What negative effects has porn had on your life?

You read my mind with this post. I was just about to write about how porn has had such a tumultuous effect on my life. At my worst, I could spend hours online every day, for weeks on end, looking at porn. God knows how many cumulative hours I spent lying in bed in my darkened room staring at the glowing screen, webpage after webpage, while the real world continued on without me. I missed out on social engagements with friends, and simple things like watching a game on tv that I had been looking forward to, as well as opportunities lost, such as using that time to go out and try new things or meet new people.
But porn had such a strong hold on me. I felt I needed it; after a tough, stressful day it would help me unwind, and maybe it did, initially, but there was rarely a time, despite so many experiences, where five minutes after I was done, I didn't feel ashamed of myself and guilty for all the time I'd wasted.

For me, porn has always been a form of escapism. And in a way, sometimes that's a nice thing but overtime I realised it wasn't healthy for me and I was missing out on so much. I decided nearly two years a go that I needed to address my problem and in my search for help and advice, I came upon NoFap. It changed my attitude to porn completely. My first try at abstinence was my most successful. I went just over 60 days without porn, masturbation and orgasm. The positive effects of this were so unexpected and amazing. I felt more confident, my self-esteem improved, the so called 'superman' effect took hold, where I felt I could do anything because my will power seemed so strong.
Porn had been my biggest weakness and overcoming this had made me believe in myself, and in my capabilities in an ultra-positive way. My fitness improved, my body weight improved, people complimented me, and mentally I was in a great place.

Porn was still on my mind of course. I had to fight it most days. I learned to identify triggers such as certain twitter handles who would post racy stuff, and I had to stop following people on twitter and instagram. The 'incognito' option on my browser was NOT my friend and I accepted early on that clicking it was just as bad as watching porn because for me, it always lead to the same thing.
Unfortunately, once I reached my 60 or so days, the temptation became too much and I caved. I felt I deserved a reward for doing so well, but I promised myself it would never become a regular thing again. For the first few months this remained the case. I would look at porn and then not go near it for a couple of weeks or more. However, without even noticing, about three or four months later, I was back to my old habits once more, despite my best intentions. Every now and then I would address the issue and try to abstain again but I could never go beyond two weeks, if even that.

Even though I am still in a better place now than I ever was before I found NoFap, the last 12 months have seen me revert back to old bad habits. Again, the cruel cycle of stress to escapism to pleasure to guilt and back to stress started to occur daily and I felt my mental state and self esteem plummet. I have now gone over a month without porn and once again I am starting to feel good about myself. This most recent effort, I must include, does coincide with me meeting someone and it was out of respect to her that I wanted to stop (not that she is aware of my issues with porn).
These last 30 days have been so easy in comparison to my initial efforts when I first joined NoFap. Sexual thoughts don't haunt me throughout the day; my mind is never consumed with what I might be missing out on, on my most frequented porn sites. Obviously, being able to have actual sex with someone is a major help with this but the lack of porn has cleared my head so much and I am starting to feel those benefits I mentioned earlier once again.

Sorry this post was so long, but I wanted to give my two cents. To summarise, porn had dragged me down to my lowest and has stolen so much time and opportunity from life, that I will never get back. Having abstained from it I am happier than ever. I am in a healthy, loving relationship (and I am in no doubt that avoiding porn has been a big help with this) and I feel great; I feel strong, confident and proud; my self-esteem is sky-high. It is all because I have abstained from pornography.

 

I have a lot of those symptoms but how do you truly know they are a result of porn?

Ok some of them are easier to link than others, like feeling tied to a fetish you've seen but how can you know that it's also the reason for your anxiety/depression/low confidence etc? I guess giving up is one way to find out but again, the damage may already be done and simply quitting porn won't be enough to relieve those symptoms. A bit like how a long-term smoker can't undo the lung damage they've caused and can only stop it from getting worse.

I saw sexual improvements after two months but mentally I can't say I noticed much difference. Although I will say that for most of those two months I had zero libido and my theory is that an intact(and not abused) libido is needed to see any kind of mental improvements but that's just a theory I'm currently running with, not sure how much truth there is to that.

 

It's a good point you make, but I don't blame all those issues (anxiety, depression etc.) solely on porn. But I have no doubt that it was a contributing factor due to how it made me feel immediately afterwards; a feeling that could linger for hours or days. I just never felt good about myself after spending hours watching porn, and at times I was utterly racked with guilt.
Those feelings did not occur once I stopped because my consumption of porn was what brought them on. I'm not saying that I am always 'happy, happy' when I abstain but I am happy when I reflect on the fact that I am abstaining; that I have the fortitude to do so and that I am not allowing myself to fall into that spiral of misery and guilt that excessive porn always brought on for me. But I agree, porn cannot be the only factor on my mental state; it is just one of many that I work on.
As for the more lasting damages due to porn, again I definitely think this is an issue but one that I hope will resolve itself the longer I abstain. I have a healthy, enjoyable sex life now but I can still see the effects porn has had on my attitude to sex. In my mind, I struggle with what should be considered 'normal' when it comes to sex because porn has warped my mind in this sense. I can only hope that over time, I will relearn these things and forget about the porn I was once obsessed with.

 

I've had the same experiences i suggest you search Gary Wilson ted talk.

 

Anecdotes suggest that it takes 1-2 yrs.

 

Very helpful. Porn is the pits, it shifted my focus on the more important things in life like earning a living, establishing relationships and getting a degree

 

Porn has been an excuse to ignore my problems, and focus on pleasure. The problem with that is it’s now an addiction that consumes my thoughts and makes me depressed. Not to mention lack of actual sexual attraction in real life. Porn is a monster that requires more and more food, but leaves you starving.

 

Sorry mate, I was actually replying to the points in the OP but just read your post and can relate to a lot of what you've said.

Two months was the longest I went as well but since then I haven't even been able to pass two weeks - I just relapsed again today on day 15 and it just feels like this is never going to end. Glad to hear you're feeling better about yourself now but I bet a lot of that is down to finding a nice girl, I know that doesn't fix all of your problems but it's a lot better than being on your own I think you'll agree.

Yeah probably 12-13 years so a long time.

I didn't expect change in two months, just that I think any mental benefits are probably tied to having a functioning libido. My libido came back after two months so maybe if I'd have hung on longer then I might have seen some changes mentally but unfortunately I blew it.