha. I don't study enough, I have to so that's what I doing right now. I hate it but I'll love it once I'm in in it.

 

Day 96. Had a really nice weekend. Looking forward to the week. I would like to take more time to journal as I have let it fall by the wayside recently.

 

amazing @Johnthesavage!! Keep it up. You are an inspiration

 

Incredible @HE^MAN !!!

 

Day 9 check-in, having a tough time, have been thinking about porn all day today. I'm trying to distract myself and get some work done. I feel like if I can make it through today it will be a big win for me

 

Sunday check in. Can't remember which forum I posted about being exhausted yesterday but regardless happy to report I had no issues and am looking ahead at a great week. Stay strong y'all!

 

Day 2,

Spring break is a breath of fresh air. I hit a wall last week.

Best to you all Fellowship!

 

Sunday

30 Days, here I am in Rivendell! What a relief. I'm looking around for my comrade Rise to Greatness...

Another short-term goal accomplished! Time to set another one.

 

Thanks bro - Lifesaver as always!

Holiday plan #1 check into my fellowship daily and report

- Just so I am clear I was not fishing or even thinking about it when this random text came out of the blue, but my initial response was yes a fish - nothing came of it though, I blocked the address and deleted the text. Just that one response decision though, opened up all sorts of urges today - as clearly the deltafosb highway had been opened and the habitual neuro pathways light up again. However, I have not succumbed to it.

I had a plan for the rest of the week, but just wasn't expecting to crash so heavily when I stopped work - like I literally collapsed on the couch and fell asleep in the middle of the day. Hard to stay alert then when exhaustion kicks in along with all the other depression pieces. So I was not prepared for that. Just doing stuff isn't always the answer, as I clearly need to rest and find restful things to do that do not lead to boredom or fantasy, and then most importantly I need to use the time to connect.

Anyway back on track, due in no small part to this Fellowship (yet again) - So Thanks again!

Checking in today day 116

Here is my weekly checkin with Freedom Fight ( this episode has taught me that once a week is way too little, and I need to up the ante)

What is the lowest level you reached on the FASTER scale this week and what behavior in that level most resonated with you?

EXHAUSTION
1a. How does this behavior affect me? (How do I act and feel?)
weak and out of control
1b. How does this behavior affect the important people in my life?
I cannot connect to them, or even be nice, as I am under a cloud
1c. What is the double bind that is driving me down the scale?
not wanting to accept that life is impermanent, and so clinging to the intense pleasures that make it feel permanent
1d. What did you do, or do you need to do, to return to restoration? (Resolve D, B, etc.)
BRACE, rest, connect to my core, face impermanence
2. What was your commitment to change last week?
Deeper connection to self, identify the double binds, face down the fears buried inside
Stop flirting
3. How many check ins did you make?
Once since last Sunday - too little I know
4. Did you lie to anyone directly or indirectly this week?
No one except myself when I responded to the text I received last night
I also flattered a woman in work which I had promised myself I wouldn't so again betrayed myself
5. What area(s) do I need to change?
Stopping all flirting, even if this means I am not popular
More connection to the core, to the reality of impermanence
Ask for help from the saints and angels
What will I do specifically?
Follow the week plan - 1/4 reflections (incl checkins) 1/4 activity 1/4 exercise 1/4 rest
7. What challenge do I need to face in the upcoming week (productivity vs. procrastination, reaching out vs. isolation, facing the pain vs. ignoring it, doing the hard thing vs. taking the easy way out)?
Facing the pain, connecting to the core, going beyond the loneliness, asking God for help

 

Thanks man, appreciate it and very grateful of your prayers - the Big Man will know who crazyhorse11 is I am sure
Back on track now thank God
How are you getting on? How is the battle?

 

238 days

 

DAY-6 CHECKING IN!!

 

back to 0

had a fight last night with my girlfriend. spend the night sleeping on the couch. POM in the middle of the night from a combination of all the bad emotions in the world...