Hi all, need help

Hi all

I've gotten to the point where I need serious help. I will try to describe my story.

I am 25. When I was twelve I discovered M. I think i was 15 when I discovered P. While the simplest things aroused me in the beginning, I later had to watch more and more intense things to get aroused. I noticed in my relationships later that I was suffering from PIED. That was the reason for me to do NOFAP. I discovered NOFAP years ago. But in all those years I couldn't get past the ten days. Around day ten I always got extremely depressed.

The urges to go back to PMO were too great. Still, I recently decided to try it again. I removed all P from my computer and did NOFAP for 15 days. Then I relapsed and watched P all night long. I PMO'd three times. Then I woke up the next day and noticed for the next few days that I had amnesia and difficulty reading. Something I had NEVER experienced. In addition, I have suddenly suffered from panic attacks for a month.

* TRIGGER * Maybe useful to know: I always watch femdom. I generally watched it daily. And every time I did NOFAP, after a few days I thought: ''this is just who I am. I like femdom and NOFAP won't change that.'' But now, after my relapse, I notice that I am suffering from amnesia and have trouble getting my words out.

My first reason to do NOFAP was that I suffered from PIED during normal sex. Now my reason is that I realize that my brain is slowly breaking down. I personally think this is not a 90 day project but it may be years. I feel like I messed up my brain so much with over-pushing dopamine. I mean, I just notice it's a vicious cycle.

-> P want to watch -> PMO -> Regret -> Start Nofap -> Brain screams for dopamine -> P want to watch -> PMO -> Regret -> Start Nofap -> Brain screams for dopamine etc. etc.

Finally, everything in brief:

- I am 25
- MO since 12
- PMO since 15
- Suffering from PIED.
- The reason to do NOFAP WAS always to heal PIED and to experience the superpowers
- Now the reason is that I notice that my brain is breaking down.
- Recently panic attacks and memory impairment after relapse after 14 days of NOFAP
- Have been watching F * mdom for 9 years
- I am a very social guy and have had multiple relationships, which usually after a month i was able to have normal sex, as long as I fantasized enough in my head.

I actually have 1 question. What do you advise me? Feel free to comment. I think it is seriously time for a reset. But i think it might be a long way. Please, do not hesitate to share articles and research with me. I like to delve into this. Thankyou.