Date: Jan 25, 2019 Day 139/142 no PM (relapsed day 51, 70, 102) Day 40/90 consecutive no PM Day 142 no alcohol or caffeine 36 days of weight training - adjusted my weight training counter to days I actually go to the gym (3 times a week) - feeling good as I get to see my wife tonight - maybe a little roll in the hay - groin pain is completely gone now - life is good and mind is clear - live strong, live proud everyone
relapsed . sorry brothers, i relied to much on my willpower and stay for too long home alone, shit. anyways, lesson learned: no matter how masterful or confident you feel this shit is still stronger than you, so don´t deviate an inch from your reboot plan. makes all the difference.
5 days. Had an a hah moment last night. Came to realise I am using the women in the videos to try and affirm my goodness. My motivation to try and succeed in my life has been to prove my goodness. I do not need to prove it because I am already good. I do bad things but am not inherently bad. Saying I am good really brings a huge deep emotional response. Those who were supposed to show my inherent worth failed and made me feel like I was inherently worthless. Time to ask God for healing.
I believe in you brother! quickly get up and continue fighting! Do not forget after a relapse urges are strong your mood are low so go outside do sth not stay alone
Day 22 completed. I have really strong urges today and tried not to spent to much time on computer and always reminded myself focus on what are you gonna get If beat this shit for me is self respect.
Day 4 complete. Just got back from a camping trip. I'm exhausted but it got me out of my head and off the couch for 24 hours.