Day 17 checking in. Since Sunday I've been feeling quite anxious and had uncomfortable feelings. Talked about nofap with my therapist. The first two weeks were easy. Since yesterday night I'm trying to chat more with people, I don't like what I write or say to them but I have to keep Going and show myself to the world
Day 1 complete. Had a realization last night that porn stopped satisfying me a long time ago. I've seen just about all there is to see. And I started sleeping with prostitutes six years ago which means porn wasnt working for me then. It always leads in to something else, something stronger, like browsing the escort pages. And that's a black hole too. The whole thing is a black hole.
Day 112 Outside is a very hot weather. Humid, very hot, so hot I guess a heat wave is coming. I miss the winter... I felt today (and still) "urges" about one girl and not to porn or to masturbation. Good? Better than to porn I guess...
Double Upload: Still some thoughts about that girl. Wanted to shower and as I saw myself in the mirror, I noticed my penis is smaller! No shit I even went to measure it up and I was right... he was smaller! I made some researches and red that by stopping masturbating my penis was only there for pissing and not for sexual things active. Like a muscle training: If you train right, you will get big muscles BUT if you stop then your muscles shrink. Y'all get what I'm trying to say? Now my question is: What do you think about that? Do you agree like "That's a good sign! Your body healths himself by not wasting your sperm by masturbating and your penis will grow if you have often sex!" (With often sex I mean 1 or 2 times per week/month and not everyday like an addict) Or "The fuck you talking dude? Your penis will grow by NOT touching it!"
Nope bro I do not think so because If you can make longer with using I mean sex, it must also have been happened with masturbating. Also with the body building not making muscles longer or larger as anatomically, it just increase the entity so it's trick of your mind. When you have healthy relationship with your wife or girlfriend your penis works as it was earlier do not think about that.
Today 11 of 90 day challenge was completed. I am with my family these day because of this reason urges not happening so much. I afraid of what I am gonna do after holiday when I stay alone with my laptop in my room. But I will figure out one way or another because this time It must be different and no return of it. By the way I joined cold shower challenge in the self improvement page I hope it also help transformation of my mind. Best wishes for everyone...
