War on Porn

[Porn Killer]

I am not an expert. This is just a personal opinion and the method I use that works for me.

This is a call to arms.

Recently I changed my user name to Porn Killer. The reason is to remind myself of the approach I am taking while fighting this addiction.

As you are aware, fighting this addiction is an everyday battle. For a long time I would try to overcome this addiction but would always fail and I think because of my approach.

I think the reason many people relapse, including myself, is because we only RESIST the urge to go back to porn. But we shouldn’t just be on the defensive. We need to be on the offensive.

Don’t just resist urges for porn, we need to kill them. Don’t let porn beat up on you, fight back.

When you get urges, remember why you are having them. It’s because of porn. You let it into your life but now you want it gone. Don’t just ignore it until it goes away. Kick it out.

Focus your withdraw anger on what’s at fault, porn. It did this to you, don’t go back to it. Make yourself hate porn. Kick it in it’s teeth.

Everyday is a battle but we should turn it into a war. Porn is trying to destroy you. Kill it first.

To clarify: what I mean by “kill it” is to kill the desire to go back to porn. Kill the temptation.

Also: this is just the method that works for me. Everyone handles things differently.

 

[Porn Free Wanderer]

My heart is with you, but my head says porn isn't going away any time soon.

To be honest, I'm not so sure it's all about simply abstaining from porn. The trouble with getting fired up or relying on will power is that sooner or later we get tired. What we need to do is find something other than porn to think about. That means reading a book, going outside and meeting people, exercising, meditating and so on.

The way to win the war on porn isn't by trying to kill it. The way to win the war on porn is to simply leave the battlefield in contempt, because we have better things to do.

 

[PornFreeMe]

To beat something this physically harmless, yet mentally insidious requires attitude overhaul and reversal. We cannot go on the same way, like @Porn Free Wanderer said, you'll tire eventually.

Vow to yourself to never waste your masculine energy, your essence, your libido, your sexuality alone ever again. You can look at all the porn in the world. If you choose to live at a higher standard, to save your energy for a special partner, then porn will lose its allure and thrilling hynoptic quality. It's tough, very tough.

If you don't fap, after awhile... there just aint no reason to even look anymore. Dont waste your sexual energy alone. The virility of young men, our youth, is pure magic. It's decaying and eroding away. Your life is a 3part play, a modern day tragedy. You wont be young forever and that burning sun will go away. Save it, channel it, and feel it- it's life.

I'll be 30 this year. This shit does not go away, it wont get better. There is no magical switch that'll flio and you'll be an adult, have a career, and be fine. Everything takes work, effort. Self-imposed sexual abuse and habits are work, they are effort, you have trained yourself; now untrain yourself. Find that fire, keep it in you, let it burn, and make someone else come help fan it. Don't do it yourself anymore!

 

[Crimson Guard]

You're very right! We have to stop just defending, We must attack too

 

[Porn Killer]

My heart is with you, but my head says porn isn't going away any time soon.

To be honest, I'm not so sure it's all about simply abstaining from porn. The trouble with getting fired up or relying on will power is that sooner or later we get tired. What we need to do is find something other than porn to think about. That means reading a book, going outside and meeting people, exercising, meditating and so on.

The way to win the war on porn isn't by trying to kill it. The way to win the war on porn is to simply leave the battlefield in contempt, because we have better things to do.

I think you misunderstand me when I say “kill it.” The whole world is a battlefield, there is no leaving it. The desire will always try to find you.

What I mean by “kill it” is kill the desire to rely on porn, kill the temptation.

I know I have tried getting rid of the addiction by ignoring it and finding other things to think about. I have always relapsed.

This is merely the method I am using and is working for me. If it doesn’t for you that’s fine. We all handle things differently.

 

[LilD]

When you get urges, remember why you are having them. It’s because of porn.

I disagree. As well as with alcohol, which does not cause alcoholism (proof: not all people who drink it are alcoholics), porn itself does not cause the porn addiction. Addiction is a brain malfunction.

As for my personal experience, my urges are mostly not caused by porn. Watching porn is merely a result of my urges which come from constantly thinking about sex. The only thing I fight are my own thoughts, and so far this has eliminated my urges almost completely. I struggle with many things related to my addiction, but urges are not among them.

