Prefontaine20
New Fapstronaut
Hello Everyone,
After years and years of so much pain, sadness, anxiety, depression, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and more, I have finally come to realize where the root of it all started. Just at a simple click of a button.
I have a beautiful loving and caring girlfriend. We just moved in together a few months ago with a beautiful lake in our backyard. We now have a handsome bulldog. But sadly, even this has not cured any of those diagnosis's.
I had the world at my fingertips. Football/basketball/lacrosse player in HS and lacrosse for part part of college, but I never felt fulfilled. Now I know why.
I saw therapists/doctors/been in and out of psych hospitals trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I remember a Doctor telling me at one point that he was unsure of my diagnosis. He did not want to say bipolar due to it being too extreme, and not depression because a lot of people had much more serious issues than me. Little did he know what was going on in my head.
I have been so quiet about this addiction because I did not believe it was true. It couldn't be an actual addiction. I would be pathetic in saying web caming and porn could be an addiction. Little did I know what was going on in MY head.
I have blown money away that I don't have. I have said "just this last time" way too many times. And I am tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a lost soul. I am tired of the routine and road I am going down. I want to live. I want to know what feelings are again. I want to be proud of myself for something I overcame.
I have quit and tapped out of so many things in my life. I want to be an adult. I feel as though I am living this life of just being a kid. I can't be Peter Pan my whole life. I'm ready to take the next step to becoming a new person. A person I know I can and should be. I feel as though I have so much potential and I can't imagine what life will be like when I kick this stupid addiction that has ruined my life for far too long.
If anyone reading this can give me hope and advice on how to do this, I would greatly appreciate it. I know this is going to be extremely difficult, but if I don't do this now, I will lose those who love me that should really see how much I love them.
Thank you
After years and years of so much pain, sadness, anxiety, depression, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and more, I have finally come to realize where the root of it all started. Just at a simple click of a button.
I have a beautiful loving and caring girlfriend. We just moved in together a few months ago with a beautiful lake in our backyard. We now have a handsome bulldog. But sadly, even this has not cured any of those diagnosis's.
I had the world at my fingertips. Football/basketball/lacrosse player in HS and lacrosse for part part of college, but I never felt fulfilled. Now I know why.
I saw therapists/doctors/been in and out of psych hospitals trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I remember a Doctor telling me at one point that he was unsure of my diagnosis. He did not want to say bipolar due to it being too extreme, and not depression because a lot of people had much more serious issues than me. Little did he know what was going on in my head.
I have been so quiet about this addiction because I did not believe it was true. It couldn't be an actual addiction. I would be pathetic in saying web caming and porn could be an addiction. Little did I know what was going on in MY head.
I have blown money away that I don't have. I have said "just this last time" way too many times. And I am tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a lost soul. I am tired of the routine and road I am going down. I want to live. I want to know what feelings are again. I want to be proud of myself for something I overcame.
I have quit and tapped out of so many things in my life. I want to be an adult. I feel as though I am living this life of just being a kid. I can't be Peter Pan my whole life. I'm ready to take the next step to becoming a new person. A person I know I can and should be. I feel as though I have so much potential and I can't imagine what life will be like when I kick this stupid addiction that has ruined my life for far too long.
If anyone reading this can give me hope and advice on how to do this, I would greatly appreciate it. I know this is going to be extremely difficult, but if I don't do this now, I will lose those who love me that should really see how much I love them.
Thank you
