Success beating Ogling

Damnn, I'm proud

 

That is awesome! One thing we have definitely heard loud and clear from women is that ogling strangers can make them feel very uncomfortable, so well done. I've also been improving in this area, and it feels very empowering.

 

nice job ,well done controling that!

 

Great dude. I too want to be strong like you. Cheers.

 

fire quote

 

any tips or tricks for us that are struggeling with ooglin?

I have it at the gym

the clothes these girls were these days are (for me at least) unreal

and its getting worser every week due to the "influencers" on instagram

these girls believe they are just like the top athletes and dress just like them

i have a hard time not to look at them, but if i do i feel like crap man

 

Thank you mate really apriciate your input i Will tryy best

 

@Harrynak I've been keeping a list of useful ogling threads in one of my old journal posts, here, there are loads of techniques and motivations to be found in those threads. My own techniques are these (mostly borrowed from others here, plus one of my own):

 

wow ,nice tips ,appreciate it man !

 

thank you for enlighting me with this knowledge, i am going to implement it and update …

i notice when i dont see, i dont feel anything , no urges , no NOTHING

butttttt , if i see a butt ( or something else)

my mind goes in overdrive...

so trying to keep it to a minimum

 

That's the spirit. Well done... Congrates and all the very best

 

Congrats!

 

Wow it is really insperational to hear you guys. I am struggling with ogling as well. I am not clean of watching other women. It is really hard for me stop doing this. They are so attractive and hot sometimes that it is hard not to stare.

What I found helpful as well is to consider it is when I approach to a girl, as I want to talk to her and not hitting with her.
It made my life much easier.

Regarding watching women that I am not talking to, well this is something that I still do sometimes. But I believe it will get better.

 

Here is one more thing you might try: describe the clothes she wears. Takes your mind of the body.

It's so funny; when I have talked to a women and my wife askes me to describe her, I can only describe body things. Hair, length, 'volumes'. Women describe other women with much more social and style detail so I try to pay attention to those details too.

 

Just make your standarts higher. If I see girl with round butt in leggings (i hope I wrote it right), I think of what her morals and values in life are. For me she seems cheap as hell, so me, arrogant human being, tells also me, intelectual guy, that they are not even worth a stare, so fuck it! I train myself to look more to real woman. No fancy clothes, just beautiful eyes and soul. Cheers, mate!

 

Until I started NoFap, I never realized what a perverted oogler I was. I would look at every woman between
18 and 80 I think , "man, I'd do her." I would imagine little scenarios, then my head would spin to look at someone else and repeat the process. I thought it was harmless fun. Upon reflection, it basically cheating
on my wife, not physically, but mentally. It like filming private porn scenes in your imagination, no computer necessary. All this has added to the growing disconnect I had developed with my wife over many years.
I have opened my eyes to try to look at women and stay neutral or at least not picture them with their clothes
off. It is difficult. In fact, now that I recognize my behavior, I have been looking at every girl/woman like a laser.
For example we went to the plaza yesterday for dinner. The first thing I see is this stunning blonde in leggings with a unbelievable stripper's body walking down the street. I instantly turned my head and my wife said "Wow, check out that chic. What's up with her?" I refused to look [though that 1 sec image is burned my brain,ha]. It's odd. The more you think about not looking, makes you want to look more.
Well, my wife and I sat down to dinner. I told her about my oogling and efforts not to objectify women.
She understands it's all part of my PMO recovery. However, she doesn't judge me harshly at all. She's in the fashion industry and sees naked men and woman all the time. She says "you can look at other people and admire their beautiful bodies...but just don't be a total perv about it." That's cool.

 

I really appreciate this. I have recently stopped doing it. I think one of the reasons why i used to did it is because i like when a girl looks at me, and so when attraction kicks in hard i found it harder to not look. Today i noticed myself doing it a lot, pretty girls are my problem like i saw a girl in front a bit away and i thought to myself today i wonder if shes pretty and thought i guess I'll never know.

There's a verse in the Qur'an for men:
'Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.' Surah Nur Ayah 30

I also heard this religious nasheed and it's just nice i think anyway related to lowering gaze.

 

After a long time I find out that, when I do "ogling" I won't do a second time, even if she is the prettiest girl on the planet. I mean anyone who has two eyes, can't control his eyes by seeing other people for the first time. Thats normal. We are humans and we are just reacting. What we can do is controling our own behaviour. Just dont look after those womans bodies a second time and dont lust after those woman. When you see a beautiful lady you have to control your breath with mindful breathing (like Thich Nhat Hanh he is teaching this), to put focus on other things and tell yourself in your mind "Beauty does not equal honesty" to yourself all the time, then it is much easier to suceed not being atracted to woman that easily. You need more doctrines to manifest to see the bigger picture. Thats what I do and it is getting better with my Nofap journey and I've learned from my mistakes and everything what triggered me seems now to blow away.