 

[Porn Killer]

To beat something this physically harmless, yet mentally insidious requires attitude overhaul and reversal. We cannot go on the same way, like @Porn Free Wanderer said, you'll tire eventually.

Vow to yourself to never waste your masculine energy, your essence, your libido, your sexuality alone ever again. You can look at all the porn in the world. If you choose to live at a higher standard, to save your energy for a special partner, then porn will lose its allure and thrilling hynoptic quality. It's tough, very tough.

If you don't fap, after awhile... there just aint no reason to even look anymore. Dont waste your sexual energy alone. The virility of young men, our youth, is pure magic. It's decaying and eroding away. Your life is a 3part play, a modern day tragedy. You wont be young forever and that burning sun will go away. Save it, channel it, and feel it- it's life.

I'll be 30 this year. This shit does not go away, it wont get better. There is no magical switch that'll flio and you'll be an adult, have a career, and be fine. Everything takes work, effort. Self-imposed sexual abuse and habits are work, they are effort, you have trained yourself; now untrain yourself. Find that fire, keep it in you, let it burn, and make someone else come help fan it. Don't do it yourself anymore!

I think we are on the same page. Just worded differently

 

[Porn Killer]

I disagree. As well as with alcohol, which does not cause alcoholism (proof: not all people who drink it are alcoholics), porn itself does not cause the porn addiction. Addiction is a brain malfunction.

As for my personal experience, my urges are mostly not caused by porn. Watching porn is merely a result of my urges which come from constantly thinking about sex. The only thing I fight are my own thoughts, and so far this has eliminated my urges almost completely. I struggle with many things related to my addiction, but urges are not among them.

But people who never drink alcohol never become alcoholics. Lol I get what you are saying and maybe you are different but being a porn addict is not the same as a sex addict.
A lot of people deeply addicted to porn don’t get off by normal sex.
Nevertheless my point was that porn is the problem so remember it’s the problem.

That being said if you still disagree, that’s fine. Like I said before, this mind set it just what’s helping me, we all handle things differently and if it don’t work for you, then that fine.

 

[LilD]

Well, sure, but if you will struggle with constant resets/relapses, please consider the possibility that your own approach doesn't work for you.

From my 4+ years of experience being a member of a 12-step community (and I'm clean from my other addictions for 4+ years as well), I can tell that people who fight usually loose. People who give up and leave their battlefields, usually survive. I've known many people who are dead now because of their inability to admit their loss against addictions. I am very sad about them, and that's why I decided to argue with you. I would like you to survive with me instead of falling with them.

 

[Porn Killer]

Well, sure, but if you will struggle with constant resets/relapses, please consider the possibility that your own approach doesn't work for you.

From my 4+ years of experience being a member of a 12-step community (and I'm clean from my other addictions for 4+ years as well), I can tell that people who fight usually loose. People who give up and leave their battlefields, usually survive. I've known many people who are dead now because of their inability to admit their loss against addictions. I am very sad about them, and that's why I decided to argue with you. I would like you to survive with me instead of falling with them.

Uh. I never said I struggle with relapse. I did when I used “think about other things” method. I’m having no struggle with relapse with my new approach.
Again, everyone handles things differently. For me, problems have never been resolved in my life by ignoring them or walking away from them. They have almost always been fix, in my life, when the problem is confronted.
That’s all I’m saying, some people can’t just walk away from the problem. Not everyone is the same.
Again it’s fine if you disagree, but I personally feel better and more motivated than ever.

 

[LilD]

I never said I struggle with relapse.

And I never said you do. I said, "if you will". I wish you will be okay though.

I also did not suggest the "ignoring them or walking away" approach. My approach is "surrender, leave the battlefield and actively avoid any battles in the future". One cannot simply ignore their addiction and walk away, I've learned it the hard way. But surrendering is very different.

 

[Porn Killer]

And I never said you do. I said, "if you will". I wish you will be okay though.

I also did not suggest the "ignoring them or walking away" approach. My approach is "surrender, leave the battlefield and actively avoid any battles in the future". One cannot simply ignore their addiction and walk away, I've learned it the hard way. But surrendering is very different.

Got ya, totally miss read that. And I understand stand what you mean by surrendering. I think what me and you think of as “fighting” is different. Maybe I just can’t articulate what I mean.
I have ADHD so my thinking process is different. But yea. Whatever the case I know you mean to help so thank you.