What’s your tips and tricks against stress/anxiety masturbating?

So, here it goes... I’ve been unsuccesfully trying to stop watching porn for about 7 years now. I managed several times to withstain for about a month, actually this year already 3 times, previous years it was once or twice. Those months I always feel very calm and confident, happier than ever. Sometimes then it’s curiosity that brings me back - watching or reading something from the past that I remember, thinking it won’t hurt to just spend 5 minutes, though it always does hurt of course. But most of the time it’s stress or anxiety, which I think is my main problem and I wanted to discuss with you all.

I usually go to masturbating to some kind of image or story (or even just a phrase) when I’m stressed, anxious or insecure. And the problem is: it works. I mean, just for a very short time: I forget what it is that I’m stressed about, because I distract myself with the most effective distraction that I know of. However, as soon as the bubble that I hide in in that way starts to lose its effect - I usually don’t come but edge for 10, 30 minutes, sometimes up to 1 or 2 hours - the source of my stress is obviously still there to hit me in the face even harder, plus on top of that I feel way shittier than I did before, because I just wasted a shitload of time on basically being a fucking teenager. But I can’t stop doing it, because whenever I’m in a stressfull situation again, there’s this voice in the back of my head again: “You know what you could do right now to make yourself feel better...?” And eventually, I always give in again.

Now, obviously I have a ton of blocked websites and search terms, but then I just get creative and eventually I’ll find something I can use to keep myself distracted and just turned on enough. What I do know that works, is simply walking away from the computer, or throwing my phone away. But the problem is, I have to be at the computer the whole day for my work, and if then I get stressed - which happens a lot at my work - and I’m working from home, or I’m alone at the office, and the urge gets high enough, there I go.

Yes, that’s right, I often masturbate and watch porn at work. It’s extremely embarrassing and extremely risky. As far as I know, I never got caught, but I can’t be sure if no one ever saw anything, especially since I often do freelance work for short periods of time.

Anyhow. Here’s to trying again. Today was worse than it has been for awhile. I just turned 37 a week ago. My girlfriend and I are trying to have a baby. It’s insane that I still do this. If I don’t stop now, it’s gonna kill me at some point. I have to stop.

Oh, just to add, I meditate a lot, take cood showers almost every morning, do yoga frequently. But none of that helps me when that stress and anxiety hits me.

So, if any of you recognise elements of what I wrote and have found great techniques to beat this stress masturbation and ways of calming down and getting out of that without eventually ending up with my hands in my pants, please tell me. I need all the help I can get. Thanks.

 

Yes, any advice is welcome. What’s an accountability partner?

 

Thanks G, that idea of planning distractions is a good one. I’m gonna try that.

And yes, addressing the source of the stress is something I’ve been trying to work with too, but it’s going slooow. And everytime I think I made a ton of progress, I fall into relapse out of nowhere. But I guess that is recognisable to a lot of people as well.

 

Well, I have considered those kinds of rewards, but I never could think of what the reward could be in order for it to work. But there’s definitely something to that method. I’ll try again, thanks Jamwan.

 

Today I'm in the same situation where I was when I was acting like an idiot last Monday: alone in the office, shaking from anxiety because I think I might be shitty at my job. So now I'm thinking of what you said, G. You are right. It's fucking hard, but there's no running away from this.

 

Ah, for me it’s not exactly perfectionism, though. In those moments, I just think I absolutely suck and anyone could do a better job than me. Of course, rationally I know that’s bullshit. But that voice can be persisting. This time I didn’t try to drown it with more bullshit (porn) but just waited for it to go away. And it did, as I know it does. But having that patience is hard.

 

Thanks! You’re right, of course, and I know it very well.

 

Thanks. i will.