i know bro, i know. the more i stay with soft the more i will want to go hard. even if for now it´s seems gross to me, i know that eventually soft will become void of excitement and make me go over the edge. as for the definition of relapse, i still consider hardcore as the true relapse. but still they´re both bad, the soft and hard, of course. and i´m trying to stop with full brakes . thanks for the advice
i hope all brothers are going well and strong. i´ve been living very hard days lately and i almost relapse. it all started with my damn peaking on friday. why did i do it? why??? damn. then compulsion appear . peaked saturday... yesterday again... i almost relapse. now i´m on cold showers, and lot´s of surveillance, i forbid myself to be home alone for now cause i´m sure i´m gonna screw up. for now i manage through, but i don´t feel safe. i´m feel like in the first days of the reboot. pervert, weak, nervous, unstable... man, and i was feeling so good before friday feeling low by these days, never thought i could descend so quickly. stay strong brothers, please don´t take that first glance.
Started 90 Day Challenges on Jan 25, 2019 Relapsed 7/207 Days Longest streak 51 days Current Challenge Day 12/90 no PM Day 59 of weight training Day 12 - reduced alcohol, caffeine and sugar - no urges but had trouble sleeping and have been awake since 3:15am - i noticed I'm feeling euphoric quite often as I get farther away from this addiction which is allowing me to love my wife in a much healthier way - your brother in this struggle
Day 1 complete, I keep forgetting to journal in here, I gotta keep reminding myself. I'm actually in a 7days streak rn and I'm feeling relatively good, so far so good
0 days no PMO 0 days less sugar. Had a pop last night. 11 days no alcohol. 1 14 day streak. 49 days no Facebook. Prayed my chaplet. Reading about what a connection with ones mother looks like I really see how little I connected with her and how I have not connected with anyone really. I have always felt uneasy around people. Knowing what healthy connections with other humans look like, I amconnecting with Mary. I talk to her from the very deepest parts of myself and I listen to her soothing voice. It is beautiful. If anything is going to get me out of this mess of porn, it will be this. I need so much love and attention. That's where the problems from PMO come from. I can get it from Mary.
Hang in there brother! It will pass! Definitely cut out the peaking. Draw a line in the sand and don't cross it, because it is hard to pull away. Find something else that you enjoy doing instead. Or go for a walk to clear your head, have a coffee at a cafe somewhere nice. Take a book, then journal or read. Even if you don't feel like it, just start on something else, then hopefully engaging in that will distract you, but also you will enjoy it and be rewarded in that way You have got this!
and i relapse , no need to explain why. lesson learned though. it´s a repetead lesson but a necessary one, to not let my guard down regardless how i feel, even when i feel superman. always be 100% determinated about no pmo. still it was a great streak with lot´s of benefits and i´m sure the withdrawal will be light. i´m getting close. Onwards my brothers!!!
I relapsed on Friday of last week. Haven't posted here due to shame. I'm realizing how difficult this 4-5 day mark is for me so I need to be hanging out on this site more than ever.
I can so relate to this. Better come clean right away. It just saves time, you'll give yourself a fresh start right away and you won't be victimizing yourself for a couple of days
Just realize you're doing the thing you've never done before so it's hard to form a habit of it. Hold on and things surely will get better. Each day is a new opportunity to start over. Go get it brother!