---------Transmission STARTING: -Time: December 10th, 2019 AC -------Unit: Element"Pneu" ----UPDATE: "Stall recovery maneuver successful"/// -------Mission Parameter: "Day1"[complete]//// -------- NEXT ACTION:Regaining energy -----Transmission COMPLETE
43/90 I saw some forbidden material. I closed the browser and told myself: P and M isn't a real reward. Reward for you is O with real girl! But I have to wait till the end of hard mode.
Current Challenge 13/90 (ends Feb 25) 288/319 Good Days (no relapse) Day 103 weight training (M, W, F) Day 38 reduced alcohol, caffeine and sugar Longest streaks 67 then 51 (4 years later) - feeling good and strong but have had a few urges over the past 24 hours - I did my homework I mentioned yesterday and thought I would post it as maybe it would help others: Rationalizations (lies) and Responses (truths) I tell myself ... I feel horny.... Truth: Channel that energy and transmute it into something positive and constructive (woodworking, cleaning the house, garden work, get firewood, etc). Porn will only make you feel shame and guilt. Have sex with the wife when horny! I don't want to feel this way (negative emotion like angry, sad, empty, lost, lonely, hungover) .... Truth: Porn may help you escape in pleasure for a few minutes but after you'll feel worse and still have the negative emotions to deal with. Feel the pain and push through it! Just one peak.... Truth: It's never just one peak as it always turns into a landslide of full-on PMO sooner or later. We had a fight so I deserve it ... or she deserves it (me PMO) ..... Truth: It doesn't resolve your marital problems but just prolongs the suffering with avoidance. She deserves better than you if you continue with that shit! Just want to find that perfect looking girl - l just need to keep looking til I find her ... Truth: It's all fake and fantasy! You are looking at pixels on a screen not having some sexual experience. You are compromising your life with your wife as well as destroying your self-confidence, self-esteem and your health in the process. It's just an innocent Google search to satisfy my curiosity about words and names I don't know in order to educate myself so what can it hurt? (Next) I wonder what images or videos this word will conjure up (then spend too long trying to find a risky picture of it) ... Truth: One search will lead to another and you'll be back PMO'ing in no time so don't fool yourself into thinking it is in the name of education when it is more about peaking and dopamine hits. STOP searching risky things since you want to quit PMO!!! I'll quit when I'm good and ready and it's a good time to begin and end the 90 day challenge ... Truth: There is never a perfect time so stop looking for special dates which will make it work this time. That's all superstition beliefs - it's all about your level of self-discipline, resolve to quit, will-power and forming new habits. What's the harm in looking, no commitment, no risk of disease, no rejection, no socializing effort... Truth: You are addicted to fantasy! You need to get grounded in reality and stop binging on crap!
one more day my brothers. "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." Christopher Reeve
Relapsed. 0/90. I find myself unable to shake the outrageous sex drive after around 7 days. All inspo and control seems to abort. Give us strength and perseverance.
Day 53. Having some serious ups and downs. My dopamine is so down right now. Writing exams next week, have to learn for that. All my power and focus is going towards building my life and character the hard way. It's sick I wasted all my years with that addiction. Feeling sad about it and that's ok. Stay strong in the fight for your best life. We won't look back, only ahead. Inviting the new life, manifesting through our focus.
Today I made it to reach day 33/99. I never expected to be able to go so far. It feels just so awesome to have done what I had decided before.
Day 0/90, ready to do this. Gonna start going to the gym tomorrow and I've already started eating better. I want my memory, my energy, and my confidence back, as well as my ability to attract a partner, so it's time to buckle down onto this because I need to invest for serious. However serious I was before, I gotta be even more so. It doesn't stop until that 90 day counter is up.
I have found exercise is helpful in tiring you out and helping lessen the urges. Just picking up new hobbies if you can afford the time. I think remembering to give it time is important too, everyone's journey is going to look a bit different and take different amounts of time. Just as long as we all make it to recovery.