Top 10 Problems with the NoFap website and r/NoFap

I agree with your post. The main problem i see is that NoFap was promoted as a magic solution for all problems you have or an extremist group that spreads misoginy, homophobia, racism, etc and those fake news attracted bad intended people to promote more fake news or sell unuseful courses and earn money.

 

I'm just a Conspiracy Theorist who believes in diversity.

 

/Nofap isn't a serious place, it's just memes and there's actually quite a lot of triggering content posted there that no one seems to care about.

I think this site is fine and most issues are unavoidable. My main problem is that a lot of people seem to be a little myopic in that if they haven't experienced something themselves then that thing is therefore not real, they need to realise that not everyone here is starting from the same point. Some have been very seriously affected by this addiction whilst for others it's just a bit of a bad habit that they'd rather do without, both ends of the spectrum need to realise this.

My only other slight gripe is people not bothering to reset their counter and just letting it run into the hundreds - which often leads to confusion when trying to address certain posts.

 

I agree there are some people who claim exaggerated benefits but it's worse on social media. On Twitter, this guy claimed he could levitate after rebooting.

I don't think this forum is an echo chamber. You have a number of people with different viewpoints. Yes, there are quite a lot of conservatives here but there are left-leaning people as well. It should be expected that a lot of conservatives are here since they tend to be more against porn than liberals. I'm a liberal who's in liberal Facebook groups and most people in the groups are in favour of porn. Most in the group think porn is fantastic and porn addiction isn't real. Anyone who disagrees with them is mocked and personally attacked.

Some members go over the top in debates. We don't need to see pages of two people arguing. It's obvious you both disagree so there's no need to keep on with it. It would be better if someone summed up what they thought in one response and let the whole thing go.

I have a private counter on my phone. I used to have it on this site but some people started using it against me. Also, I don't the number of days is so important. For me building character is more important than the number of days I'm on. There is nothing admirable about someone who is on 1,0000-plus days but behaves like a real jerk.

 

I'll be 100% honest, if it weren't for my accountability partner (who checks on me daily), I would have quit this site a long time ago. I was rather annoyed that this site contains "banned words" that we aren't allowed to post (I'm a stickler for freedom of speech), and that certain comments (including one of my own) get removed if the algorithm or moderators don't like it. Again, I'm only still using this site because of my accountability partner; I'd be gone otherwise.

I was just speaking with my accountability partner about this. I understand that there are religious users here who are against masturbation in all forms. On the other hand, there are those who view it as normal for releasing excess sexual tension (provided it isn't being doing with porn as a stimulant). On the other hand, I've seen threads where men claim that masturbation dulls a man's sensitivity to real sex, resulting in erectile dysfunction. I personally can't attest to that, but in the end, I'm willing to boil it down to different strokes (no pun intended) for different folks. If some guys find that they are chronically masturbating and experiencing negative results in their day-to-day performance, then I would treat it as a compulsive problem that those guys should consider quitting.

I haven't specifically run into any right-wing ideologies myself, but I think I understand where this comes from. Most of the right wing commentary stems more from a rejection of the excesses of modernity as opposed to an actual partisan affiliation. In other words, the guys who espouse these views are projecting their problems onto a larger societal context (if we got rid of porn and modern degeneracy, then quitting would be easier and relationships more accessible). People with less success in a certain area of life will welcome regulation to improve their current lot or their chances to succeed.

Again, I think it should be treated as a case of different strokes for different folks. So long as the person giving advice prefaces it by stating that this is what worked for him/her/them, then I have no issue with that. Sadly, many people who offer advice are self-extrapolating; they often have this mentality that says if I can do it, then you can do it!

This right here is my biggest pet peeve with Nofap as a whole. This talk of superpowers is incredibly annoying; I think the results people see has more to do with their genetics. How deep your voice is is genetic, for example. As for women finding a guy more attractive, I think this is largely false; most likely Nofap being oversold as a cure-all. So many guys - much like the right wing types you alluded to - want to believe that by eliminating that one thing, everything else will turn around for the better. Sadly, the real-world isn't so simple.

I may be alone in thinking this, but I think the best thing to anticipate during recovery is having more time on your hands to pursue a more fulfilling life. When I gave up porn (which included the time spent surfing adult sites), excessive gaming, social media and binge watching shows, I was surprised at how much time I suddenly had. It's not that there were suddenly more hours in the day, but rather I got rid of so many needless distractions. That gave me the freedom and time to pursue new hobbies and interests, or return to interests that I had put off for so long (such as joining a boxing gym).

No two people are going to have the same recovery, but I think everyone needs to decide for themselves what to do with that freedom. I realized early on that if I treated Nofap as a way to get all these vain benefits (deeper voice, girls, etc), then I would feel stupid when those benefits were lacking or underwhelming, which in turn would trigger a relapse (what's the point if I don't have X or Y?). I think recovery should be treated as freedom, and freedom meaning the chance to rediscover yourself. However, that's just me.

I know that the first few times is especially difficult, but I think I understand why this happens. I've spoken to a few guys here so far: some of them were alcoholics, while others had sissy fetishes that spiraled out of control. Most of the time, they were coping with unresolved issues that had plagued them since childhood, and, when left unresolved, only led them back to their addiction over and over. I went for nearly 40 days without M, until a personal disappointment I recently experienced sent me down a path of negative emotions, and before long I was masturbating again (albeit not to porn either time). I then saw that in my specific case, my triggers were more emotional rather than sexual in nature. Again, this is just me, but it was easier to get back on track once I dealt with that problem.

Meanwhile, I made a decision to stop tracking the days. If you hit a certain "streak," only to slip and start all over, it will just make you feel even worse about your failure, prompting an emotional race to the bottom and then a relapse. I saw that trap for what it was, and I decided not to fall into it. Besides, I'm not interested in a streak, which to me implies that I'm in a competition. Remember when we used to play the silent game as kids (Let's see who can stay quiet the longest)? That isn't a lifestyle change; that's a game, one that obviously isn't sustainable in the long term. This should be a lifestyle change, which means it should last until we die, not for a select number of days, implying that it's not sustainable. Besides, even experienced people in any given context will slip and make mistakes; I've seen seasoned musicians hit the wrong key during performances, and seasoned actors forget their lines sometimes, or laugh while on stage. That doesn't mean they should go back to their performing arts school and begin their freshmen year all over again; it's a mistake that occurred because they're human. This is why I disagree with the counter/counting system. You can do something for years and still mess up at times, but that doesn't mean you're suddenly a beginner again with all your experience down the toilet.

Also, especially for us guys, one thing about Nofap that I dislike is the poor distinction between a natural sexual urge and a so-called trigger. I know different people have different takes, but some guys on here say that they are feeling tempted, when I sometimes suspect that it's just their natural sex drive returning to normal. Porn makes it harder to get turned on, but that's not supposed to be the case; it supposed to be easy for men to get aroused naturally. Having been raised religious, I know all too well the notion of demonizing natural urges.

Agreed. Everyone's experience will be different, and this always has to be reinforced often. Sadly, too many people want to run another man's race, and then get disappointed when they don't see results.

 

Glad you stayed. I appreciate your posts.

 

I think NoFap is what you make it. A lot of people are critical of the arguments (I've been part of few) but honestly I kinda like it, better than constantly relapsing at least.