Day 1. One more reset. I learned some new things about my addiction again. First is how it’s connected to places: P has a much stronger grip on me in certain rooms and places where I used to consume a lot of it. Somehow it’s harder there to see the difference between the addiction and my conscious decision making. If I go to a different part of the house, my thinking changes. So I know that I can’t always trust my brain in specific places. Second is how it’s triggered by language: pornographic images have always had less of a grip on me than stories. When yesterday I accidentally came across a series of erotic stories in a totally unexpected environment, I couldn’t resist. Whereas I had similar experiences with images and I could turn away from them much more easily. So I know the danger lies in language and stories first, more than anything. With these two new pieces of information, I know I can beat my previous record of 56 days this time. Let’s go.
Relapsed on January 15th, rebooting. Mind sharp now. Memory good. I run 30-45 minutes every morning. Started that 4 days ago. Ran about 7 kimometers today. It's enough to bleed all of my exeeding energy who can cause "trouble" to me, while still leaving enough energy to let me study 7-8 hours a day. I fell much calmer and more focused. Run, buddy!
Day 0 Please forgive me, my friends, i relapsed again. This relapse showed me that I still have lack of discipline and I need to build it like I was advised here. Let's believe this is the last relapse. If here are any christians, please pray for me.
51 days my brothers. today i feel a big desire to watch erotic content but i know where this come from. on the last days i´ve slack a little on my good habits and personal dreams so now the brain is starting to rebel against this grey life and wants to escape from it through porn, i understand. i got to get back on the healthy excitment wagon again, today.
here´s what i wrote in 2/12/2019, the day after my relapse: "i have the same problem bro. after a long streak i can keep up with the motivation. what i found out was 2 things: first issue: lack of passion for the new life. second issue: a hidden progressive belief than i can do pmo one time, and without harmful damages. we got to deal with those two issues to overcome the addiction once and forever. let´s go!!!" so now here i´m again, in hesitation. the second issue is dealt. i know that´s not real. but the first issue is still happening. i´m gonna change that now. i will not peak today brothers, i promise you.
85/90 Busy almost all day, the desire for P is not present for several days so I'm very happy with that. Also had morning wood.
Thanks brother! I feel more confident and secure about myself now. There's a sense of accomplishment too! One thing which helped me personally is that, I get distracted easily. So, if I am feeling the urge to open up P, I'll open something else and it would grab my attention. This is not really productive if you just mindlessly browse and not do your work . It just helped me a lot to avoid P and anything other than P is better. So, try "distracting" yourself with something more interesting to you personally; it must be so grabbing that it can make you forget you wanted to watch P just a few minutes before. Also, keeping a routine and a to-do list keeps you busy. These are just diversion techniques which can keep you away from PMO. Hope this helps! Try to keep a calm head even if you relapsed. Don't be too hard on yourself!
Aren't you currently close to your record of longest streak ever now. Don't loose it now buddy, I'm routing for you to surpass it and finally complete all 90 days. I hope the same for me this time too.
Day 12/90 No PM (ends April 8) Day 361 on this challenge Day 123 weight training (M, W, F) Day 21 No alcohol Day 16 No desserts Day 18 No caffeinated coffee - learning how to relax and just be in the moment (mindfulness) with feelings of boredom, lostness, and emptiness and not use PMO to distract myself away from it - it really helps to not run from our feelings