I had some lustful thoughts during the day yesterday. Then at night repeated sexual dreams and a dream of MO. Glad it’s just a dream.
Last night I noticed how I wasn't even desiring PMO, where less than a month ago my head was constantly filled with images swirling through my head all night and day, overflowing with lust. So often while I was addicted I'd wish to "be normal". Turns out there's nothing extraordinary about normal. More pleasure doesn't come with having a normal brain, just the wholesome satisfaction of being able to sleep at night knowing I did my chores, the peace of mind letting someone use my phone or computer without worrying what they see, the joy in making new friends and having deeper connections with everyone around me. This is "normal" and something I'm ready to get used to.
I just wanted to say that the physical urge and dreams I’m having are tough. But I know I can get through this. It’s just temporary pain.
Update So last week I had intercourse after 2.5 yrs. it was a very beautiful experience. Meeting her however has also revealed to me so many new things, and opportunities for growth and seeing through my patterns of neediness, ego, and so on. I noticed an interesting thing with women, it is like an opening and closing. The minute I get selfish and have expectations it closes, when I remember that the source of all my joy is in God in my own consciousness, then it opens up again. I feel very content in every area of life at this moment but part of the reason for this I believe is I just took a 3 day Christmas contemplation and meditation, I am so thankful for taking time off from all social interactions and relationships because it makes life so much more joyful.
this is amazing to read! congrats man! i'm currently in a relationship with a woman that i deeply love as well. after a hellish marriage and bad divorce, this is the first time i felt this way towards a woman... hoping by doing no PMO will help when the time comes with my current gf. also, checking in! so far having urges, but i have this friend as well who helps to keep me in check. I will tell her if i got the urge to watch P or do M and she will just say mean things to me and i'll do the same for her as well. Its so much easier now.
Hello gentlemen, I know I've been pretty inactive on this group so maybe this message won't count for much. But I figured as a courtesy I'd just let you all know that I'm taking a hiatus of a few months from this website. 2021 was about really tackling my PMO habit head on, and I believe I achieved that, having had only one relapse that I bounced back from after a few days. 2022 is about tackling my excessive use of screen time, especially the smart (dumb) phone. In that spirit, I intend to start the new year with action to support that aim, and one of those actions is to take a break from here. I pray you all have a fulfilling new year and that you continue to grow internally. InnerMan
Congratulations on your sobriety. I hope 2022 in the best year of your life and you accomplish all of your goals. I hope to see you back from time to time. I would love to know how your new life is going.
Thank you friend, couldn't ask for better hopes! God willing I'll return in about 90 days as a better man, returning to better men! Aameen!!
Checking in, I haven't relapsed at all and still holding strong for the past 10 days! Happy New Year everyone!
Checking in. I have less than one week. I'm also starting a new tracking system this year. I will track my percentage in my journal. My percentage will be calculated like this ... (number of days - number of relapses)/(number of days) . But I will reset number of days every month... so the number of days will always be the day of the month. Then at the end of each month I'll have a percentage total for that month. And I will record my percentage total for the month in my signature. My goal is 100% each month. But I will have a record in my signature from now on. Here is the goal for my signature, something like this... Year - Month: Percentage 2022 - J:100 - F:100 - M:100 - A:100 - M:100 - J:100 - J:100 - A:100 - S:100 - O:100 - N:100 - D:100 I'm looking forward to this year.
I’ve been struggling. I’ve been using work computer in risky ways and that gets around my filters. I’m trying to change that, but not having success. I have one day clean now.
I'm struggling very hard with urges especially since I'm stuck home with this omicron thing doing the rounds. Basically spending all my time sitting at my computer. I've noticed I'm more seduced by chatsites and chatting with people than to PMO and I want to put an immediate end to that (but it's hard due to the allure of interacting with other people).
Hi @MountainCross90 following up from your reply for a accountability partner on reboot nation. Looking for an accountibility partner and new to understand how the dynamics of an accountability partner work. As told earlier 35 Y, Married, No Kids, burning desire to quit porn & fap trap forever.