Day 31~~ Well, I feel I am improving day by day. You cannot really differentiate the feeling between yesterday and today since it would be affected by weather, activity ..... , but things like physical strength, emotion, and even confidence are actually much better than last "period"(maybe ten days). Even though I still have far to go, a month is already a big milestone and I am happy to accomplish it.
Alright, guys, I'm back here. I went away to do the 30 Day Challenge, but I found that there is much less activity there and less meaningful discussion in that thread. And I do find I still need a lot of inspiration and input to kick my habits for real. Just peeked this morning so I'm starting at day 1 here again. My big problem is my curiosity that is still very much alive. I know to steer away from certain sites, I know I shouldn't bring my phone to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I am constantly adding new sites and search phrases to BlockSite - so far so good. But what I find extremely hard to kick is that every time I see an enticing picture or video or phrase, I click on it and I follow. Every time I come across some movie that I think might contain some sexy scenes, I find myself scrolling and looking for them. So I manage to not actively search for it, but not yet to say no to a temptation when it's in front of my eyes. So, that's stopping right now. I am saying no to my curiosity. I am saying no to wanting to reduce people to images. I am saying no to this form of 'excitement'. Day 1. No more peeking. Any kind of peeking at a picture, video or a text for erotic content is bad and keeps me addicted. I'm done with that bullshit. I joined this forum 171 days ago. Of those 171 days, I was 153 days without P.
Well done!!!! Please provide a link here if you make a success story. And after that I hope to not see you again here, hahaha. Maybe in the 365 days challenge.
That's so awesome! You're an inspiration to me for sure. I'm gonna be like you in 90 days! I'm gonna do it this time. Thanks so much.
Day 2 check. No big temptations. Did some exercise almost all days of the week. It's been a while since I exercised consistently, so hopefully it's is a good sign.
Thanks for your honesty. I totally recognise this slow and not always noticeable spiral of negativity, where you slowly let go of more and more of your resolutions and mindfulness. I've had a similar experience for over a month now, this whole period of working at home. But we can and will turn this around and get out of there. Starting NOW!
We're both on two days, Terry. I say, let's make it to 30 together!! What do you think? Should be doable, right?
Yes, let's do it! I also have a new plan, maybe it's a good idea for others too. It's actually been adviced here often and I took it just now from one of those Universal Man videos that some people have been sharing. So nothing revolutionary, but now I think I found a way that will make it work for me. I'm gonna keep a journal of my urges, when they appear, why they appear and how I deal with them. Every single time I have one, I'm gonna write this down. And then I'm gonna give a rating to how I handled it, from 10 to 1. 10 being totally not engaging with it whatsoever, 1 being a 1+ hour relapse ending in O. And I'm gonna define what behaviour gets what rating before hand. What I hope that that will achieve is that if at some point I respond to the urge, for example by clicking on some content purely for the sake of hoping to find arousement in there, is that I will have an incentive to stop sooner, because I will know, for example, okay, what I did now is bad and I will have to give myself a 6, but if I stop now at least it's just a 6, whereas if I click on the next video, I get a 5. Plus, I will get an overview of patterns in my urges, so I might be able to see them coming sooner, and I will have an overview of strategies that I have applied that work. Let's kick this bullshit.
Day 2/90 Feeling very good today A lot of the day is left, I'll make it a good one Hope everyone has a good day too!
Day 16. I feel like it really gets harder.. especially now during lock down.. I've lost motivation to do things due to selfisolation.. For me it is hard staying away from ppl and interacting with them face to face. It makes me think of my urges. Fortunately I didnt watch anything that would arouse me urges. Trying to stay away from all sorts of vids or pics with beautifil ladys. I won't give up! I'll be fighting!
This is a good urge log: https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/urge-log.pdf
Day 10 Social media can be quite a trap for the fapstronaut. It's so easy to stumble upon a triggering image. That moment can be so difficult. Your brain screams at you that you need it, you need that image, you need to change your life somehow so you can HAVE whatever that image is (or others like it). Your brain has been wired to believe that you NEED something that isn't good, helpful, or healthy for you in the slightest. It's hard to just stop and accept that this craving, this feeling, is simply wrong and must die. You must let it go. I'm not saying you shouldn't want good things (or have a healthy sex drive). On the contrary, feeling desire and excitement for things is good! I'm saying that craving for porn and hyper-sexual stimulation, that's the thing that simply has to die. In order to truly move on and find healing you have to accept that you're just never quite going to have that experience. Gotta let go.
I will admit I am nervous. I started off the week on an amazing note,I slipped today. I realised soon after that prior to today's slip - I had become SUPER sensitive to sexually suggestive words and posts on social media. I wasn't aware then,that it's part of the recovery journey! Aah. I want to do this right. I want to complete this challenge. I've also decided to go on a social media fast. So I'll only be on the net to post my progress here. With prayer and God's Word plus the startegies from this forum, I can do this. I healed from excessive smoking (cigarettes) and I will heal from PMO too ❤️☺️
Yes, mine looks a lot like that, except I've added two things: 1) Not only what prompted it on the surface, so for example a picture I saw or a memory, but also what was the underlying cause was, for example that I was nervous about my work and therefore more perceptible to perceive things as appealing in terms of escape. 2) A rating system for how well I dealt with the urge. Now I'm nearing my first day working in this way and I can tell I had two moments where I have to give myself a 5 and a 4, so not good. Both were 15 minute peeks with some touching. But there were also 4 cases where I earned a 9 and a 10: either not doing anything or clicking on something but then immediately turning away from it. I've decided to reset my counter whenever I have any situation that rates below 9, so that's what I'm gonna have to do now. But I'm also positive that this system will provide me with the opportunity to see growth from day to day. Taking it one day at a time and improving a little every day.