I did M after 36 days, without P . Not resetting the counter as my main goal is to not watch P . I had so many sudden urges in the morning but i stopped myself from watching P.
P: 56 days M: 82 days O: 82 days * 5 PMO but no relapse * 1 MO but no relapse * Averaging 13.7 days on PMO nofap * 22 days straight nofap
Hi, its been a while since i posted. I got the omicron corona virus. Wasn't doing well, but im doing a bit better. Had really bad fever, cough, sore throat, and headache for 10 days. Hope everyone's been healthy and doing good on their streaks.
I did relapse on day 24 or 25 unfortunately while very sick. I don't know how my body got the urge to do that. so unfortunate.
Day 3 done, day 4 ongoing Some observation from the 20 days streak. I got very close to the edge of ED in my years of P addiction. Sometimes it would be okay sometimes I had a difficult time achieving erections. Lately I used a pill for that, it contained chinese herbs that would sort of magnify the arousal you felt, making getting erections way easier. So not like viagara where you just get one. It could have been psychological. To much pressure to perform you know? Either way, on December 30th I had taken one. And in my experience they last a few days till somewhere of a week. From the 30th till the 3rd I had plenty of intercourse with a girl. But I also wasn't home for a while and forgot to bring an extra pill. But throughout 11 days I got solid erections, the first few days obviously because of the pill. But the latter few days I think that was all me!!! Even now at home after a relapse, I still get morning wood and these random half mast erections without any stimulation. So I feel like I have retreated a bit from the edge of ED in those 20 days. And it's very encouraging. In general I feel more balanced. Even while relapsing, the content I watched wasn't as exciting to me. Like my brain's taste preferred the real life over the pixels. So I'm definitely going for that 30 day goal and leave that edge further and further behind
Day 25 Many times across the day some thoughts cross my mind .. these thoughts are nasty (e.g. harming someone close to you or wishing bad things to happen to someone you have bad feelings towards .. stuff like that ... ) .. so such thoughts are not related to p directly but it is kind of a threat directed to me .. it is like "DO PM ..OR WE HAVE MORE OF SUCH THOUGHTS !!" .. and then you say at some point .. perhaps it is better to do "pm" rather than having such thoughts .. it is "safer" you know .. maybe I do them .. or worse .. you know what is worse ? .. that somehow this voice in your brain convince you that such thoughts are yours .. "you generated these thought" .. "you are like this" .. "you have a nasty brain" .. "you like these ideas" .. the voice is trying to claim that he knows you more than you know yourself .. here is how you convince yourself that you do not like these thoughts .. imagine two buttons .. one for yes .. one for no .. and ask your self .. would I even cause that person close to me harm? .. and if you really say no .. imagine yourself pressing that button that says no .. and close the topic .. do not enter discussions .. do not do debates .. do not waste your time .. do not waste your brain energy on this .. just use that thought experiment or anything similar .. and trust that you are a good person .. you mean no harm to anyone .. you mean good for everybody .. the voice tells that your jealously will do this and this and that .. imagine the two buttons .. and imagine press no .. and move on .. these voices .. they do not use logic .. their only power is your own attention .. do not give them that .. that is their food .. save acting on such thoughts .. ignore and move on .. no one can force you to do sth if you do not want to .. again .. no one can force you to do any action except if you allowed it .. unfortunately/fortunately .. we do not own our thoughts and emotions now .. we are currently playing against them .. they are our emotions and thoughts but they are not really on our side (for now) .. your actions will decide which side wins ... why I said fortunately that our actions and emotions are not ours for now? .. it is because here and then we will realise sth .. we will realise that we do not need our emotions and thoughts to do sth .. to take action .. we do not need them .. that independence thickens our skin .. and develop grit and resilience .. emotions and thoughts will follow along by the end .. like some puppies .. but obeying their master .. and when that happens you can transfer this experience to any problem or challenge in your life .. "Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair" [/QUOTE]
I've been improving my self esteem and that gonna help a lot with the girls. I will overcome this addiction, I have to.
P: 57 days M: 83 days O: 83 days * 5 PMO but no relapse * 1 MO but no relapse * Averaging 13.8 days on PMO nofap * 23 days straight nofap
Day 13 After trying Nofap for so many times, i have understood my patterns properly. What are times when i am vulnerable, there are very particular days where i'll have urges, so i fight harder on those days. So you just have to observe yourself... If u released then observe every single thing that went through your mind,the whole day. Stay strong, stay motivated
