Checking in friends - resisting the urges over the weekend paid great dividends today and I was able to do a load of outdoor work. Forget sometimes how much bigger our capacity for work becomes when we refrain from PMO. Also had a good connection with my father today which is very good and which would not have happened had I succumbed to the temptations. Thank you thank you thank Fellowship & @RiseToGreatness - This right here is a virtual Rivendell, a refuge, and I would be lost without it because this is where the accountability, support and camaraderie lies. What an amazing forum doing amazing such amazing work !!!
I’m back to day zero again, and I read the above post about accountability. I will start by beginning a 3-day challenge while I get started on my LotR journey again.
Day 3, Got a run in and enjoying spring break! Just nice to not have the pressure of school (still there, but much more chill) Wishing you all the best Fellowship
Day 0 I snapped like a twig and had a binge. Feeling frustrated and disenhartened, but I will prevail
What did you learn about yourself from this relapse? What led to the fall? What were your triggers? Were you tired? Bored? Stressed out? Were you fishing or fantasizing beforehand? What would you do differently next time? You have to examine what went wrong, and modify your plan accordingly, if you want to prevail.
Okay, Monday check-in Today has been hard. Not so much because of cravings, more because I am feeling low-energy and lonely. A bit sad, directionless, overwhelmed. It's hard to focus. I barely got anything done today. I got to thinking about my ex and our breakup, always a sure sign that I'm not anchored enough in the moment. I've worked through it pretty well in the last year or so, but it still comes up to bite me. I was also worried about the future. How am I going to make a living? Where am I going to end up? I've been praying that God might make me open and receptive to whatever he has in store for me. Pain is not bad per se, and I know that bad feelings will pass. Not everything is bad, though! I've noticed my voice has gotten deeper! My thoughts, though still unfocused, are much clearer than three weeks ago. I've gotten more articulate and confident in my speech, whereas under the curse of porn I would often stumble to express myself, the right word just always a little beyond the horizon of my conscious mind. Today I prayed and meditated. I spent 35 seconds under cold water. I took two great walks. I shaved this weekend, too, and now have a mustache instead of a huge unkempt beard. The mustache by itself is a source of power, a sign that the barbarian has arrived. I've also noticed that I'm looking more muscular, despite being a little heavier than I ought to be. NoFap powers are real. I'm finally starting to feel like NoFap is about gaining benefits and not about giving something up. But feelings, though nice, don't get you through. They're simply the effects of your actions. I have to rebuild positive, salutary habits. That is my mission this week. Wherever you are on your journeys, fellows, keep going!
It makes me happy to read about other people doing well on their NoFap journeys, because I know I'll be in your shoes soon. As for me, the taste of the hobbit life was sweet, but I'm still an orcish slave of porn evil. Back to Day 0. The ironclad, undeniable trend continues: I went for a long run this morning, about 8 miles, and ended up MOing later in the day. This is the single greatest frustration of my NoFap journey. I love running so much, I love exercising and staying in shape, but it's tearing me down just as much as it's building me up.
Day 0: After few days of chaser effect, I have high clarity today. Although I relapsed in the morning but I'm ready to start my journey once again. I watch LOTR for the first time today, only for 2hours though. Going to finish LOTR 1 tomorrow or maybe in two days. I really like the story, it's different than Hobbit. I watched Hobbit when I was a kid couple of years ago, like the trilogy but wasn't really into it. But LOTR is different, every time I see the ring trick people in LOTR, it reminds me how bad PMO is.
