It is like we are in the Matrix thinking that we have free will but are under the thumb of a ruthless slave master. The phrase enjoying our slavery in the video is really disturbing because it is so true.
The 4th It has been a very busy day for me so much so my morning routine was thrown out of the window. The great thing is that I have had no time to mull over porn the whole day. Now it's time to turn in and sleep.
great point When we truly understand it, we can set ourrself free. Recommend you to read . 1_Science set free by Rupert sheldrake. 2_And books by Dr Reisman. 3_behold a pale horse To get a better understanding of what is going on.
The 5th Overslept but I had a good rest since yesterday was a really tough grind. I need to get back to my full morning routine only managed to exercise. Exercise: Chest and Triceps [Push ups:1*30 reps, Weighted Pushups 5*10 15kg] Triceps only[Overhead Pulls with dumbbells 4*10 15 kg]
I fucked it up today. 85 days of No porn and today was also going smooth. I did not discover a single urge to give in to porn. But as it was saturday, I had nothing much to do today. Had an unproductive morning. Took a nap after lunch. I had some sensual dream maybe. I woke up feeling aroused. The only thing I was craving was porn. And I gave in. I masturbated after 56 days. I watched porn after 85 days. I cannot believe I was only one thought away to resist the feelings. Last few months, I was busy with work and mind was preoccupied with good things. But the moment I had some laziness within me, all the bad things came back. I am feeling very bad now, because when I started out, I had many goals, checkpoints associated. But now, everything is ended today. But I am going to try another time. It's an important insight to know that one bad day can ruin everything. And even more important to plan for the worst in advance. There is going to be a bad day at some point or the other where everything will go wrong. In that moment, how can you control your mind is the hardest thing to do. And it's the thing I would like to work upon. I will put myself in extreme situations and train my mind not to give in to the urges. I start again now. DAY 0/365