Tired of being 'Average'

What realy helped me step up from the crowd was a saying that stoped me from being a people pleaser and worring what others said it was '" I AM NOT FOR EVERYBODY"

 

Game on brother!

That's so true dude! a great man once said "average fucking sucks!" I'm totally in line with that. I get it. Im on day two of no pmo but im not going fucking back to that lifestyle of Porn addiction. I don't care if it kills me. Thanks for your post bro

 

I like your mentality! been telling myself the same thing. the reality though is that PMO has MADE us average. BEFORE PMO, I was far above average. and then I became weak and inferior the moment I started down this path. so if you do nofap I am confident you will enable yourself to reach max potential. PMO has been holding us fellas back. that’s the truth

 

What average people do is seek comfort, certainty, easy, and instant gratification. Like porn, junk food, and binge watching television shows.

The moments to act that will actually change your life are usually scary, uncomfortable, uncertain, difficult, and delayed gratification. So it's usually something that you're not going to feel like doing.

What's comfortable now (porn) becomes uncomfortable later (addiction).

What's uncomfortable now (developing your reality) becomes comfortable later (building a life you're proud of).

It's easy to do big inconsistent things when you're motivated. It's not so easy to focus on the small things done consistently over a long period of time (even when you don't feel like doing them) that leads to the big delayed gratifications. One brick at a time and one day you'll have a wall, but most people will wait until they're motivated to take action and inconsistently lay 50 bricks at a time and end up with an unfinished wall.

Do the scary, difficult, and uncertain thing that you know you should be doing to become the person you want to be and to have the life that you want to have. If you're not doing something that scares you or something that might not work on a consistent basis, then you're not really pushing yourself beyond what the average person does.

PMO doesn't make you average. It's your desire to escape life's pain, problems, and negative experiences that make you average. PMO is just the vehicle for that escape.

 

You guys are right on the money. Pmo isn't the problem, it's the solution to the problem, which is me. but I can change me by having a consistent routine of healthy habits.
I'm on day 3 no pmo, first time of nofap at the moment and I'm just soaking up everything on this site. Gonna do 30 min meditation, then go for a jog. Thanks fellas

 

Congrats for your sharing
Thanks for being here and for doing your best

3 quotes to start with and 3 questions

Where there is comparing there is suffering

When you don't like what you see change your point of view

May the insight of the connectedness of all things help us to transcend the inferiority complex the superiority complex and the equality complex.

As others said average is a judgment that mostly depends on others looks. Is it helpful to judge myself or when such a thoughr arise should I just observe it grow vanisih and let it pass like 90% of useless thought the brain produces?

If we look at Maslow's pyramid then we can see approval as a basic need but that does not mean we need to become someone else why don't you want to be an average person? Who/what in you is fighting this concept?

The winners right history so it is probably true that some people will tell you how extraordinary their life is but many people with a lot of sex money power or fame have committed suicide so these are not the determinant of a happy life.
Our culture emphasize on leadership but do you think not average people are happier?


I strongly believe that wisdom is 'earning to be happy with what we have that their is nothing to attain because in the end we all finish the same and that comparing always emphasize on small aspects and forgets most of the picture. So when comparison arise I just say thank you and let it pass.

I wish you a happy continuation

Stay strong we do this together

 

I like your thoughts. Our case isn't different. I'm with you.. good luck

 

In the same boat and have the same perception as you. In my case I am at least ten pounds fat in the belly, a constant reminder of bad habits from the past and need to hit the gym more often.

 

This is really very profound, and I definitely needed to read this. I think the problem stems from a sense of undeserved ego, that blinds us to the reality that we arent really trying as hard as we could be. Having said that, I dont think being average is always a bad thing; for example I would like to take up drawing for fun again at some point, after years of not doing it due to other commitments, but I have no intention of being amazing at it, just competent enough to accomplish my own personal goal with it. Thats the main thing to be getting at here; its all about getting out of something what you specifically want, not being beholden to the expectations of others or unrealistic and idealised fantasy. NoFap is the best example of this I think, whether you want to go a single day without PMO, or the rest of your life, its all about putting in the effort and time to accomplish what YOU want and not letting your own brains desire to quit get in the way.

Great post, really great post.

 

Very true when we have ego and self esteem problems.

Yes, this also applies to our life situation as well. If we are not happy about it, we should change our perception and take action to improve it.

You are right, we all die, so it won't matter in the end what we have or did not have. One should embrace impermanence and that nothing last forever in this life. People often say " All good things come to an end" but one should also believe this applies to bad things as well, as long as we do not stay attached to the past. By the way, very well written and love the Buddhist wisdom you shared

 

I will check it out. Thanks

 

I remember before I was addicted to pmo, I was so smart, good grades and fast learning. After PMO, my brain was never like that again, had hard times to stay focused, to learn and memorize things. I had no difficult to make friends, but everything fucked up when I found porn! No more! I'm done with that shit. I'm glad to have found this thread, because I'll work harder to evolve effectively.

 

Now it's time to show what you're made of now.