New Guy

Hi,

Today was my worst relapse ever, i went completely out of control. (went "bananas")
So i'm putting my money on this site to somehow help me.

For a very long time in my life now i have thought of myself as a weak and useless (s)cumbag. Feel bad, tired, depressed, used to be social but that is draining away these days because i don't feel the need to connect to people.

This changed a bit since about 7 months ago i started to discover something...
A strange side effect in a habit i have for 12 - 13 years. This i found by accident and i regret not finding it earlier. Of course i'm talking about the sacred strategy of not touching myself in certain spots.

The feeling of regaining energy is just great i had a feeling like i could do anything and that i said with pride in day 2 because that was my record for a long time. Now i'm trying to reach day 10 which is uncharted territory for me.

Even though i try and do my best i keep relapsing at day 4 with a record on day 6.
And as i said today was the worst relapse yet also on day 4, came home at 4 and watched untill 20:15, so 4 hours and 15 minutes not so bad but the amount of "lift-offs" i had in that timespan is just beyond sanity.
Wasn't even planning to do it only a peek on my phone while i was on the toilet and 10 minutes later i'm in my room with the laptop on my bed. GG

This is actually affecting my life and it is becoming more than an obstacle.
Seriously this is nuts

I relapse every 2-3 days or sometimes i even have fapping streaks and it's time to stop but i'm afraid i might need some support...

 

Thanks, even though my mind is in all the wrong places at the moment i believe your reply actually made me re-think something i was about to do.