War on Porn

My heart is with you, but my head says porn isn't going away any time soon.

To be honest, I'm not so sure it's all about simply abstaining from porn. The trouble with getting fired up or relying on will power is that sooner or later we get tired. What we need to do is find something other than porn to think about. That means reading a book, going outside and meeting people, exercising, meditating and so on.

The way to win the war on porn isn't by trying to kill it. The way to win the war on porn is to simply leave the battlefield in contempt, because we have better things to do.

 

To beat something this physically harmless, yet mentally insidious requires attitude overhaul and reversal. We cannot go on the same way, like @Porn Free Wanderer said, you'll tire eventually.

Vow to yourself to never waste your masculine energy, your essence, your libido, your sexuality alone ever again. You can look at all the porn in the world. If you choose to live at a higher standard, to save your energy for a special partner, then porn will lose its allure and thrilling hynoptic quality. It's tough, very tough.

If you don't fap, after awhile... there just aint no reason to even look anymore. Dont waste your sexual energy alone. The virility of young men, our youth, is pure magic. It's decaying and eroding away. Your life is a 3part play, a modern day tragedy. You wont be young forever and that burning sun will go away. Save it, channel it, and feel it- it's life.

I'll be 30 this year. This shit does not go away, it wont get better. There is no magical switch that'll flio and you'll be an adult, have a career, and be fine. Everything takes work, effort. Self-imposed sexual abuse and habits are work, they are effort, you have trained yourself; now untrain yourself. Find that fire, keep it in you, let it burn, and make someone else come help fan it. Don't do it yourself anymore!

 

You're very right! We have to stop just defending, We must attack too

 

I disagree. As well as with alcohol, which does not cause alcoholism (proof: not all people who drink it are alcoholics), porn itself does not cause the porn addiction. Addiction is a brain malfunction.

As for my personal experience, my urges are mostly not caused by porn. Watching porn is merely a result of my urges which come from constantly thinking about sex. The only thing I fight are my own thoughts, and so far this has eliminated my urges almost completely. I struggle with many things related to my addiction, but urges are not among them.

 

Well, sure, but if you will struggle with constant resets/relapses, please consider the possibility that your own approach doesn't work for you.

From my 4+ years of experience being a member of a 12-step community (and I'm clean from my other addictions for 4+ years as well), I can tell that people who fight usually loose. People who give up and leave their battlefields, usually survive. I've known many people who are dead now because of their inability to admit their loss against addictions. I am very sad about them, and that's why I decided to argue with you. I would like you to survive with me instead of falling with them.

 

And I never said you do. I said, "if you will". I wish you will be okay though.

I also did not suggest the "ignoring them or walking away" approach. My approach is "surrender, leave the battlefield and actively avoid any battles in the future". One cannot simply ignore their addiction and walk away, I've learned it the hard way. But surrendering is very different.