The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in. Second vaccine shot Friday completely wrecked me all weekend but I’m happy to report no real urges, and my streak continues. Solid night of sleep and starting the day strong with exercise and lots of QT with my son. It’s a busy work week so my mantra is Focus. Be well everyone.

 

Checking in. Strong urge this morning disappeared putting more effort on work.

St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!

 

I have been away for quite some time now, thinking to myself that I would come back once i had a "respectable streak" so that I wouldn't feel frustrated to start from the beginning. Well it was all bullshit, I was doing much better on the NoFap journey last year and i want to get back to that!

I have been relapsing quite badly for the past few days because of university stress, I need to get this addiction under control so I can one day finally beat it for good.

I'm definitely happy to be back here, I have noticed that the road to sobriety is much darker when you are trying to go through it alone.

Onward!

 

Day 32 trod on

 

Thank you fellow Elf, much appreciated. Love the wise words

 

day 21! Visited the succubus realm last night in my dreams and I watched them as they were harvesting the energy from some kind of pits. I think it was due to my earlier attempt to learn how to spot and describe better the vampiric traits of the succubus personality as for me to be more aware if some thoughts are actually not mine, but they are an exposure to something subtle.
Got back to work, which is pretty great as I am using my energy to work and think about productive stuff, while being exposed to other people's ideas! Anyway... Cold showers as always! And I recommend them... As always!

 

Well, had some urges through the night and in the morning but after meditation and 4 miles run they kind of disappeared. Tried 2nd meditation but it didn't work well and somewhere in the middle had to lie down. Sprained finger when tried to climb metal fence in my yard and thinking that I might skip gym tomorrow because of it.Done a bit of important stuff after some 3 months or more of procrastination and probably spent 2+hours watching youtube videos and now I gonna try a get some quality sleep cos there was way too much noise outside last night, which woke me up at 2am....No cold shower today, though.

 

Brothers! Nice to check-in here again. Everything is doing awsomely fine.

I went camping on this weekend with some bros. Spend time in the nature makes a huge difference for me. I could see the clearest sky at night I've ever seen. Also went to see the canyons. Here at the south of Brazil we have lots of incredible geomorphology, I'll share some pics when my friend send it me.

Right now I'm feeling the peak of the powers, but I'm also aware that the urges will continualy grow until, sooner or later, the flatline arise. I' guess I had never passed throught it and I kinda fear it's effects

I' won't be checking in everyday, I found out that I end up being harmfully influenced when I spend too much time in here, guess it happens when I fill my mind up with too much info about P and M that it makes me more likely to relapse. I'll try my best to find the balance between engaging and being apart, but it defenetly doesn't mean that I'll leave NF.

Keep up, fellow brothers!!

 

295 days

 

Monday check-in

Nice weekend with the family. I am feeling really strong, confident, and positive today.

I'll try to say more tomorrow, I'm short on time now. I'm still struggling as far as the "big picture" goes, but for now I'll just say that I think God intervened to give me some better perspective yesterday.

PS, this past week was my first full PMO-free week since before Easter!

 

Day 154. I have definitely noticed that I have a more realistic view of women and do not objectify them in the way that I used to. I have a friend who uses porn and doesn't understand why I am doing this. It is frustrating to hear the common phrases of addiction like "I can quit anytime I want". He objectifies women in a way that really bothers me. He will look at girls that are not even particularly attractive and sexualize them. It gets really boring and predictable. I wish he would see how porn is negatively impacting him but I have given up trying to point this out to him.

 

Day 43

 

Day 43 check-in (Attempt 4) - The pass of Caradhras

 

Day 5

I haven’t had a strike this good in a long time, and I just want keep going.

Last night was the first time my will was tested. I found myself alone at 1am sitting on my computer after I’ve finished studied and my brain was just tired, and my mind was just going “porn?” without me even thinking it or even wanting it or even being all that horny, it was just a thing that happen when I was on my computer alone.

So I actually talk to myself for a minute telling myself that I don’t even want to look at porn. So I got up and want to bad feeling like a champion.

 

No PMO: Day 14 (only 3 day is left to beat my highest streak)
Meditation: Yes I did it
Excercise: Yes I did it

 

Day 3