Sorry for your downfall my brother, you´re back to being a servent of the porn ring. Those kinds of relapses happen a lot, so i´m gonna give you a technique that will help cope with hard feelings. it´s not the life situations that put us down, is our inability to deal with our own pain, that creates the tendency to lean on destructive mechanisms to get relief. i hope this can help you. "Negative feelings are common triggers to pmo. This is a crucial part of the reboot because many times relapses happen to escape pain or discomfort. We have to deal directly with the parts of our experience that are unconfortable and cope with them in constructive ways. If we don´t deal with these feelings, at neurological level, the midbrain that is severely hijacked by pmo, will start to take over for the “excitement solution”. That´s why it feels we enter automatic mode just before a relapse, we are being driven. So if you feel bored follow the trail of inspiration, think about several things you would like to do right now and choose the one you want the most. Even if at first you only feel a small pull, do it anyway. After a while energy will increase so as the mood and you´ll be inspired to do other things. If you feel sad accept the situation that cause it, or change it if you can. Also talk with someone about it and do something pleasant. Stronger emotions like anger or hurt i recommend meditation. A good technique is the “letting go” technique. Psychiatrist David Hawkins explains in detail: “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it or moralizing about it. It means to drop judgment and see that it is just a feeling. The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in anyway. Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you give up resisting or trying to modify the feeling, it will shift to the next feeling and be accompanied by a lighter sensation. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates… “When letting go, ignore all thoughts. Focus on the feeling itself, not on the thoughts. Thoughts are endless and self-reinforcing, and they only breed more thoughts. Thoughts are merely rationalizations of the mind to try and explain the presence of the feeling… “Sometimes we surrender a feeling and we notice that it returns or continues. This is because there is more of it yet to be surrendered. We have stuffed these feelings all of our lives and there can be a lot of energy pushed down that needs to come up and be acknowledged….”" Rise again my brother. You made 25 days, you can do it again and beyond!!! let´s Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the advice! I'm currently fixing my sleep cycle, means switching off my computer and smartphone before 22:15, read for about half an hour and than go to bed. Also get up early and than meditate (mostly to focus on the silence in the morning), also gonna try your methode tomorrow. Today I woke up at around 5 o'clock, meditated, walked the dog, bought some bread, also wrote another letter of application - all before 10 o'clock. Went to the gym for quite a while and spend some hours for studying. Today was a good day!
I made it through my first week. I have struggled but I don't want to throw this time away and start over.
Still in, but I can't see my counter on my phone. I think I might have arrived at the Lonely Mountain.