Hi everyone, I have questions and need help/guidance. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs. We have been living together for a yr. In the begining of our relationship I stayed at his place 2 weeks out of the month and 2 weeks at my place (I lived far away) when I was gone I knew he was watching porn and masturbating, which I was some what ok with because i wasn't there. He is a gamer and he is an aspie (high function) so he would stay up late to game. He would tell me that he pleasured him self to a girl with small breasts (That's his go to) I am small chested. I didn't understand why he had to do that when I was sleeping in the bed right next to him and the computer. We were having sex 4-6 times per day, so I thought that I wasn't providing for him. It made me feel off, but I didn't say anything. He is 29 and I am 39, we both have high sex drives. I never really saw him doing it or thought anything more about it till me moved in together. About 6 months into living together I would come home from work on his days off and he would be PMO (not sure if I am using this incorrectly) I was erked. Then it was happening more frequently, so I told him that it upset me when he did that, he told me that he only did it when I wasn't available, but we would have sex at night and most of the times in the morning, so I didn't understand why he couldn't wait 8 hrs. till i got home. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it any more...that was a lie. His computer is right beside our bed and I would catch him PMO while I was sleeping right beside him. I then told him that I hated this behavior and it made me feel shitty about myself like maybe I wasn't sexy enough for him, he said "no I find you very attractive and I only use porn to get off faster" I blew up at him saying I don't like it and don't want to feel like this anymore. He apologized again and said "I don't want to loose you so I will stop"...that was a lie. I then started to feel anxious and stressed that he was still lying about it, so I started checking his phone and computer history, I found out that he was still watching porn and a lot of it daily. I freaked on him for lying to me again. He said he was trying his best but it was hard because he never really had a girlfriend before and was used to PMO. I told him that it pisses me off when masturbate to porn and that I would leave him. He stopped watching porn, but then would proceed to look at pictures of girls and masturbate right beside me laying in bed while I was sleeping. Oh hell no, I started to pack my stuff, I was out! He said " I thought you only ment no watching porn" really come on I said to other girls! I told him I think he has an addiction. I didn't leave that night, but I slept on the couch. The next morning I checked his phone and I found porn from that night after we just talked about it...i completely freaked. He said "i thought you broke up with me" OMG what...anyways I told him if he didn't get his shit together I was leaving him. So he came up with some strategies to help, no computer after I go to bed and I get to check his phone daily (You can delete history), but I do love him a lot and wanted to make it work. He seemed to be doing good till I caught him again, he denied it and lied to me again, so now I really can't trust him and I don't believe him when he tells me stuff. Not to mention that he checks out other girls when we are out in public, he denied doing that to. I am at the point where my anxiety about it is so bad that I feel that I can't leave him home alone, I miss out on doing things with friends and family knowing that he will be home alone, I failed classes because of this and not to mention my self esteem is shot. Other than his addiction, he is amazing. It seemed to have gotten better, but I think he got better at hiding it. Last week I caught him 3 times while I was home and the 2 nights that we went out he was checking out other girls, I confronted him about looking at other girls when we were out, he denied it. I love him, but I don't want to deal with it anymore. What do I do?