you should just relapse and throw all the progress in the trash?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RoadToValhalla17, Nov 6, 2019.

  1. RoadToValhalla17

    RoadToValhalla17 Fapstronaut

    I' ve been on this streak 47 days but not clean, about day 35 to 45 (only a few days) i was looking porn but not masturbate, should i just relapse and start again? :(
  2. If you looked at porn you should reset your counter. But you don't need to relapse to do that. You don't need to relapse at all.
  3. Please tell us what this counter represents for you?
    Stitch 626 and RoadToValhalla17 like this.
  4. RoadToValhalla17

    RoadToValhalla17 Fapstronaut

    For me is a kind of tool that motivates me when i see the number of days is increasing that represent the counter.
  5. So do you think that if you set this counter to 0 it will help you represent progress you made and will it motivate you more?
  6. RoadToValhalla17

    RoadToValhalla17 Fapstronaut

    Of course not, i think i should have a new counter with the name "Clean days" or "Days without porn".
  7. Why not edit your signature manually? Have a line that says something like:

    [TRACKER Here]
    Days Without Masturbation: See Tracker
    Days Without Porn: Tracker - 35
  8. it doesnt put back you back to day 1 or erases all the proggress it simply puts your progress a bit back

    1ANDDONE Fapstronaut

    I think it is important that you intellectualized what, I think, you are actually attempting to do.

    To begin with, you are posting in a forum titled "porn addiction." It is not titled "for those having a problem with porn", or "for those having a problem with masturbation." This is a forum for people who identified as "addicted", and, presumably, you identify as addicted because you are posting here.

    You really have not relapsed. Relapsed implies the person was totally clean, so much so, and for so long, they quit struggling with it, and quit wanting, and have not accessed for a long time. Not science, but the gold standard seems to be for at least 90 days, or, at least 90 days to get to that point.

    It is not clear to me that you understand that looking at porn is the same thing as using. The only reason any person on the planet finds porn interesting is because of the neurological event that happens in the brain, when porn is viewed. We call it "porn addiction" here, but the term is inapt. It works like this: Watch porn, think of sex, think of sex, get a dopamine rush, watch porn while wanking, and on top of the dopamine rush, you get a flood of feel chemicals, which it is just easier to say are endogenous opioids.

    What you are addicted to is the neurological rush/high that, for an instant, feels euphoric. Guys are addicted to PMO, but they get the rush just from watching porn. Watching porn leads to thinking of sex, and that leads to neurological event in your brain, which is what some call a dopamine high. It is the dopamine high that is addictive, and you get that from just looking at porn.

    You have been here now for, almost, a year, and it looks like you are making some progress, but the most efficient reboot is the "hard 90." 90 days, no porn, no porn substitutes, no vanilla porn, no sex, no MO, no O, and being consciously aware that sexual thoughts, alone, trigger a dopamine high, so coming up with a plan to avoid them as much as humanly possible, which is difficult, especially for a guy with a brain that is 22 years old, because a 22 year old brain really, really, wants to think of sex.

    I would not change your counter, and, ultimately, while I have used a counter in the past, the purpose of the reboot must be overcoming the addiction for life, for ever. So, there is no magic number of days, out in front of you, that once you get there, you can ever healthily return. I don't believe in a lifetime addiction model for porn, meaning I think you can get to the place where you are no longer addicted, but I do believe, for the rest of your life, watching porn will get you high, and to stay clean, and not slip back, you have to avoid that high.

    Keep going. Porn is not an option.

    Much Love.

    Last edited: Nov 6, 2019
  10. "I just did what I should not do, should I do more of it?" Does it not sound dumb?
  11. RoadToValhalla17

    RoadToValhalla17 Fapstronaut

    Can you be more specific?
  12. Nope. Start again without relapsing. Relapsing will not help you.
  13. abstinent_andrew

    abstinent_andrew Fapstronaut

    If you have to walk 5 miles in the snow and you fall down at 2 miles, and you get back up, do the 2 miles go away?
    Arnuld, Go All The Way and DarkMoment like this.
  14. DarkMoment

    DarkMoment Fapstronaut

    What an absolutely amazing analogy!
    Kennyggg likes this.
  15. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    Stay on the nofap train. People who give up are actually very close to succeeding.

    “A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.“

    - C.S. Lewis.
    Arnuld, RoadToValhalla17 and again like this.
  16. Dinesh The Survivor

    Dinesh The Survivor Fapstronaut

    You don't have to relapse at all cause you have watched porn. People watch porn for many reason(I'm not saying this is okay). Figure out the reason why are you still tempted to watch porn. It will help you. Do dm if you need someone to talk for inspiration or to let out your problems. You don't have to fight this war alone. We nofappers are here for you.
    RoadToValhalla17 likes this.
  17. RoadToValhalla17

    RoadToValhalla17 Fapstronaut

  18. Ronaldo Machuca

    Ronaldo Machuca Fapstronaut

    No, just find out how you watch P. And avoid doing that.
  19. Ace4321

    Ace4321 Fapstronaut

    Yes they do because relapsing is just walking in the opposite direction.

    Relapsing is not a physical fall, but metaphorical. A proper representation would be walking back.

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