Insights & Advice For People Living With Paraphilia

How is this constructive? A person vulnerably confesses to getting therapy for a condition they are clearly ashamed of and your response is that? Don't forget there's a human on the other side of the screen and what you write in the chat box matters and affects them.

 

I’ll tell you how it’s constructive. When you are so fucked up in the head that you call yourself a “zoophile” and “zoo-exclusive,” then your peers should be honest with you and tell you how fucked up that is. I’m not here to pretend that something as absolutely repugnant and vile as sexualizing animals is normal. He deserves to know how fucked up in the head he is. Instead of coddling him, we should all give him a taste of reality so he actually has the motivation to figure his shit out. I’m not sure how you gathered that he’s “clearly ashamed,” as he never said that. This guy actually identifies as being a “zoophile.” Sounds to me like he embraces it. When you’re ashamed of something you don’t embrace it like that.

 

I suspect you're operating in bad faith.

You deny he's ashamed for lack of evidence but claim that he is proud with lack of evidence. There is clearly shame around this, since he stated that he hasn't told anyone else in the world other than his parents. You think people don't know that having a sexual attraction to animal is "fucked up"? You think they need you to point that out? You're not helping and you know it. You're misplacing some anger in your own life and hurting innocent posters. Please stop, it's not constructive.

 

if he's cool or chill with it then why the therapy? it's clear that he has issues with it whether he's ashamed or confused or whatever, he's seeking therapy for a reason

 

I wish you all the best and I hope there are people here who can help, give advice and support you

 

I suffered from autogynephilia.
That's when fantasizing to have women body parts causes arousal.

I found my core issues and worked through them. Nowadays that philia is resting and I don't need to revive it.

It's good you seek support in therapy. There you hopefully find out what your real need was at the time you created the connection with animals.

See it as a fetish (because that's what it is actually).
A healthy need has become sexualized. That's the reason people develops a crossdress fetish (I did), foot fetish, hair fetish, femdom or sissy fetish, or an animal fetish.
Actually these are all expressions to try to fulfill an inner need.

So don't worry too much, you have to find your core issues. Once you go through them, the need for your animal fetish will become unnecessay.

 

Only the man in the mirror knows that.

I wrote about my story in my journal. I think it will help you further.

 

How does your sexually relate to living with others? Those things are not directly related.

 

How told you that you need to be in a romantic relationship with someone to live with them? What do you mean the you have to do something? Why does your sexually need to dictate your life? There is a whole world out there!

 

You find people that you care about and who care about you. I have a stigmatized sexuality as well, but love can be so much richer and deeper than what gives you erections. Please stop telling yourself that you need to be alone. I spent so much time thinking that I was unworthy of other peoples love, but that is not true. That is social stigma that you have internalized. I know what you are feeling. Stop telling yourself that you need to be alone. It is not true. Nothing else I can say would be of any use until you accept that.

 

Yes I had. That's one of the deepest fear a kid can develop in relationship with his mother.
And don't underestimate what kind of damage that can do and what negative behavior a boy can develop because of that.

Let's see if I can give a short but clear answer on this questions because there are books written about it.
Talking from my own experiences I can see this:

Sexuality is the natural sexual energy between me and a women where I am able to give me totally in trust and love.
She is the object of my love and my sexuality is a way to express that love for her. Giving myself to her in a safe and secure environment is the ultimate kind of happiness I can experience. As a Christian I know about a God of love who will be the center of the relationship with my wife. That makes it able to experience a pure relationship with pure love and pure sexuality. In fact, sexuality becomes something holy. And I believe it is as that relationship is so particular, I will only experience with her. I only will know her and will know myself in such a deep way, I will not be able to experience with whatever other women.

When I was a kid, I developed a fetish, a crossdress fetish.
My sexuality became connected to the wearing of women cloths. Wearing these cloths made me horny.
In fact the crossdress ritual had the function of creating some sense of safety for me. As I felt very unsafe in the house where i was raised. Dressing up was a way to attach to my mother. For some reason it was not safe to attach to her as a kid should do normally.
So a fetish is an object (in my case the women cloths) that has the function to fulfill a normal healthy need (feeling safety and security) but in fact it only covers that missing fulfillment. A fetish work as a plaster on a wound.
Because of the lust a fetish creates, we become addicted and that gives the fetish to develop to the fullest, normally attracting other fetishes.
Example: in my life it started with a crossdress fetish together with an autogynephilia fetish but when the internet came, I developed a femdom and sissy hypnosis fetish as well.

Allright, now let's see about the word "paraphilia"
One definition is this: "abnormal expression of sexuality, both biologically and socially"

or:

"Paraphilia (from the Greek para (παρά) = next to, and -philia (φιλία) = to love) is a psychiatrist term for a group of sexual abnormalities in which the erotic contact with an equal partner is not sufficient to achieve sexual arousal and orgasm ."

So actually every fetish is a paraphilia. But that's just my vision on it.
There are many people who tries to work out there fetish in a relationship, but for me that never worked.
For me I wasn't able to have a balanced healthy relationship where my paraphilia should have a place in.
I went all the way through my core issues and that made it possible to actually overgrow my fetished.
I already told you that a fetish is plaster on the wound, but when the wound is cared and healed, the plaster has become unnecessary.

You are talking about a paraphilia when it comes to animals.
But in my opinion it's "just another" fetish.
So if I were you, I wouldn't put too much weight at the word "paraphilia".

I hope this helps you.

 

Romantic feelings is about attraction to somebody. Yes our sexuality plays a key role with in.

There is nothing romantic about a fetish.
A fetish is about a dead thing at least, not human.
As a man I didn't have romantic feelings in my fetishes.
But today I can have romantic feelings towards a woman I like.

When did your feelings for animals came into your life?
Do you have any idea why you don't have feelings for women instead?
What kind of pain are you covering with the animalistic fetish?