This might not be what you are expecting to find.

I just wanted to express this feeling somewhere. This is my first post in this page and i guess i will start by introducing myself. I'm just a normal 20yo guy who studies at univeristy, does some exercice and hang out time to time.

Short introduction aside main subject comes which is... I started feeling guilty doing it around 18yo (short after entering university). It wasn't anymore just a relieving-to do when bored thing, it actually started to feel bad afterwards. The realization that womans are being treated like objects but that it excites me. As an adult, part of the society and being with moral i feel hypocite if on one hand i respect woman and on the other i beat the meat.


My theory comes as following:
It's an age-dependant factor+ working matters a lot.

For example as teenager i had both, strict routine 8h of school of focus and homework on one side and on the other, well... horny teenager. As highschool student it was more or less the same but being more stupid which i'm not really proud of.
Entering university it all changed. I am not that horny as i developed a logical behaviour regarding most of my concerns and i don't drive by emotions. Also on the other side i don't specially love my career (don't get me wrong i think everyone has to contribute and in my case i don't specially like any work) choice so studying feels heavier than ever. In school or highschool there was the "competition" thing, the "i don't want to fall behind them" thing... But right now as adults I don't feel it, it's different, not getting results it's just depressing. Here we have the lack of both factors, as adults some things changed but ALSO HAPPENED that i don't work as hard as before.

In summary...Migh NOT FAPPING really change anything?
I have gone at much 3 weeks since age 13. When i get around 1 week i feel lively full of energy and good to go but i feel the habit really root deep within me.

Any oppinions are welcomed and thanks for reading this if you got to this point.