Day 0 Nazgul Peaked today so resetting. Goal is to avoid any touching of genitals. Monk hard mode go. My goal is to get rid of ED and be a healthy male. Being 100% honest with myself right now.
Day 5 Not a bad day. I think I’m slowly learning to depend less upon temporary emotions and to instead live in alignment with my principles. Did befriending at a local hospital for a couple hours today. It’s a good thing for me to do, even though it’s often difficult. It’s good for me because it gets me out of the abyss of myself and teaches me to put others first. I do it because it’s difficult and it helps me grow as a person. Sometimes I have a chat with somebody where we can’t stop laughing together, other times somebody is in the grips of the worst tragedy of his life and I can only hold his hand. It’s a beautiful thing to do even though it’s difficult. Had a lot of thoughts today about a girl I used to see, the one I’ve often considered an unrequited love. It was a bit too intense though. I’m not gonna jump and make any rash decisions based on these intense emotions. I don’t think it would do me any good to do so, it wouldn’t be healthy for me. Spoke to my Mum about it and I’m starting a 7-day devotion to God today to ask Him for clarity, peace and direction in the area of finding a partner. There are moments where I don’t feel at all worried about things like finding a partner, I’m just enjoying my life in the present moment, and my life is enough. Of course I have a natural longing for a partner most of the time but I’m not going to force it. Had a few urges to watch porn today when I had intense emotions but I remembered that I want my sexuality to be for love and that helped.
Day 186 Quite a normal day, had some good conversations at work and got some exciting news about what my role might entail from September. No urges, although being home alone this evening was tricky. Heading to bed to rest and avoid any further temptation.
Hey bro, Don’t worry too much about your thoughts. What matters is which thoughts you choose to act on. That’s the measure of a man. Do some wholesome stuff for yourself, like talk to your grandparents or an elderly person, or help someone cross the street, or give up your seat for someone on the bus, whatever it is just do something nice for another person and you’ll start feeling better (Coming from somebody who has experience with OCD and pretty disturbing intrusive thoughts.) Appreciate your honesty on here, checking in with us and wanting to grow. Wishing you blessings brother.
Day 6 complete. I'm in such a good vibe that during class there were students who couldn't stop fiddling with their hair. When I left the classroom a group of 5 women stopped me to talk to me. Today I had the courage and spent time with a lab colleague crush who is also a professor. It went really well
I am in a temporary rut with no motivation to be 100% masturbation-free. I am honestly content with being porn-free and keeping that streak up until I can resolve some marital issues and life stress. If less than weekly fapping leads me to porn temptations or turns into daily or compulsive activity, I'll come back for a reset. Otherwise I will re-join the challenge when I'm serious about a hard-mode reboot and a 500-day streak. Keep up the good work, fellowship!
Day 8 complete! I feel stronger and faster but I'm still a slave to the PMO ring. A desire arises to break free from its chains. I am one of the fighting Uruk-Hai! Urges were definitely worse today. 8 days is a big wall for me, historically, and I know I'm not out of the danger zone yet. I've been staying in frequent contact with my AP. Today gave me another reminder about the importance of monitoring our HALTS status--I was really close to peeking before dinner, but I realized that I was also quite hungry. After eating I felt much better. St. Michael the Archangel, pray for us!
Day 27 complete maybe it’s the chaser effect, but I was really horny this Monday and Tuesday. It was hard to turn my head away from pretty women. And the worst thing is that I had fantasies with scenarious about sex outside of my marriage. When I am with my wife it is much easier, basicaly I only have urges for her but it’s different. Today is a holiday in my country so I am going to spend the day with my wife
Day 3 In the gym I often find myself looking at women. I do it for just a second and I don't have any sexual thoughts or fantasies but it is like an impulse I find very hard to resist. Has anything similar happened to you guys? If so, how did you deal with it?