I've been struggling the last few days in most areas but i'm starting to get back on the wagon. I feel myself start to go back to my ways of escalating the material i use so that's not good either. This month im just focused on putting consistency over intensity, and tracking my mood and such.
Relapsed again this morning. So tired of this. It seems no matter how much i occupy myself, i still have to go to sleep at some point and the most common(and mostly only) time when I pmo is when I wake up. Its like I can't get out of bed without getting off, and I know that's a fallacy but clearly the association in my head is bed = pmo. Its to the point where if I get out of bed, i pretty much consider the day a success cause that's the only time I pmo. If i can just keep in mind I more or less only have to get past that one hump, I should be good. On the days i do manage to get over it, I'm pmo free the whole day and it feels good. There's no other time to pmo generally because i live with two other people, and i'm usually too occupied through the day to care about masturbating. I've tried keeping my phone away in the past and that does help to put up a bit of a physical barrier at least, but I think ultimately it comes down to the mindset. There were times when i left my phone on my desk and then grabbed it and crawled back into bed to pmo, so as we know with barriers they only help so much if the addict has still not asserted themselves over and over that they do not want this. And i still have doubts in my mind as to whether or not NoFap is worth it and I probably won't feel much different until I give it a real chance. So now i'm just telling myself, lets just do it for a week and see how we feel. And i'll take it from there.
@bluedragon9 has already lost to me. I am on day 14. Now who's next. Kindly update as to who am I battling against.
My issue is just this, Why do I have to ask about this on this thread. Why can't you guys update it regularly. I mean there are hardly any members left here, and you still don't update it in the main page. Last time wher I was talking to someone about it, he said because he was busy for some time, so that's why I did not say anything about it. This time also, if there is a legitimate concern, I am willing to hear you out, but even if I check up on this thread, then also there are no proper updates or maybe it seems like that to me. I mean correct me if I am wrong here, but I don't think we are taking it as seriously as it should be, or maybe this thread has run its course.
Going good so far. I can basically declare victory over the chaser effect. All I need to worry about now is when the real urges start coming.